A Family Affair
by babakisses
Summary: After Edward left Bella behind in Forks both of them try to move on with their lives. What will they do when their paths cross each with each other years later and someone important to both of them is caught in the middle?
1. Chapter 1: Daydreams

**Hello! This is my first time writing a Twilight inspired fanfic, I hope you enjoy it~**

**Of course I don't own any of these characters, they belong to SM….just having fun playing around a bit!**

**Chapter 1**

"**Daydreams"**

**EPOV**

_We sat there in the meadow, simply staring at each other and then gently started caressing each other as we noticed the storm approaching, b ut neither of us wanted to leave. As the downpour started, I quickly wrapped her in my arms, pulled her across my lap, and sealed our mouths. Bella closed her eyes to prevent the water from battering into them. The violence of the weather assaulted us, driving us into a heated frenzy for each other, unable to control ourselves. My hands locked around her buttocks, holding her tightly to my groin._

_Bella's legs straddled my thighs and her toes dug down into the mud as she closed any remaining space between our straining bodies. Her hands wondered over my rain-slicked body and moved through my bronze hair. I was craving for Bella who was intoxicating me with this behavior. I could smell the sweetness of her blood and feel it pulsating through her body as I tried to control myself so I would not hurt her, because I knew, I did not want to stop, I could not stop._

_Our lips feverishly meshed over and over, creating a white-hot heat between us. I slipped her dress off her shoulders to allow my hands to roam over her naked skin. My mouth trailed down her throat, tasting the sweet rainwater and savoring my urgent need for her, and hers for me. My mouth teased over the wet flesh and drifted to the inviting cleavage of her breasts. Bella arched backwards to permit my hungry exploration of her taut peeks. I could tell she ached for me and encouraged me to continue with my assault on her body and mind. At that moment, her blood was calling my name through out her entire body, and it was all I could do to keep from sinking my teeth into her fragile flesh, she had no idea how dangerous this was._

_My hands gripped the dress and ripped it from her body with the quick movement of my strong hands. She was now wearing nothing, and my fingers tantalized the bare skin of her thighs and buttocks. I hunched my back to reach her breasts and stimulate them with my tongue. Suddenly, we were falling backwards in the mud, but refused to release each other. We playfully rolled in the muddy bed, caressed, and kissed passionately, wildly, freely and urgently._

_We parted only long enough for me to free myself from my clinging pants. I made no attempt to end or delay this madness as I usually would have. It was one of those moments where my emotions and inhibitions were unleashed and allowed to run where they would, and the wild weather was no deterrent. It was, in fact, an erotic stimulant._

_I carefully moved atop of her being careful that she did not feel any of my weight, and quickly sealed our mouths yet again, blocking the pounding rain from her face. Our tongues met in a dance as I drove within her time and time again, being as gentle as possible for her sake, while still satisfying my need. The thunder vibrated the ground around us and seemed to urge us onward._

_Bella was feeling water dripping from my hair onto her face, so she closed her eyes to protect them from the stinging drops. Joy and desire moved through her, and in her ears I could hear her pulse throbbing and in her chest I could hear her heart roared louder than I had ever heard it before. I loved it! She showed no modesty or hesitation as she thrashed upon the ground under me. I could tell she needed the unrestrained connection of our bodies, and she clung to me as she began to feel the storm within her. As she stroked my back, I captured her face between my hands and kissed her greedily. I felt the rain beating against me, but I didn't care, it seemed to be driving me onward in the quest to make Bella all mine. I could feel the heat between us increase as we continued until our ecstasy was obtained and we moaned each other's names. We clung to one another and savored every moment._

_I propped my elbows on either side of my love and shielded her face from the downpour as we tried to breathe normally. Bella grinned and remarked, "That was wonderful."_

"_You have no idea." I replied, smiling broadly and tenderly. We kissed again leisurely and more calmly. Then laughed and hugged as the heavy rain could be ignored no longer._

It was then that I snapped out of my latest daydream as I sat next to the window where I was listening to the heavy rain pouring down outside. My mind wondered to some sort of fantasy about my Bella several times daily, though I must admit this was one of my more enjoyable ones. Our new home of Mount Washington, New Hampshire had an average of 98 inches of precipitation annually, so this was a fairly normal day weather wise, that must explain part of my fantasy.

For the past 5 years since I left Forks, there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought of Isabella Swan, longed for her, or loved her with all of my cold, still heart. I couldn't help but sigh as I thought back on the daydream I just "woke from" and wonder for the trillionth time if I had made the right decision in leaving her back in Forks. Again, I realized it was no use to go down that road again as my thoughts were interrupted by Alice.

"_You better get ready," _she said silently from upstairs, _"We have to leave for school in 15 minutes."_

I simply nodded and closed my eyes wit h a sigh hanging my head as I headed upstairs to get ready. I wished I could return to that daydream, as I always wished to return to them, but it was time to again face the reality of the choice I made for myself years ago. If I could sit and think of Bella 24 hours a day, I would. It would torture me, but at least a part of me would be with her in some way, even if it were merely my imagination.

Carlisle had found a job when we arrived earlier this summer at a local hospital, as he always does, and Esme was enjoying life as always, staying at home and working on many projects around the property. Emmett and Rosalie were off at Dartmouth studying whatever they were studying besides themselves, and Jasper decided to study at a local community college so that he could be home with Alice, where of course she and I were getting ready to start another senior year of high school, yet again. We decided to enroll as seniors this year, even though it is our first year here, because we were in need of more of a challenge, wanting to take college classes the next year.

"You ready to go?" she asked as she bounced around, pulled her bag impatiently over her shoulder as she saw me coming down the stairs.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I stated matter-of-factly as I made my way to the bottom step, running my fingers through my hair.

"Come on," she said as she locked her arm in mine as I grabbed my bag with my other hand, "it won't be so bad."

I paused and closed my eyes before I inhaled a deep breath, and then painfully let it out.

"You're thinking of her again aren't you?" she silently asked. I opened my eyes and nodded. She knew me so well. Without hesitation as she usually did, she tried to briefly console me by rubbing my arm a bit, then led me out to my awaiting silver Volvo.

**Any comments would be appreciated, I hope you liked the beginning…Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2 Sam and Izzy

**Hello! Here is chapter 2 from my first Twilight inspired fanfic, I hope you enjoy it~**

**Of course I don't own any of these characters, they belong to SM….just having fun playing around a bit!**

**Thanks again to my Beta Baskketcase!**

**Chapter 2**

"**Sam and Izzy"**

**EPOV**

When we pulled into the school, I quickly found a space in the senior parking lot and turned off the ignition, slamming the back of my head into my headrest. As always, for the past 1,796 days, 7 hours and 32 minutes anyway, I dreaded living this life without her, but had no choice. If I didn't follow through with this charade, the family I loved so much would suffer more than I do internally each second. It was for that when I heard Alice slam the passenger side of the door shut, I opened my eyes, inhaled what I hoped would be a calming breath, and exited the Volvo after grabbing the keys. I clicked the button on the key ring to lock the doors as I placed my bag on my shoulder and headed towards the building, not looking at anyone or anything in my path as I stuck the keys in the pocket of my jeans. I heard the usual comments from the minds of the other students as I made my way up the stairs, but for the most part I tried to tune them out. I pulled out my schedule from when Carlisle registered me and found my way around.

When I entered the building, I found my locker, which of course was next to Alice's.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked as gathered her things at human speed, eyes still in her locker.

I knew I worried her, and the rest of t he family, so as I finished up and closed my locker door, I bent down, gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head, and whispered, "I'll see you at lunch." With that, I was off to my first class of the day, literature.

I found my usual seat in the back corner of the room, and noticed a new, young teacher walk in the room. I could tell from her thoughts that she was nervous, yet excited to start the day. After the bell rang, she turned around and smiled, welcoming the class and taking attendance. When the usual business of the first day was taken care of, such as introductions and handing out a syllabus for the class, she made a quick announcement, "I'm happy to announce that the first book we will be studying this year is the classicWuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. I hope you're as excited as I am!"

I silently sank into my chair as I closed my eyes. I immediately thought of Bella, and how much she loved that damn book, and wondered how I was going to get through weeks of studying it. I couldn't wait for this day to end so I could go home and hunt. Ineeded to hunt.

**BPOV**

"It's my first day, and everything will be fine." I said calmly to myself as I stood in front of my classroom, my very own classroom for the very first time, "At any minute, 25 little kindergarteners were going to be coming through that door and I'm ready." I had to sit down because I started to feel a bit dizzy with nerves as I was starting my first real job since graduating from California State University. For a moment, my mind drifted back through the past couple of years. Once Edward left, and I finally started to move on with my life, I barely graduated high school, thanks to the depression I spiraled into. Then Charlie, Renee and I decided it would be best if I went off to college somewhere with lots of sun, so I could gain some perspective and maybe start to enjoy and live my life again, as I had in Phoenix, before Edward. I just noticed I am getting to the point where I can think his name and not burst into tears after about 5 years. A bit happy with myself, I sat up and smiled.

I looked outside the window at the clouds. After college graduation, I was still emotionally unable to live in Forks, barely able to visit due to the memories. I was offered this job in Crescent City, California. Apparently unable to move away from the Forks type of weather, Crescent City is known as the wettest city in the state. I figured at least it couldn't be any worse than Forks.

Looking up at the clock from my desk, I took one more sip from my coffee mug and headed to the door to meet my new students.

**EPOV**

Once lunch came, I walked into the cafeteria and quickly scanned the room to find Alice. There she was, as usual, sitting in a table in the corner so that we could claim it as our own for the year, away from the rest of the student body. She had already gotten a tray of food for us to "share". Through the day, the classes lagged on as they always did, since I knew I wasn't going to learn anything. Hell, I knew more about the subject matter than the teachers did. Anyway, as I made my way over to Alice she immediately began asking me about my day.

"So how was the first part of your day?" she asked, "Mine has been alright. Stupid classes as always. I can't wait to get home to Jasper. These kids are so immature."

I glared at her and hissed a bit through my teeth, then apologized as I put my face in my hands, "I'm sorry Alice. I didn't mean to."

"It's alright," she said aloud as she reached across the table to grab my hand, "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

At the end of the day, she had Jasper to go home to, and what did I have? My piano, my books, my music, but none of that was as satisfying as what I truly wanted. Then again, my mind started to drift off to Bella.

Just then, my head snapped up out of my hands.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked.

I said nothing, just inhaled a deep breath and looked around.

Alice looked around and tried to concentrate on something to figure out what it was.

"Do you smell that?" I asked her.

"_No, nothing unusual." _she replied as she looked around trying to figure out what it was, _"What is it?"_

I closed my eyes and as usual, the image of Bella with her pale skin, and long chestnut hair flowing over her shoulders with that beautiful smile was what I saw, as I inhaled I swear I could smell her.

"Nothing." I stated, shaking my head, it had to be my mind playing tricks on me. I inhaled again to test myself, and the scent was still there, but not as strong. All that had happened was a girl walked through the door and found her way to a table half way across the cafeteria and then walked up to the salad bar.

"_I don't see anything happening." _Alice stated silently as she felt confused.

Confused myself, I started some small talk with Alice about what we were going to do the next weekend Emmett and Rosalie came home.

**BPOV**

The day went fairly smooth and by the time I got home I was exhausted. Once in my apartment, I checked my e-mail and was happy to see that I received a message from a cousin of mine, which I had gotten to know better while I was away at college. Charlie and Renee figured that it would be nice for me to get to know some distant family we had in the San Diego area while I was close. I think that they wanted them to keep an eye on me, but it actually was nice. During the summers and most of her breaks she stayed in San Diego with her father who is a relative of Charlie's, and during the school year she was out on the East Coast with her mother. When she was out here, we would do things together; it was almost as if I had a younger sister. This year she was going to be a senior at her high school and was hoping to get into California State next fall so that she can be closer, plus she loved the weather on the West Coast. I was anxious to read her message and noticed it was dated this morning, which was also her first day of school. When I opened it, I chuckled as always, with her calling me Izzy instead of Bella.

_Dear Izzy,_

_I can't believe that the summer ended so fast and I had to come back. I had a great time_

_and miss you so much already. This weather is so depressing and I can't wait to graduate and be able to move back there for college. I know I'll miss mom, but that's part of college right?_

_Anyway, I got up early to make sure I get to school on time, but wanted to drop you a quick line. I hope you have a great first day, I know you'll be great. Talk to you soon._

_Miss you,_

_Sam_

After I read her message, typed a quick response.

_Samantha,_

_Everything will be fine, it's your senior year and you better have a blast. I wasn't in a mood to enjoy mine, so you make up for my loss, do you hear me? College will come soon enough enjoy your time now. Who knows, maybe some boy will get your attention this year!_

_I haven't heard about your first day yet, so I hope it was a good one. I'll talk to you later!_

_Love,_

_Izzy_

Once I hit send, I got up and walked to the kitchen to start to cook myself some dinner. As I walked by the window in hallway, I couldn8 0t help by hear the rain beating against the window. For the first time in a really long time my mind drifted to Forks and the Cullen family, and of course Edward. I closed my eyes and pictured him in my head, the way he looked when he took me to his meadow, not the last time I saw him. I suppressed that memory well enough that whenever my mind should think of him, I think of him in that happy time in the meadow. I noticed I was smiling as just a single tear rolled down my cheek. "Progress" I thought to myself, "yes, I was making progress." With a deep breath, I moved my feet from the window and into the kitchen to make my dinner.

**Any thoughts? I would love to hear them!**


	3. Chapter 3: The Meeting

**As with everything, I wish I owned these characters but of course I don't. Thank goodness SM came up with them!**

**Here is chapter 3 of my story, I hope you like it! I thought I was going to have more time to write in the past week, but of course when you expect it, it never happens right? Again, this is my first attempt at a Twilight fanfic so any reviews are helpful and greatly appreciated! Thanks to my lovely Baskketcase!!**

**Chapter 3**

"**The Meeting"**

**EPOV**

The day was moving as they always did; abate and aching. Once lunch came around, I slid my books into my locker and made my way to the cafeteria to meet Alice as I always did. Once there, Alice had a bit of a smile on her face with her nose in a book asking Edward, why don't you go get us a salad for lunch. Growing ever more tired each day of this, I sighed and made my way to the salad bar to get us some "lunch". As I was in line I couldn't help but hear everybody's thoughts which mostly ranged from the upcoming exams in class to plans for the weekend. That is until I was wondering what was taking the girl in front of me so long to get her food. I stopped behind her and closed my eyes, intently concentrating on her, as I continued to place items on the salad trying to be patient.

"Excuse me?" I politely asked.

"Oh," she said as she was busy fixing something on her tray," I'm sorry! Just go around me." and then spun around, slightly losing her balance as she did so.

"May I help you…?" I asked with a pause as I lightly grabbed her arm to help her regain her balance, a bit perplexed as I again concentrated now that I could see her face. I quickly removed my hand from her arm before she could notice my cold touch, and I had seen this girl before, yesterday when she walked into the cafeteria. She smelled exactly the same as yesterday, which caused me to take in a deep breath. I could feel a small amount of venom trickle down my throat.

"Oh," she said as she steadied herself, blushing from embarrassment with a small smile on her face as she put her head down, "Ummm, I guess you already have. Thanks."

"No problem," I replied with a smile as she gathered her things and I motioned with my hand for her to go ahead of me.

"You must be new here," she stated as she handed the woman her money and quickly ran her hands through her long light brown hair, "My name is Samantha, or Sa m." She then turned to me with a smile before saying, "Thanks again for the help today."

"No problem," I said as she moved her tray allowing me to pay for the salad on my tray, "my name is Edward, and that is my sister Alice." I motioned with my head over to the table where Alice still had her head in her book.

"Nice to meet you, maybe I'll see you around.," she stated with a smile before she headed off to her table and I headed over towards Alice.

"_Have fun?" _She asked as I lightly tossed the tray on our table and sat down.

"What have you seen?" I bluntly asked.

"Why would you ask that?" Alice asked, revealing an evil smile on her face as she put her book down and started playing with the food in front of us.

"Alice, don't mess with me," I said with a slight growl mixed with the words. "She smells so…familiar and…" I let my mind wonder off a bit, "and the worst part is her thoughts."

"What?" she asked, able to tell something was alarming me.

"They're not constant." I stated flatly, as my mind still wondered.

"_What?"_

I leaned in, always being careful of our surroundings before I continued, "I could hear her thoughts sporadically. It was like they were a radio station tuning in and out on me."

Edward? What do you think that means?

"I have no idea Alice," I stated as I moved my eyes to where Samantha was sitting, laughing with her friends, "I have no idea, but I will have to talk to Carlisle as soon as possible." I couldn't resist watching that direction. Samantha sat in the middle of a group of what seemed to be her friends laughing away at whatever was going on. Then all of a sudden, I heard the bell ring. Alice nudged me and I slowly got up as I kept my eyes on the girl in the middle of the cafeteria until I didn't see her any longer. Once at my locker I grabbed the books I needed and gently closed the door so it wouldn't break and closed my eyes and asked myself, "What is going on?"

As the day continued, my thoughts were isolated on that girl Samantha. I had so many questions, but being the new guy at school I didn't want to be too creepy asking questions, I would have to figure out a way to get my answers without drawing any unwanted attention to myself.

At the end of the school day, I waited for Alice, standing by the Volvo. All of a sudden, I saw her bouncing from the building. There was no mistaking Alice with all of her energy, but she was dragging someone behind her. Allowing my eyes to focus, I noticed it was that girl…Samantha.

I suddenly stood straight up with my right hand firmly on the hood of my car as I let my mind race wondering what that sister of mine was up to.

"_Don't worry." _I heard her say as she got closer and could apparently notice the nervous stance my body was in., _"Nothing will happen." _As I waited for their arrival I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath to try to calm myself, I didn't like the unknown.

"Edward," Alice said as she made her way to the car, "I want to introduce you to a new friend of mine."

My eyes made their way to Samantha's and we both smiled. As the blood rushed into her cheeks she moved her eyes to Alice, "We've met already."

"Yes," I said simply, "We met at lunch today. It's nice to see you again, Samantha right?"

I reached my hand out with a smile to greet her properly this time.

"Sam," she stated as she reached her hand out to meet mine, "Just call me Sam."

"Well it was nice to meet you Sam," Alice said, smothering the poor girl with one of her hugs, "but I think Edward here is ready to get home. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure," she said with a wave, "It was nice to meet you two!"

With a nod of my head, I met Alice in the car with a glare, _"I swear, she came up to introduce herself to me, not the other way around_." I rolled my eyes at her as I started the ignition and she continued to defend herself, _"I swear!" _But I'm glad she did.

I just chuckled, "I'm sure."

"You're right though," she said seriously, as we made our way out of the parking lot, "there is something familiar about her. We'll have to talk to Carlisle about it this evening. You okay?"

I looked over at my sister as we made our way down the road towards our house, "I don't know. Something's off, but I just can't put my finger on it yet."

We sat in silence for the rest of the drive home.

**I hope you liked, let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4: Allergies

**Here is chapter 4 of my first Twilight inspired fanfic! I apologize for such short chapters, but I'm working on making them longer!**

**As always, I don't own any of these characters, wish I was Stephenie Meyer! **

**Thank you again to my beta Baskketcase!**

**Chapter 4**

"**Allergies"**

**BPOV**

After such a busy day at work, I grabbed some Chinese food on the way home and all I wanted was a glass of wine. Once through my door, I placed my bag on the counter and practically sprinted to the fridge to pour myself a glass of my favorite red wine. After stopping dead in my tracks to take a sip, I closed my eyes and savored the flavor in my mouth. After I opened my eyes, I exhaled a breath and quickly grabbed my laptop from the other room and brought it to the kitchen table where I turned it on as I went back to the counter to grab my dinner. I was famished.

I quickly opened to my e-mail account expecting to see a message from Renee or Sam. I was excited to see one from Sam, so I clicked on it.

_Izzy,_

_OMG. My senior year is going great! I love my literature class, math is alright, Physics sucks, but I met the most amazing guy today. I was so flustered with our meeting that I don't remember his name (yeah, you know me, it was a classic) but he seemed amazing. He was tall, dark eyed and seemed like a gentleman. I met his sister at the end o f the day and she seems great too. Who knows right?_

_OK, I hear yelling so apparently its dinnertime. I'll write more tomorrow. I hope things are going well for you! Miss you!_

_Sam_

I took in a deep breath and couldn't help but smile as I brought the chopsticks to my mouth and stuffed the broccoli in. I was glad she sounded so excited, especially about a boy. Needing a refill on my wine, I returned to the chilled bottle on the counter and decided I would write back later. After so many years, I had finally learned to relax, and that was exactly what I needed to do.

**EPOV**

"Edward," Carlisle said from the behind his desk, "I honestly have no idea." He placed both hands on the desk as he stood and shook his head before continuing, "It makes no sense to me, but I'll do some research and see what I can find."

"Thanks Carlisle," I told him as I stood from the chair I was sitting in.

"_You haven't had any issues with your abilities since…" _Carlisle trailed off in his thoughts as he looked at me.

I knew what he meant, "No," I said sheepishly as my head dropped and I closed my eyes. The image of Bella standing there alone in the woods as I left her returned to my mind. Everyone was cautious of thinking of her, and especially careful with their words when I was around.

"_I'm sorry son," _Carlisle said silently again with pain in his own eyes, _"I didn't mean to bring her up, but I had to ask before I started to research."_

My gaze returned to his and I simply nodded understandingly before returning my gaze to the floor and turning to exit the room. I grabbed the door knob, turned it to open the door and walked through closing the door behind me. I had no choice, I left the house as quickly as I could and ran to the forest. I needed to be alone.

The next morning, Alice and I pulled into the parking lot at school and I noticed her right away. She was sitting on one of the steps into the building reading a book.

"I'll see you at lunch alright?" Alice asked as she noticed my gaze upon Samantha as she continued, "I'm seeing you two together, but I don't know in what way. Incase you were wondering."

I shook my head before spitting the word out, "No."

"You know how it works Edward," she said shaking her head as she opened the car door, and then closed it leaning through the open window, "Like I said, I don't know in what way. Maybe you just have a class together next semester?" With those words, she left. I took the keys out of the ignition, slipped them into my pocket and made my way out of the car. Once I was out, I slammed the door shut, put my bag on my shoulder and looked up to where she was sitting when we arrived. She was now standing and fumbling to put her book in her bag as she was talking to Alice. Not a moment later, Alice turned in my direction and waved which caused Samantha to look over and nod in my direction with a smile on her face. I could see her red cheeks from across the parking lot as I simply nodded in their direction.

"_She likes to be called Sam." _I heard Alice say as they turned to walk into the building together.

Whatever Alice saw in her vision had to be changed. I didn't like what was going on with this Samantha. I can't understand why I can8 0t hear all of her thoughts, and that smell…her smell. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath swallowing a small amount of venom that had developed as I thought of it…there is something about it…there was something about her.

**APOV**

My vision wasn't clear, but I had to see what I could do to make it clearer. I saw glimpses of Edward and Sam together, but I couldn't tell where, when or in what way. With Bella it was easier, but I wouldn't dare compare the two, especially to Edward. Just the mention of her name and he falls into a deeper depression, if its even possible. I know what I'll do! My vision told me that this idea would give me answers, I didn't know what they were, but anything is better than nothing.

"Hey Sam!" I said as I saw her heading to the cafeteria for lunch.

"Hey Alice!" she said.

"I was thinking, since I'm new here, would you mind sitting with me at lunch and telling me things I need to know about Mount Washington, and anything I need to know about the school?" I asked her knowing she was a helpful soul, "I just want to fit in especially with it being my senior year and all, you know?"

"Um," she said, as she looked over at me unsure. I bit my bottom lip to help convince her a bit more, but I knew she would do it, "Sure."

"Great!" I said practically jumping up and down. This might be easier than I had thought.

"We can sit with my brother and you can tell us all about it. Thanks so much!"

Once in the cafeteria, I noticed Edward wasn't at what we considered "our table" yet, so Sam and grabbed trays at the salad bar and made our lunches before sitting down. I sat facing the door so I coul d see Edward when he walked in.

Sam started eating her creation and I notice him walk through the door. He stopped immediately as he saw us sitting there.

"_Don't even think of leaving. Get your ass over here." _I told him from across the room.

I noticed his stance change as he clenched his jaw and shook his head no.

"_Get yourself over here now. I have to see what is going on with you two." _I screamed in my head squinting my eyes, _"If you don't, you'll pay dearly."_

With a look of defeat, he walked over to the table and stood at the end, between Sam and I. I noticed he wasn't breathing.

"Hello there," he said looking at me and widening his eyes, and then looked over at Sam with a smile, "company at lunch today I see?"

"Yes, I hope you don't mind," I said aloud, "I asked Sam here to come over and tell me all about Mount Washington and the school so I could get caught up on anything I need to know. You know how I like to be part of the in-crowd!" I smiled at Edward and then over at Sam, "And I thought it would be helpful for you to hear too."

"_Play nice brother dear." _I said silently.

He smiled at me and replied, "I'll go grab something to eat and then I'll be back."

"Alright!" I said with a conquering smile.

As Edward walked away from the table Samantha leaned in towards me, "So if you don't mind me asking, you two don't exactly look like twins, so how are you both seniors?" I explained how we were "adopted" by Carlisle and Esme and filled her in on the rest of our "family story" just before Edward returned with a tray similar to mine.

"So," Sam said with a smile as Edward sat next to me, "What all do you want to know?"

"Everything!" I said.

As Sam talked, telling us what there was to do in the area, what everyone did and some of the local gossip, I noticed Edward finally take a breath around her. After his breath, I noticed him stiffen again, and the look in his eyes was one I hadn't seen in years. Sam must have noticed it too because she stopped mid sentence, "Ed…Eddie right? Are you alright?"

Looking over at him I gasped and quickly stood up, pulling on his arm for him to stand up too.

"Oh my God!" I said, "He must have had something he's allergic to. He has so many allergies it's hard to tell sometimes. I better get him to the nurse."

"Come on!" I yelled at him as he stood up looking at me and I started to lead him away from the table.

"Don't worry," Sam, said, "I'll take care of your trays. I hope you're alright Eddie!"

"Thanks!" I said as I quickly got Edward out of the cafeteria, away from Samantha.

Once we were safely out in the courtyard, I looked him in the eyes and asked, "What the hell was that?"

**OK, what are you thinking about this? Again, sorry for the short chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5: A Little Bit of Forks

**Thanks for the few reviews after the last chapter! *hugs* Sorry my updates have been so short, I'm trying to make them longer with the short writing time I have. I hope you enjoy!**

**As always, I don't own any of these characters….**

**Chapter 5:**

"**A Little Bit of Forks"**

**EPOV**

"Alice," I hissed through my teeth with frustration, "I don't know what's going on."

"Well then why did you act like that?" she asked as she tried to not draw any attention to us in the hallway as other students and teachers made their way in and out of the cafeteria.

"Her smell," I started as I closed my eyes and brought up my hand, pinching my thumb and pointer finger on the bridge of my nose out of frustration, "Her smell, I just couldn't take it anymore."

Alice stood in front of me staring with a small smile before I opened my eyes, returning my hands to my side and asked, "What?"

"_I've only seen you like this once before Edward!" _she thought almost giddy, _"I know you don't want to talk about it but…"_

I had to stop her there with a glare and growl, "No, I don't!"

"Okay, okay!" she said aloud taking a step back with her hands raise in the air. All I could do is cringe at the thought.

"_I'm sensing that even with this discovery, fate is going to bring you and Samantha together in some way," _she thought with a thoughtful look on her face, _"so you better figure this out." _

Just a couple of seconds of me staring at Alice in disbelief, the door opened and the scent made my eyes close and my breathing stop again.

"Hey Alice, "she paused a moment a bit uneasy, "Eddie," Samantha said as she poked her head through the cafeteria doors, finding her way to us just outside the large, "Everything alright?"

She could probably notice the tension as Alice stood and looked at me waiting for me to answer. All I could do was try to plaster a smile on my face and nodded with a fake cough.

"He's alright now," Alice said making her way over to me and rubbing her hand on my back in a comforting manner, "I think he just needed some fresh air and might need to go walk around a bit." I looked down at her and she was smiling as she thought, _"Just go pull yourself together."_

I nodded at Alice and said, "Yes, I think that's a good idea. Thanks Alice." I then turned to Samantha and politely said, "Thanks again Samantha, I'll see you later." As made my way down the hall, I could sense the two of them staring at me as I found my way to the building exit. I stood just outside so I could still hear my sister and our new friend.

"Is he going to be alright?" I heard Samantha ask Alice in a worried tone.

Alice replied, with what I think was a smirk, "Yes, he's going to be fine." just before they made their way back into the busy cafeteria.

I couldn't help by ask myself, "What would the fates have in store for me with a girl like Samantha who I just can't wrap my mind around."

**BPOV**

"Jake!" I couldn't help but yell with excitement as I heard him knocking on my door. I didn't go out much, and I didn't have many friends so I always enjoyed company from home at my apartment. As I opened the door he stood there with his toolbox and backpack in hand.

"Jake!" I yelled again with a huge smile on my face as I practically lunged at him, wrapping my arms around him with excitement.

"Easy girl!" he said with a smile plastered across his face as I released him, "I'm going to have to make my way down here more often if this is the reception I'm going to get! Watch out, my head might not be able to fit through the door!"

"Oh Jake!" I said as I led him into my apartment, closing the door behind us finding him again for another hug, "I miss you so much!"

"Again," he stated as he placed his toolbox down, "You're going to have to break things more often so I can come over."

"Don't be silly," I said as I took my arms from around him again, "you're welcome anytime, not just when I break things."

We both laughed, and I offered him a drink which he gladly accepted.

"So where is this broken chair Bella?" he asked as he took a drink from the beer bottle.

"Over here." I said, leading the way into the living room. In one of my many clumsy moments I was rushing around the apartment getting ready for something and lost balance in a pair of my heels as I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. When I lost my balance, I tried to regain it on this old wooden chair that Charlie gave me from the attic and I destroyed it.

"What the hell did you do to this thing?" he asked as he glared at it, scratching his head.

"You know me." I said, shrugging and blushing, as I took a sip from my wine glass.

"No need to worry, I think just some wood glue and some wood screws and it will be as good as new." he stated with a smile.

"Thanks Jake!" I couldn't help but smile. Jake has been my best friend for years now. He has saved me in more ways than one and we knew just about everything about each other.

As he worked away on the chair, I excused myself and took a quick shower and returned with my wet hair tied back, wearing some boxers and a t-shirt. Jake was still working, so I grabbed him another beer from the fridge and placed it next to him. He thanked me with a kiss on the cheek and I found my way to the sofa to start correcting some papers from work.

"So how is the teaching world?" he asked as he noticed what I was doing.

I couldn't help but sigh, "It's alright. A lot of work, tiring, expensive," I said and then smiled, "but fun."

"Good!" he said as he stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans as he made his way over to the sofa to sit beside me, "Glad to hear you're having fun. All Charlie does is talk about how proud of you he is."

I chuckled and looked at him and rolled my eyes, "Charlie would be proud of me if I could go a month without a bruise or getting hurt in anyway."

Jacob couldn't help but chuckle at that too as he finished up his beer, "You're probably right. I hope they have a good health plan for you."

I smacked him playfully on the arm as he got up to place his bottle in the kitchen sink, and then he returned and plopped next to me yet again on the couch, "So, the chair is done, what's up the rest of the night?"

I sighed yet again, "I have work tomorrow, so I won't be able to stay up too late."

"That's alright Bells," he said as he moved the stack of papers I had in front of me to the coffee table in front of us, "I understand. Since I'm staying the night, why don't we just watch some TV like we used to?"

"Sounds great!" I said with a yawn. Jake grabbed me around my waist and pulled me closer to him, and I instinctively placed my head on his shoulder. "I only have the one bedroom and you're more than welcome to it for tonight since you made the drive down here to help me."

"That's alright Bells," he said to me with a smile, "I have the sofa, and I'm not stealing your bed."

I argued with him a bit more, but before long, my eyes were closed.

"Bells, you can only hit your alarm clock so many times, it doesn't stop time!" I heard as I was lying in my bed with the covers pulled up over my head. Then the alarm went off again. "Geeze Bella, you've gotta get up!" Jake said as he walked over to the bed and clicked the OFF button on my alarm clock.

"I don't want to get up." I moaned as he ripped the covers from over y face.

"You have to get up to go to work, and I have to get going back home." Jacob replied. Hearing that, I sighed and opened my eyes to see my best friend sitting there beside me. I liked his new short haircut, it made him look older, and he had gotten so tall over the past few years. It wasn't hard to notice what a handsome man he was now.

Remembering the night before, I sat up a bit confused as to how I had gotten into my bed; the last thing I remember was watching old reruns on TV with Jacob. "Jake, how did I get…." was all I managed to get out before he stepped in.

"I carried you in here. I know you insisted on staying on the sofa, but what kind of man would I be if I did that?" He couldn't help but crack a smile when he said that.

"Thanks Jake," I said as I gave him a kiss on his cheek and then sighed yet again, "You're right, I need to get up and get going." As I made my way to the bathroom, I heard Jake yell that he had put on a pot of coffee which was music to my ears. I quickly got dressed in a kindergarten friendly pair of pants and blouse with flats. I pulled my hair back and dusted a bit of make-up on my face before I walked out to my already poured cup of coffee.

"How do I live without you Jake?" I asked as I sat down and took in my first sip of the warm liquid.

"I don't know!" he said with a smile, "But we have to get together more often Bells. I miss you!"

"I miss you too Jake, but…"

"I know," he said understanding why it was hard for me to go back to Forks. He never truly understood what I went through, but he was my best friend after _HE_ left. Jacob didn't judge me, he could sense when to push me and when to let me be, somehow he knew exactly what I needed; he was the best.

"Alright," I said, standing up and putting my mug into the sink, "I have to get going or I'm going to be late."

"I'm on my way out too." Jacob replied as he grabbed his bags. We walked out of my apartment building together and he insisted on walking me to my car.

"I miss that old truck." he said with a frown as we found my little Toyota. It had died shortly after I started my freshman year of college. I was devastated a bit because that was one of the last things I had from my time with _HIM. _There were times I thought I could still smell him in the cab.

"Me too," I said with a chuckle, "but it lead a good life."

"That it did," he replied, "So I better let you go. Promise we'll do this again Bells!"

"We will, tell everyone I say Hi" I said as I gave him a hug, "you're the best Jake, I love you!"

"Love you too Bells!" he said as watched me get into my car. As I pulled off on my way to work, I saw Jake waving in the rear view mirror. There were some days I missed Forks…

**Thanks again for reading…what do you think? Any reviews are appreciated ******


	6. Chapter 6: Change

**Here is another little bit! Thanks again to Baskketcase! As always, I don't own any of these characters, though wish I did!**

**Chapter 6**

"**Change"**

**EPOV**

The next day all was fine at lunch. I had made the decision that I was going to overcome whatever it was with Samantha, I still didn't understand why I could only hear part of her thinking, and why her scent overpowered me so. When I walked into the cafeteria, I saw Alice and Samantha sitting at the table already with their lunches; Alice with her back to the door, and Samantha facing it. As I made my way to what is now known as our table, I noticed Samantha glance up at me, and then return her eyes to Alice with a hint of pink in her cheeks. I couldn't help but crack a bit of a smile as I heard a bit from her thoughts, _"……..see him….." _I quickly got my tray and met them at the table, sitting next to Alice and I joined a bit in on the conversation of the day, which happened to be Alice's planned shopping trip for the weekend. Knowing how much Alice wanted it, I did my best to convince Samantha to accompany her.

"Why don't you go with her Eddie?" Samantha turned my way and asked. I couldn't stand the name Eddie from anyone else, but I let her continue with it for some reason. This was the first time we had really spoken since the day we met. I took in a deep breath, which sent a little venom burning the back of my throat, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I was going to have to get used to this, so I might as well start now.

"Since we've moved here, I haven't had much of a choice but to be her shopping buddy," I said rolling my eyes fabricating the story, " but I actually have other plans." I said playing with the fries on my tray, ignoring the burning sensation in my throat. "You girls should go and have fun, make a day out of it. Alice says I ruin her fun and she hasn't had a good shopping trip since arriving. Besides, the credit card companies are starting to call wondering if she is still alive." Alice rolled her eyes and slapped me on the arm causing the three of us to chuckle.

"That's all so true Sam! I need a GIRL to go shopping with me." Alice chimed in, "Come on!! Plllleeeaaasseee????"

Samantha let out a sigh as she brought one of those disgusting fries to her mouth, "Fine! Fine! Just stop begging, I can't take it!!"

"Oh thank you Sam," Alice said reaching across the table to give her a hug, "I promise you won't regret it!"

Putting my hand to the right of my face pretending to keep Alice out of the comment, I said to Samantha, "Good luck with the evil shopping pixie!" Alice smacked me on my arm again and told me to shut up as we all laughed once more.

Suddenly Samantha turned to me and pointed her finger, "I have a feeling you'll owe me for getting you out of this shopping trip!" I sensed blood rushing to her face, looking at her; there was a hint of bush returning to her cheeks. I couldn't help but bring a crooked smile to my face again. I forgo t how much I missed blushing. I inhaled a deep breath to take in the scent. Somehow, it didn't hurt as much anymore.

**BPOV**

_Izzy,_

_OMG! I so wish I could call you right now!! Do you remember that guy I told you about the first day of school that I met in one of my famous incidents? (Aren't they always classic?) Anyway, I have since become really good friends with his sister, and the three of us eat lunch together everyday now. He is so freakin hot! I've never seen a guy here before THIS hot, he looks like he belongs on the west coast! His hair, his eyes, he is so nice too, like nobody I've ever met before! Anyway, I couldn't help it but I stole a quick glance at him as he was coming into the cafeteria, and I think he caught me, I was so embarrassed I wanted to die! Anyway, I'm going to be going shopping with his sister this weekend, so maybe I can get some info. I'm not holding my breath, and I'm sure he wouldn't be interested, but I would at least like to be friends with him. Any words of wisdom??_

_How is work going for you? Have you seen Jake lately? If so, tell him I say "Hi" and I miss the two of you. I can't wait until Christmas break!!!_

_Love,_

_Sam_

I couldn't help but sigh as I read the email from Sam. I missed her so much, but it was the right thing for her to do, finishing her senior year at home out east. I wasn't really in the best seat to be giving advice on crushes, so I sent back a short reply:

_Sam,_

_Sounds like you are enjoying your senior year. I hope you have fun shopping with your new friend! Work is going alright, tiring but I'll get used to it. Yes I have seen Jake, he came over just the other night to fix a chair of mine. I'll make sure I give him your message next time I talk to him. As you know, I don't have the best reputation in the relationship department, so I'll let you figure all that out on your own. I better go, I'll talk to you later!_

_Love,_

_Izzy_

After hitting send, I closed my computer and went into the living room to grade some papers. About fifteen minutes into the job, the phone rang and it was Jacob. We talked about the weekly happenings in Forks so I would be up-to-date as we did weekly. I gave him Sam's message and he said to tell her the same. We cut our conversation short that night because Jacob had to help his father with something, but we promised as always to talk the next week if not sooner. With a smile, I hung up the phone and went back to my task at hand.

**One Month Later…**

**Let me know what you think! The next bit is done so…**


	7. Chapter 7: Matchmaker

**Here is the next chapter and it's the longest one yet, so I hope you don't mind. I didn't want to break it up. Thank you for those of you who have reviewed, I truly appreciate it! So, of course I don't own any of this, and I hope you enjoy! **

**Chapter 7**

"**Matchmaker"**

**EPOV**

"This is going to be so fun!" I heard Alice shriek from her bedroom, "I can't wait Sam , you have to come! I have to go, I'll call you back later. Bye!"

As she approached my room, I could see a vision of her and I all dressed up. "What's going on Alice?" I asked as I finished up my work due the next day.

"Nothing, much." she said as she sat on the bed next to me. I was searching through her thoughts but still all I could see was the two of us dressed up.

"You seem to be getting along better with Sam huh?" she asked as she traced the pattern on my comforter, I knew she was up to something, I just couldn't put my finger on it yet. I simply nodded. The past month had gotten easier with her, but for some reason I still didn't totally trust myself to be around her for very long. Carlisle had looked into it, as had I, but we still couldn't come up with any reason she was having this effect on me, only one person had affected my abilities before. I still only saw part of Samantha's thoughts and with her eating lunch with us daily now, and Alice spending so much time with her, her scent wasn't as overpowering as it had first been. It was comfortable, or as comfortable as it gets.

"So….." Alice started before I decided I wasn't in the mood to play her game.

"What is it Alice?" I asked pushing the physics book I was using away from me to give her my full attention, "Just spit it out."

"Fine," she pouted, "Take all the fun out of it!"

I glared as she started, "So, I was just on the phone with Sam, and we were talking about homecoming."

I rolled my eyes. I hadn't been to any events like these since I took Bella to the prom so many years ago, and I wasn't going to start again.

"Just hear me out!" she pleaded, and then I could see the image in her head. Alice was dressed in a stylish yellow dress with her hair and make-up perfect as usual, and to her one side was Jasper dressed in a suit, with me in a suit next to him and Samantha was beside me. She was dressed in a forest green strapless dress with her hair pinned up in curls on her head.

"No!" I said starting to stand up.

"But…?" she started to say as she stood to meet me.

"I said no Alice, what part of no don't you understand?"

"But why not?" she asked, "It will be fun, I promise!"

I looked down at my sister, I loved her so much, and for her to give me such a hard time about this knowing how I feel about situations like this, there must be a good reason.

"Fine, spit it out," I said standing there with my arms crossed in front of my chest, "why Alice?"

"I feel bad," she said sitting down on the bed with her hands in her lap, "I was talking to Sam today about homecoming, and she said she wasn't going. Its her one and only senior year, she has to go!"

"And this involves me why?" I asked knowing full well what my part in her plan was.

"I figured we could go as a small group." she confessed staring straight ahead at the wall as the vision of the night entered her head, "I would bring Jasper so we could show those kids how its done, and I figured you could come too." I could see her slowly bringing her eyes up to see my reaction, though she must have known what it would be.

"Why me?" I asked.

"I knew you weren't going to be easy." she said letting out her breath and shaking her head, "Sam doesn't have a lot of friends, and I want her to go and come with us, I think she would have fun. You haven't had a night out in who knows how many years, and I figured since she was comfortable with you, and you seemed to be more comfortable around her you could come too and sort of be her date."

I stood silently for a moment as the visions sped through my head….the last time I had been at anything like this was with Bella…I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I painfully thought about her. We danced at the prom that night, and she so desperately wanted me to change her then and there so we could be together forever. It was all I could do to refused her she looked and smelled so lovely, and I wanted her to be with me forever. With the image of by beautiful Bella in my mind, a part of my cold, still heart was filled with love, the other was breaking apart. When I opened my eyes, I saw Alice standing in front of me with a smile spread across her face.

"I knew you would say yes." she said bouncing up and down then giving me a hug, "Thank you!"

I sighed and said, "I haven't agreed to it Alice."

"But you will." she said as she started out of my room.

"You know you'll have to formally ask her right?" she said as she was exiting, "And Samantha will thank you too."

My hands came to my face and I rubbed at my eyes as I asked myself, "What the hell did I just get into?" Knowing that there wasn't anything I could do about it now, I decided I was overdue for a hunt. Apparently, Alice saw that decision, and she was waiting for me at the bottom of the steps and we went off to find ourselves a herd of deer.

The next day at school, as always, I met up with Alice and Samantha at lunch. As I was approaching the doors, to the cafeteria, I heard Alice, "The dance is in two weeks Edward, and its Friday, you need to ask her today so we have enough time to get her a proper dress." I paused. It was as if my feet were planted in the cement floor until I heard Alice again, _"Don't chicken out Edward, get your ass in here. And don't worry, everything is going to be fine."_

Inhaling a deep breath, I found my way into the cafeteria. As always, the girls had their trays already, and I gathered mine and joined them. I could hear their conversation with my great sense of hearing as I made my way over:

"Alice, I don't know. Me…dancing…not such a good idea."

"Sam, I'm telling you, someone is going to ask you. I don't see how a girl like you hasn't been snagged up already!"

Samantha sighed, "Whatever Alice. I would care to wager you against that theory."

"Fine," Alice put down the piece of lettuce she was playing with and smiled, "I'll take that bet missy!"

"Oh dear lord Alice! You're hopeless you know that right? But you always seem to know what you're talking about."

I couldn't help but chuckle as I came upon the table.

"You two look like you're up to no good." I said as I gently placed my books on the table beside Alice.

"Me?" Alice asked batting her eyelashes, "Whatever!" Both girls chuckled as I sat down.

"Not eating today?" Samantha asked me as she took a bite from her pizza.

"No," I stated simply as I smiled, "Not hungry."

"Oh," she said taking a sip from her can of soda, "I wish I could say the same, I'm famished!"

"So," Alice began, "Any plans for the weekend dear Sam?"

"Nope," she said with a sigh as she sat back in her chair, "My car isn't working great, so I'm going to see if I can get someone to look at it this weekend, so I figure I'll spend most of the weekend at home."

"_Perfect!" _I heard Alice thinking and my head instinctively bounced in her direction. She continued talking to Samantha, "Did you know Edward here knows a little something about cars?" My jaw dropped a bit, I could now see what Alice was planning, but Samantha wasn't taking the bait so she continued, "I don't think we have any plans this weekend, maybe he could take a look at your car for you?"

My eyes moved to Samantha to see her reaction as Alice's shoe made contact with my leg, "I could take a look at it if you wanted?"

"No," she said shaking her head, "I couldn't ask you to do that. I'll find someone to look at it. I don't want to be a bother."

"No," Alice said, looking at me "Its no trouble, is it Edward?"

I paused for a moment looking at Alice before turning to Samantha and shaking my head, "No, no problem at all." Then I formed a slight smile on my face, "In fact, I still owe you one for that shopping trip with Alice don't I?" She chuckled which caused me to do the same.

"How about this?" Alice started to suggest, "After school, Edward can meet you at your car and drive you home, and then bring the car to the house to see what magic he can do with it. I'll drive the Volvo home, then when your car is ready, we'll drop it back off."

Samantha paused for a moment pondering the proposal, "Ummmm….I guess that would work," she looked at me, If that isn't too much trouble? I really don't have the money to take it to a mechanic, and it would be a huge help to me."

"Its settled then!" Alice said just before the bell rang, "Edward will meet you after school and get things taken care of."

"_You better ask her to homecoming, or don't bother coming home!" _Alice said. I couldn't help but sigh at the thought.

"Alright," Samantha said with a smile, "I'll see you after school Eddie."

"See you after school." I said with a nod of the head before we were all heading off in opposite directions. I hoped everything would be alright with me being alone with her. I still wish I could put my finger on what it was about her.

"I promise," Alice said walking to her next class," Everything will be fine, don't worry so much Edward!"

After school, I grabbed my things and headed out to the parking lot. Alice had apparently already left in the Volvo since the space was empty. I found my way to Samantha's car; it was an older model car, but that wasn't uncommon for high school students in this area. A few minutes later I saw Samantha making her way out of the building heading in my direction. Just as she was about five feet from her vehicle, she seemed to trip over her own two feet and I moved quickly, wrapping my hands around her to stop her from hitting the ground. _"Ahhh!" _was the thought I heard from her head. I didn't think I hurt her with my grasp. Once I knew she was steady on her feet, I quickly released her as she brushed herself off.

"Wow," she said with a chuckle, shaking her head and brushing herself off, "Thanks."

"No problem," I said with a smile, "You need to be more careful."

"Yeah," she said, "its the story of my life. And you better get a jacket!"

I turned my head to he side and squinted my eyes trying to figure out what she meant by that. She must have seen the wondering look on my face as she finished her thought. "You're so cold. You need to start wearing a jacket, its getting colder out."

I nodded. Little did she know that a jacket would make no difference, but I chuckled, "Thanks, I'll have to remember that."

We stood there an awkward moment as she pulled her bag up over her shoulder and I stuck my hands in the front pockets of my jeans before I said, "So, why don't I drive so I can feel what the car is doing, and you can explain what the problem is?"

"Sounds logical!" she said grabbing the keys out of her bag and tossing them to me as I made my way to the driver's side. I unlocked the doors as we both climbed in the car. After we both closed the doors, I inhaled her essence. It hurt, but not nearly as bad as I had expected it to. I quickly found the ignition and started to put the car in reverse as she stopped me, "Seatbelt?" I smiled and nodded as I found the useless piece of material and clicked the end into place before backing the car out and following her directions to her house. She seemed a bit uneasy.

"So you hear that?" she asked.

"Yeah I do." I said figuring out immediately what the problem was with the engine. I would take me merely seconds to fix once home, "I think I have an idea of what it is, but I won't be sure until I get under the hood."

"Oh," she said as she sat back seemingly more comfortable in the seat, "Ok. Just let me know how much any parts are and I'll pay you." I simply nodded in agreement; it was easier than arguing which I was pretty sure what would happen.

When we made our way the fairly short distance to her house, I pulled the car into the driveway and placed the car into park noticing that there seemed to be nobody else home.

"So," I said a bit nervously, as we both stared out the windshield, "I'll take a look at it when I get home and give you a call when I have an idea."

"Ok," she said with a nod of her head, and then she unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to me with a smile, "thanks again."

Inhaling another deep breath from the car, I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them as I saw her extending her hand towards the handle on the door.

"Samantha?" I asked which was followed by her immediate reaction of dropping the handle and whipping her head around to face me.

"Yes?"

"I…" I said as I turned in my seat to face her, "I was wondering what your plans were for homecoming?"

As blood rushed to her cheeks, I heard another snippet of her thoughts, _"….god…." _Not quite sure how to take that, my head dropped to my hands. Was that part of a good thought or a bad one?

"Um," she started, "I have none."

Knowing the answer to that already, my senses picked up on the acceleration of her heartbeat. My head immediately popped up to see her face which had a sort of pained look on it with a visible crease in her forehead.

"I was wondering then," I paused to look into her seemingly troubled eyes, "if you would want to accompany me to the school's homecoming?"

She inhaled a sharp breath, as her heartbeat seemed to speed up even more. I didn't know how much longer I could take this, it was all becoming too much for me. Just as that thought entered my head, my cell phone rang and we both looked at it. I saw immediately that it was Alice, so I quickly opened it.

"Yes?"

"Get out of the car." she stated.

"What?"

"Get out of the damn car for a minute."

Putting the phone against my shoulder with an apologetic look on my face, holding up my right index finger to her, I looked at Samantha, "I'm sorry, I have to take this. One moment please." With that, my hand quickly found the handle to the door, which was now acting as an emergency exit. Once out into the fresh air, I closed the door and noticed Samantha recomposing herself as I took a few steps away bringing the phone to my ear.

"Yes?"

"Better?" she asked.

With a sigh and roll of the eyes, I felt better, "Yes, thank you Alice."

"No problem," she said, "Do you have an answer yet?"

"No," I stated looking back at the car, as she seemed to sit there fiddling with the hem of her shirt, "I had just asked."

"Ok, you should be good now." she said and I could tell she was smiling on the other end before she closed her phone. Shaking my head, I closed my phone, returned it to my pocket and found my way back into the car.

"Everything alright?" she asked.

"Yes." I said. Then there was another awkward pause before I continued, "So , what do you think? About homecoming?"

"Oh," she said, the color returning to her cheeks as she pushed some hair behind her ear, "I already told Alice, dancing…not really my thing. You saw me today just trying to walk." We both chuckled as our eyes met, "And I know Alice put you up to this, I'm not stupid. You don't have to take me on a pity date, I'm sure there are tons of other girls you would like to take if you really want to go, and I know tons would love for you to ask them. I don't want you to be stuck with me."

Part of me would have been happy to just keep her thoughts there, I really had no desire to go, but to see her think of herself like that saddened me, it made me think of my Bella.

"No," I said trying to sound reassuring, "She's not putting me up to this." I was lying a bit, "I would really like to take you. Alice is going to be bringing Jasper and I think it would be fun." I brought a smile to my face to try to convince her. She looked down at her hands for a moment and then returned her gaze to me.

"I don't know," she said shyly as she shook her head returning her gaze to the hem of her shirt.

"I'm not taking no for an answer." I told her sternly, yet gently, "Now should I tell Alice the good news or shall I leave that to you? You know she's going to have to have an emergency shopping trip."

She looked directly up at me and chuckled, which brought a smile to my face; she had the cutest little laugh.

"I guess I will," she said looking up at me, "But I must apologize ahead of time for anything I might do to embarrass you."

"What could you possibly do to embarrass me?" I asked leaning back in the driver's seat with a small smile.

"…_trip….dance…feet…." _were the thoughts I heard, understanding her concern. "You don't want to know.," she said laughing as her head dropped yet again.

"Hey!" I said grabbing her attention again, "I don't care, and I won't let anything happen. I promise."

She smiled and then looked at her watch.

"Crap, I better head in. I guess I have a call to make." she said with an eye roll as she returned her hand to the handle on the door.

"I'll get your number from Alice and call you when I know what the problem is with the car alright?"

"Alright." she said opening the door, "And Eddie?"

"Yes?"

"If you change your mind about homecoming, no hard feelings, I will completely understand."

"I won't change my mind." I said confidently. She shook her head with a little laugh as she exited the vehicle then looked back with a smile before closing the door, "Thanks again."

"No problem." I stated as I watched her make her way to the front door. Once she was safely inside, I backed out and made my way home as quickly as her car would take me.

**Whew! I hope that wasn't too long for you to read! Please let me know what you think : )**

.


	8. Chapter 8: BDay

**Here is the next chapter! Sorry it took so long, between everything going on lately, it took a while, but I hope you enjoy! Please don't throw anything at me...**

**Thanks to Ledybug for helping me out with this chapter.**

**Chapter 8**

"**B-Day"**

"Jake, I'm pulling up to my apartment now. I promise I'll call you after I check alright? Bye."

After putting my phone in my purse**,**I grabbed my bag out of the empty seat beside me and made my way out of my car into my apartment building. I hated having to say good-bye to Jake so early, but I have so much work to do. Once in my apartment, I closed and locked the door behind me, plopping my bag and purse on the counter in the kitchen.

Inhaling a deep breath to help myself relax, I grabbed a familiar glass of wine from the fridge and then found my way to my computer to check my e-mail which I hadn't done for days. I had about two dozen messages awaiting me, but clicked automatically on the one from Sam.

_Izzy,_

_  
OMG, OMG, OMG! I so have to talk to you!! You'll never guess what happened. Do you remember that guy that I told you about before? Well, he asked me to go to homecoming! I couldn't believe it, and I didn't see it coming at all. I was talking to his sister Alice yesterday on the phone and was telling her about how I really had no interest in attending. You know how any Swan blood running through veins is hazardous when it comes to events like that. Anyway, I'm pretty sure she talked him into asking me, which I feel awful about. But, let me tell you how it happened!  
_

_I've been having some trouble with my car, and he offered to fix it for me. You know I couldn't refuse that offer with my lack of money. He drove me home in the car so that he could take it home to work on it, and he asked me in the driveway as we sat in the car. I told him I knew his sister was behind it and he didn't have to take me if he didn't want to, but he insists that he wants to. I hope I don't embarrass myself, I hope I don't embarrass him, forget about me!_

_  
Shit! Mom's calling me for dinner. I'll try to get time later to mail you. I wish you were here so I could talk to you about this!! Miss you!  
_

_Love,  
Sam_

Reading Samantha's email gave me mixed emotions. I remembered my high school days all too well. When I moved to Forks, he was my life. I wouldn't have gone to the prom if it wasn't for him. I wouldn't have done a lot of things if it wasn't for him…Edward. I allowed myself to think back to that night for the first time in years. Sitting there in my chair, I closed my eyes and remembered back to how it felt to be in his arms, feeling like a princess, feeling loved, wanting to be with him so badly. I was willing to make the ultimate decision that night to become like him so we could be together forever.

With a deep, relaxing breath, not allowing a single tear to fall, I opened my eyes and looked at the screen. I loved my cousin and didn't want her to make the same mistakes I had made in life. I was in love, and it was the most amazing feeling I have had in my entire life. The heartache after was the most excruciating pain I have ever gone through, and hopefully will ever go through, but the feeling of love I had from him outweighed it all. If she had a chance to find true with whoever this boy was, I wanted her to feel that joy. After I gathered my thoughts, I began typing.

_Sam,_

_  
This friend of yours, Alice, she seems like a great friend; it must come with the name. I had a great friend in high school with the same name and she sounds like the same sort of person. I'm glad you found each other.  
_

_And now for this boy. Congratulations! I take it you accepted and are going to go? It doesn't sound like your friend will let you out of it even if you wanted to. You will have a great time, I'm sure of it. Do you know what you are going to wear? I bet your mom is excited, and I bet you're happy your dad isn't in the area…LOL. I remember how Charlie was when I brought a boy home. He wasn't too thrilled, but he survived._

_  
Keep me updated, and I can't wait to see pictures! I would call you this weekend but I'm going to be busy with things and won't get a chance. I'm sorry! And anyway, I'm not exactly the person you would want to be consulting on issues like this. It sounds like your friend Alice has it under control anyway.  
Good luck and keep me updated! I can't wait to hear the details. Talk to you later and miss you!  
_

_Love,  
Izzy_

After hitting send, I couldn't help but think back to my Alice. She was something else, and for Sam's sake I hope her Alice isn't as crazy into shopping as mine was when it comes to this homecoming**.** I know it would drive Sam crazy, but I'm glad she has a friend.

I checked the rest of my e-mails and eventually turned the computer off and headed towards the kitchen to grab some leftovers from the fridge to warm up for dinner and then the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella, is everything alright?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, why?"

I heard a sigh on the other end, "You were supposed to call me."

"Oh crap!" I smacked my forehead with the palm of my hand, "I'm sorry, I got sidetracked."

"With what?"

"Made the mistake of checking my e-mail and there was one from Sam."

"Oh," he asked a little concerned, "is everything alright?"

"Yeah," I said reassuring him as I heard the microwave buzz, "everything is great. Hey Jake, I hate to cut you off, but my dinner is ready."

"Alright," he said, "But tell me, is your calendar clear to come up this weekend? You haven't been home for your birthday in years."

I looked at my calendar and saw it was clear. The thought of returning to Forks, this time of year especially, made my stomach churn, I don't think I could do it.

"Jake," I said as I pulled my dinner out of the microwave, "I'm sorry. I can't make it up this weekend."

I could hear the disappointment in Jake's voice as he asked, "Are you sure Bella? Its been so long, everyone can't wait to see you. I promise, there's no surprise party planned!"

I closed my eyes and inhaled before replying, "Yeah Jake, I'm sorry. I have some stuff here I just can't get out of."

I hated that I couldn't bring myself to go there, I would enjoy seeing everyone too, but I know I wouldn't be able to go through with it.

Disappointed he said, "OK then Bells. I'm coming down there, you're not spending your birthday alone."

"You don't have to do that Jake," I said fighting back the tears, "I'll see you soon, I promise."

After hanging up the phone, I sat and cried. It has been so many years since he left, and I still can't bring myself to return. How fair is that?

The next day…

EPOV

I picked up the phone and dialed the numbers Alice gave me, bringing it up to my ear and waiting patiently as it rang.

"Hello?" I heard from the other end.

"Ummm…hello?"

"Yes?" she asked and then I realized she didn't know who was calling.

"Sam, its me," I said, "It's Edward."

"Oh," she said sounding surprised, "Hi Eddie! Is everything alright? My car didn't die on the way to your house did it? That would just be my luck."

"No," I said unable to hold back a bit of laughter, "Quite the contrary actually, its fixed."  
"Its fixed?" she asked, "That fast?"

I waited until the next day to call her even though it took me about two minutes to fix the problem yesterday. "Yes, it wasn't anything really, I just needed to replace a few pieces and it's running as good as new."

"Wow," she said, "I don't know what to say Eddie. Thank you. How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing."

"No," she said, "How much do I owe you?"

Knowing from what she talked about yesterday she was short on money, so I laughed and said,

"Consider it part of my thank you for going shopping with Alice."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied, "I was wondering when you would like us to return it to you?"

"Um," she started, "anytime would be fine. I could get my mom to drive me to your house to pick it up if you would like, I don't want to inconvenience you anymore than I already have."

"Nonsense! Alice and I will bring it by in a little bit."

"Alright," she said, "I guess I'll see you in a bit then."

With that we said our good-byes and hung up, and I could hear Alice coming towards my room.  
"Perfect!" she said.

Raising an eyebrow I looked at her saying, "Be good!"

"I will. I'm just going to suggest we hit the sales in Concord tomorrow to find something to wear for homecoming."

"Alice," I said, "she doesn't seem to be the kind that will enjoy too many of your shopping trips, especially if it involves her being a human doll."

"She'll survive," Alice stated with a chuckle, "My visions are certain of that."

I couldn't help but give her a glaring look as I grabbed the keys to Samantha's car out of my pocket. Alice followed me down to the garage and followed me in my Volvo to Samantha's house.

As I pulled up to Samantha's house I saw her walking out the front door, closing it behind her. She had her caramel colored hair pulled back and she was wearing a sweatshirt to keep her warm.

"Wow," she said, "It sounds so much better."

Little did she know I gave it a tune-up, changed the fluids, and fixed a few things here and there. I thanked Rosalie for her help over the phone. "Yeah, it wasn't much."

She turned to me and smiled as Alice pulled up behind her car, and then she focused on Alice. "Crap, I bet she has a shopping trip planned already doesn't she?"

I put my hands up and smiled, "I can neither confirm or deny those assumptions."

After that, Samantha was laughing as the blood rushed to her cheeks causing her to blush. I inhaled a deep breath and then exhaled; It didn't hurt much anymore, especially outside.

"So, when are we going shopping?" Alice asked as she found her way next to us.

"I don't know," Samantha said, lowering her head and playing with her hair a bit, "I don't really have anything and I don't have a lot of money to…."

Alice stopped her right there, "Don't worry about money. My credit cards need to be exercised."

"I couldn't." Samantha said shaking her head.

"You can and you will," Alice stated, "Nobody has been able to get this brother of mine out of the house since we got here, so it's my gift to you!"

I shot Alice a look, which she returned back to me.

"There is no fighting with her," I said stepping in, "especially when it comes to shopping."

I could tell from her reaction that she wasn't happy, but she gave in, "Fine! I figured that you already had something planned, do you just want to fill me in on your plans?"

"Yes!" Alice said practically jumping up and down. Samantha looked at me with a glare in her eye as Alice gave her a hug, but after a minute it softened to a smile as she realized how much this meant to Alice.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8 AM! Be ready, wear comfortable shoes, and be prepared to find the perfect dress!"

It seems that Samantha figured out already that it wasn't worth it to try to fight Alice. She looked at me and said, "I sure hope you're happy with yourself." I gave her a questioning look and she said, "I don't get up at 8 AM on a Sunday for just anybody."

I mouthed the words, "I'm sorry" to her before I followed Alice to the car who was reminding her of the time.

"You'll see, she is going to be stunning!" Alice said as I started the Volvo to head home.

"She already is." I thought to myself.

BPOV

It was a day off. I didn't have to get out of bed, and I wasn't going to until I was ready to, and with it being my birthday**,** I didn't see it happening anytime soon. I waited as long as I could, but when I finally had to get up and use the bathroom, I made my way out into the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker, and immediately retreated to the comfort of the sofa and wrapped myself in a soft blanket as I grabbed the remote off of the table. With a sigh, I flipped through the channels. If this year was like any of the past couple of years, I would be lucky enough to drown my sorrows in some sad love movies.

There is one day each year that I allow myself to think back to that day as a whole, the day that seemed to change my life forever, and that day is my birthday. I was never fond of celebrating them in the first place, and since he left because of something that happened on my birthday I figured it was the perfect day. As I flipped through the channels I bit at my lower lip remembering him. Edward was the most beautiful man. I loved him so much, I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him. I begged him to change me so it was possible, but he refused. My eyes closed as I thought of him. I always felt so safe with his arms around me, and I haven't felt that safe since. I always felt so loved when he was with me, and I haven't felt that loved since. I always felt complete with him, and I haven't felt complete since.

I heard the coffee maker stop, so I slowly uncovered myself from the blanket and walked over to pour myself a cup of coffee, and then slowly walked back to curl up with the mug of warmth. As I continued flipping through the channels, I came across The Notebook. As I watched the scenes where he realized she wasn't coming back to him the tears started to flow. I ran in my stocking feet to the bathroom and grabbed the tissues. When she returned to him and things started to look up, I couldn't take it, I switched the channel until I found something else. Eventually I stumbled upon Titanic. I watched through tears as Jack and Rose fell in love against the odds, and he selflessly allowed himself to die in order for Rose to live. The worst tears flowed when Rose said good-bye to Jack and pushed him into the freezing water. I envied her a bit, at least she was able to say good-bye. I could just stand there as Edward walked away.

At that point after watching the parts of the two movies I needed something to eat. I made my way to the fridge as the tears started to flow and eyed the bottle of wine sitting there. It was too early, but I wanted to drown my misery in it so badly, but I was able to refuse myself. I knew I would need it more later. I decided to just grab a yogurt and down it quickly to get back to my day of loathing.

Looking at the clock, it was just about noon. I bit my upper lip as I thought about how much of the day I had ahead of me. Just then, the phone rang and I saw it was Charlie. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, but if I didn't answer they would be worried. I picked it up and after he wished me a happy birthday, we politely chatted for a few minutes and then I hung up the phone. Seconds after I hung up, it rang again. This time it was Renee. I had the same polite exchange of words with her and at that point my cell phone rang. I walked over to my purse and pulled it out of my pocket and sighed when I saw it was Jacob.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bells, happy birthday!" he said.

"Thanks." I said without an ounce of enthusiasm.

"Hey, do me a favor huh?"

"I'm not in the mood Jacob." I said as I ran my fingers through my hair and looked around for something to tie it back with.

"Come on, humor me alright?"

Finding an elastic band on the table my lamp was sitting on, I held the phone between my face and shoulder as I tied it up, "What Jake?"

"Open your door."

"What?"

"Open your door."

"Why?"

"Damn it Bella, don't be so stubborn, open the door."

"Fine." I huffed as found my way to the door, unlocked it and then turned the knob starting to say..."There...." When my eyes looked up, I saw Jacob standing there with a smile on his face and his hands behind his back.

"Jake?" I asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Come on Bells," he said sadly, "I'm your best friend, I know how you celebrate your birthday."

My face lowered and a few tears started to fall. He did know, he had helped me through the last several birthdays so that Charlie and Renee didn't know. When I looked up with tears starting to run down my face, he pulled his hand out from behind his back revealing a bottle of wine in one hand, and a six-pack of beer in the other as he said, "Come on, lets celebrate your birthday."

Once Jake was in my apartment, I locked the door behind him as he made his way to the fridge.

"What are we watching?" he asked as he found the sofa and grabbed the remote.

As I made my way back to the sofa, I curled up on the edge next to Jacob and he wrapped the blanket around me along with his arm as I whispered to him, "Thank you."

"No problem Bells." Just then, as he flipped through the upper channels he came across Romeo and Juliet. When the memory of Edward and I sitting and watching the same movie that night flooded my memory I totally broke down. Before I knew it, Jacob had me wrapped in his arms and was gently rocking me, trying to comfort me. After I settled down, he left me long enough to pour me a glass of wine, and open himself a beer before making his way back to my side. With my glass in my hand and his bottle in his he proposed his usual toast, "Happy Birthday Bella. I hope next year is easier."

Through the rest of the afternoon we finished our beverages, ordered dinner in and continued to watch sad love stories on TV. Jacob spent the night on the sofa after he helped me find my way back to my bed. Just like every other year, Jacob would leave in the morning after breakfast once he knew I was alright, and I would continue to block the memories for exactly one year. At least last year's wish came true, this year was a bit easier than last, and it would be one more year until I had to face another September 13th.

**I've received several PM's with your thoughts...let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9: Homecoming

**So here is the next update...I hope nobody is ready to shoot me yet...all I ask for is some _patience _**while the pieces of the puzzle start to fall together : ) Thanks to Ledybug for editing this chapter! I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 9**

**Homecoming**

**EPOV**

It was finally here, the social event Alice has been looking forward to for what seems to be ages, and I have been mostly dreading. I was driving the Volvo with Jasper accompanying me; our jackets hanging on the back of our seats to make sure they still look presentable, Alice's demands. We were both wearing our traditional black tuxedos and were on our way to pick up the girls at Samantha's house. Alice had deemed it necessary that she and Samantha get ready together, insisting that it was a girl thing. I personally think she just was in need of a new human Barbie, but there was no talking Alice out of something like this when she had her mind made up.

"_Are you alright?"_ Jasper asked silently looking out the window. I realized he must be feeling the tension and anxiety from me.

"Yes," I said gripping the steering wheel tighter, "Thanks." Alice keeps telling me that everything goes fine, and I trust her. I just wish I knew why fate did this to me.

I slowly turned into the driveway, and Jasper and I opened our doors, found our jackets and put them on as we walked towards the front door.

"_You're late! And don't forget the flowers!"_ I heard Alice thinking as we approached the house. I couldn't help but smile and shake my head as I knocked on the door looking down at the clear plastic box containing a small arrangement of flowers. As I heard footsteps, we both stood there and buttoned our jackets and adjusted our cuffs to look presentable and waited for the door to open.

As it did, I saw a woman who looked just like Samantha with a smile on her face, "Hello!" she said looking at me, "You must be Eddie, and you must be Jasper." We both nodded and accepted her invitation to come in.

"You two can go sit down and relax," she told us, "those two have been up there forever, I don't see any reason they shouldn't be ready by now. I'll let them know you're here."

Jasper and I moved into the living room and stood waiting for the girls. If we knew Alice they were done and ready for some grand entrance. Looking around the room, I didn't see many photos but from the few I saw it looked like Samantha had a very loving family.

"Here they come!" her mother said as she made her way down he stairs with her camera. Before I knew it, the flash was going off as Alice made her way down the stairs. With her usual smile on her face, and hair and make-up done perfectly, she gracefully made he way down in her short yellow dress. She grabbed Jasper's hand, gave him a quick kiss after which Jasper gave her a traditional corsage of her favorite flowers. They both know its considered old fashioned these days, but she always loved slipping that small bouquet of flowers on her wrist. After another quick kiss, she then turned around looking up the staircase and yelled, "Come on Sam...we're waiting!"

We all looked up when we heard the door open and saw the light go out. "I'm going to kill myself coming down the stairs in these Alice!" was all we heard before the footsteps headed towards the stairs.

"You'll be fine. Come on!" Alice replied with a huge smile on her face barely able to keep her excitement contained.

As she made her way down the stairs and my memory flashed back to the last event like this I was at. For a moment, as Bella's mother flashed pictures like they were going out of style, my eyes deceived me and I saw my Bella walking down the stairs. My mind hadn't played tricks like these on me in ages. Seeing the look on my face, Alice ran her hand on my arm, bringing me out of my memories by saying, "I told you that you would make it down the stairs alright Sam!"

Hearing her name snapped me out of it immediately and my eyes found their way to her standing practically in front of me. I smiled and was amazed by her beauty, but interrupted by her mother.

"Crap!" she said looking at her camera.

"What mom?" Samantha's attention turned to her mother as she pushed some of her hair behind her ear.

"I'm out of film!" she said looking at it like it was the camera's fault, "I don't have anymore and I didn't even get any of you and Eddie!"

Samantha's eyes rolled, "Mom, that's what you get for not being part of the technological age and having a digital camera!"

"Its alright," Alice chimed in, "I'm sure that they will have pictures taken there that we can purchase."

"_Lovely,"_ Samantha sighed silently with an eye roll, and then returned her eyes to me. I couldn't believe the resemblance to my Bella, or was it my mind and eyes deceiving me once again? Her brown hair was flowing over her shoulders with such a slight wave, her brown eyes were sparkling and her pale skin looked so lovely against the forest green dress she was wearing.

"You look beautiful," I told her as we just stared at each other for a moment before she replied with a blush to her cheeks, "Thank you. You look great too." After a few more moments of just staring at each other, I remembered the box I was holding in my hand.

"Oh," I said fumbling with the box a bit, "I got this for you." Her mother gasped a bit and she smiled as I opened the box and pulled out the small bouquet of flowers attached to the elastic band. "I know its old fashioned..." I started before she interrupted me, "Yes it is old fashioned, but they are beautiful," she held out her hand for me to put it on her wrist, "and I love the idea. Thank you." After they were on her wrist, I closed my eyes for a moment and inhaled that scent. As I felt the venom slip down my throat with a faint burn I swallowed and my eyes opened.

"So are we ready to go?" Alice asked practically jumping out of her skin.

"I guess so," I said. Samantha kissed her mother good-bye and I promised to keep her safe and have her home shortly after the event ended. Jasper led Alice out to the car as I extended my elbow to Samantha to escort her to the awaiting car. Once there, Jasper and Alice found their way into the back seat, so I walked Samantha around to the passenger side and closed the door after she was safely in, and found my way into the driver's seat. After we were all buckled in, I looked out the rear-view mirror seeing Alice smiling, backed out, and we made our way to the school.

**BPOV**

I looked at the clock and quickly calculated the time difference to the East coast and decided to pick up the phone. I wasn't sure if Sam would have left yet or not since I hadn't heard from her too much lately, and that included the details of the evening she had planned with this Eddie guy.

I started walking around my apartment, then after a couple of rings there was an answer.

"Hello?"

"Hello?" I replied.

"Hey Bella, how are you?"

"Good, good, and you?"

She sighed, "Watching my baby grow up. Feeling old. Not ready for her to grow up. You get the drift."

I couldn't help but laugh. Even though she divorced my uncle years ago, we still got along pretty well. "I'm sorry. I know its not the same, but its hard for me to think of my little cousin going off to her senior homecoming."

"I bet."

"By the way, is she there?"

"No Bells, sorry. You just missed them. She and Eddie and their friends left about fifteen minutes ago."

"Oh," I said sorry I had missed them, "Was she excited? How did she look? Is this Eddie cute?"

"You know her, I know she was excited, but she wasn't going to show it. She looked beautiful! Her friend Alice did her hair, make-up and even let her borrow a dress or something, I honestly have no idea where the dress came from."

"You'll have to send me some pictures when you get them!" I said, "I can't wait to see this Eddie she talks so much about."

"He's cute Bella," she said, "not the type I would picture with her at all, but I can't complain. He seemed to be very responsible, mature and seems to really like her."

"Good," I said sitting on my sofa, "she deserves someone good."

"Yeah," she replied, "about the pictures, my camera ran out of film and I have plenty of her, but none of them together."

I knew she lived in another time, but seriously, film? "I'm sure there will be some of them together, I'll send them if I get them."

"Alright," I said, "I better get going, tell Sam I called alright? I can't wait to see her at Christmas break."

"I bet, we'll talk to you again soon!"

We said our good-byes and after I hung up I tossed my phone on the coffee table and found my way to my bedroom, picking up my latest book off of the table on the way.

**EPOV**

When we arrived at the school, I helped Samantha out of the car, and she stood and waited with Alice and Jasper as I went to park the car. When I returned, I couldn't help but hear bits and pieces from her; "_...can't believe....stupid shoes...here he...."_

Bringing a smile to my face at the sight of blood rushing to her cheeks I asked, "So are we ready?" Alice and Jasper lead the way in as we followed arm in arm, and I could feel her shaking.

"Are you alright?" I leaned in and whispered cautiously, "You're shaking like a leaf."

"Yeah," she said quietly, "I'm just nervous."

Curious as to why, I wasn't sure whether I should pry or not, and then she started to spout, "Its just I've never been to anything like this before, and this dress Alice has me in and these shoes..." she paused for a moment with a sigh, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to complain. I just talk and talk and talk when I'm nervous. I'm sorry."

"You're doing fine." I lean in to reassure her as I gently rub her arm. That seems to help calm her down a bit. We made our way into the gym and the music was blaring out the door. The music wasn't to my liking, but it was what the kids today were into, so I had to live with it. She seemed very out of place here too as we watched Alice and Jasper on the dance floor impressing all the other students.

"So you want to go outside?" I asked and she quickly agreed. When we got out there, we found a small bench to sit on and she started to apologize again, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for now?" I asked.

"I'm ruining your evening." she said looking up at me with sadness in her eyes, "I knew this wasn't a good idea." I gave her a questioning look and she continued, "I hate dancing, and I'm no good at it."

Now I understood completely. I leaned closer to her ear as she was not looking down playing with the hem of her dress, "To tell you the truth, I don't much care for this music either. I'm more into the slow stuff."

"Even then," she said shaking her head, "I'm still awful."

I placed my finger gently under her chin and pulled it up so I could see into her eyes, and I knew immediately I made a mistake by the chill that ran down her from my cold finger against her warm skin, "I promised you everything would be OK, and it will be." It was then that I heard the music slow down. I grabbed Samantha's hand and brought her back into the gym because I knew she had to be getting cold. Not knowing the name of the song that was playing, but just being happy that it was slow, I grabbed her in my arms and helped glide her in our small area, swaying to the tempo of the music. She seemed to be happy, and I was surprisingly so also.

We spent most of the rest of the evening sitting in the back corner talking during unless we were dancing together during a slow song. I could tell from Alice's thoughts she was very happy with the progress, but was ready to go.

"What do you think?" I asked as the song we were dancing to came to an end, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," she said a bit nervously, "I guess so."

Alice and Jasper made their way over to us and confirmed it was time, and we found our way to the car. Everyone was pretty quiet which made it easy to hear some of her thoughts which explained why she was so quiet; "_...great time...can't believe...danced...hot...oh my god...kiss?"_

After I placed the car in park, I told Alice and Jasper I would be right back, and then I found my way over to the passenger side to help Samantha out. She said good-bye to them and we made our way, arm in arm, to her front door. When we got on the front step, the sensor light came on upon us. I looked deep into her eyes as that familiar blush rose in her cheeks and she looked down.

"I had an amazing time tonight." I told her.

"I did too. Thanks for taking me."

"It was my pleasure." I said with a smile.

She looked up nervously at me as I leaned in, and whispered in her ear, "I told you I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

As I pulled back I saw a small smile on her face which meant that she was more comfortable. Knowing she felt that way, I grabbed her hand which had flowers on her wrist and brought it to my lips and gave it a soft kiss.

"I'll see you at school on Monday?" I asked.

She nodded with the smile still on her face.

"I need to make sure you are safely inside before I can go," I told her. With that, she pulled a small silver key out of her purse and placed it in the lock, turning it gently.

"Thanks again," she said just before opening the door and taking a step inside, closing the door behind her.

I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath and then turned to return to the car with Alice and Jasper awaiting so we could head home, we all needed to hunt.

____________________________________

**So there ya have it, I hope you aren't trying to throw something at me! Thanks for all the PM's, let me know what you're thinking! Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10: Going Home

**Here's another short update...hopefully it will make some of you happy! Thanks again to Ledybug for looking this over for me...enjoy!**

**Chapter 10**

**Going Home**

**3 months later in December...**

**BPOV**

I sat there partially in a daze as everything was happening around me. The past four months had flown by faster than I ever imagined that they would. I started my first real teaching job in August, and now it was December. As I sat there, I could hear everything going on; the children singing, parents laughing and clapping and I had a smile plastered on my face. It was the evening of my students' holiday program at school and I think I was just as proud as their parents. We had all made a lot of progress in that classroom and I was thrilled, but I was tired, exhausted is probably a better word. I'm ready for the winter break that is going to start as soon as I leave this auditorium. Three solid weeks of vacation time...no grading papers, no having to deal with annoying parents, and no alarm clock. The thought of that last item just brought a bigger smile to my face.

On a personal level, I think I am happier than I have been in years. I feel that my life finally has some meaning, besides making sure Charlie takes care of himself. Besides my work, I have been out on a couple of dates which friends of mine from work set me up on. Nobody really stood out as "the one", but I did make some new friends in the process, one of which I am to be meeting in about forty-five minutes.

Before I knew it, the children were on stage bowing as the audience roared with applause. The music teacher called all of the kindergarten and first grade teachers on stage to thank us for our time and that was it. I did my best to not show my excitement for the evening coming to an end as it seemed to drag on as we all wished one another a happy holiday and relaxing break.

Once I was finished with my farewells, I grabbed my purse and bolted for the doorway and found my car. When I was safely inside I locked my doors, placed my keys in the ignition and turned on my cell phone to see one voice mail from Jason.

"_Hey! I'm probably going to be running a couple of minutes late. If you get there before me, just grab us a table and I promise I'll get there as soon as I can. Thanks!"_

I looked at the clock on my dashboard and realized we would probably get there about the same time. I carefully backed out of the parking lot, and drove off to the restaurant. When I got there he hadn't arrived yet, so I got us a table for two and selected my drink from the menu as I waited. No more than five minutes later I spied him as he came through the doors, and he caught me waving to him and made his way over.

"Hey Bella," he said, "Sorry I'm late!" He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek before sitting down.

"No problem," I said taking a sip from my wine glass, "I just got here a few minutes ago."

He ordered a beer before we both ordered our dinners. As we waited for our meals we chatted about our days and compared crazy stories. Jason works at a local attorney's office and we just can't help but laugh at some of the things that happen. With Jason I feel safe, I can have a good time and relax. We set the boundaries that he knows, at least right now, I just want to be friends. I think that he has the impression I just came out of a relationship gone bad and is trying to be patient, and I am thankful he never asks for any details.

After our meal, Jason suggests that we see a movie, but I'm ready to go home, so I invite him over if he's interested to watch something. He accepts the offer and runs home first to change into more comfortable clothes than his suit and meets me back at my apartment. When he arrives, I'm dressed in my comfortable sweats and college t-shirt and he is in a pair of jeans with a black t-shirt. With a movie in his hand, he makes his way over to my DVD player and carefully places it in the machine.

"Whatcha bring?" I asked as I poured myself another glass of wine and grabbed him a beer from the fridge, making my way into the living room.

"I know you're not into the regular chick-flick romances," he correctly stated, "So I grabbed one I just got from Netflix. Its called Dead End."

I fluffed it off and sat on the sofa where Jason plopped down next to me and we shared a blanket. It wasn't until the opening scene that I realized what movie it was he brought; it was the movie Jessica and I had gone to see in Port Angeles after Charlie told me I had to get out and start living again after he left. I closed my eyes and pushed the memory far into a part of my brain that I didn't access anymore. After I was successful at pushing the memory away, I was able to sit through the movie with Jason. When it was over, being the gentleman he was, he grabbed the movie out of the player and then grabbed his empty beer bottles and tossed them in the recycle bin before making his way to the door.

"OK Bella," he said, "Good night! And don't sleep in until noon since you don't have to get up!" We both chuckled.

"I'll do whatever I want!" I said laughing, coming out from the kitchen, "Thanks, tonight was fun."

"Yeah," he said with a smile, looking down at the floor, then looking up at me, "well, call if you want to get together again since you don't have any school nights for a while, good-night!"

"My cousin Sam and her boyfriend are coming into town this week," I said, "So I'll probably be spending a lot of time with them, but we'll do something before Christmas for sure!"

"Alright Bells," he said again with a smile and chuckle, "Keep New Year's open for me!"

"Alright," I laughed with my hand on the door ready to close it behind him, "Good night and drive safe!"

When he was gone, I closed the door behind him and locked it carefully, and then made my way to my bed. I was ready to start my well deserved vacation.

**EPOV**

I sat there partially in a daze as everything was happening around me. The past four months had flown by faster than I ever imagined that they would. Since starting over again out East, and meeting Samantha, time has moved faster for me than it has in years, since my Bella. Things between us progressed as I never imagined they would have. Bella was my singer, there is no doubt that nobody could replace her, but I grew to highly enjoy my time with Samantha. When Alice shared some of her visions with me, I would have never believed her if I hadn't known my sister. Since the homecoming dance, Samantha and I grew closer and closer. She moved into a small section of my dead heart which had previously been totally occupied by my Bella. I have no idea when it happened, or how, but it did. I have not shared my secret with her, though some of my lies I know are wearing thin. For some reason she undeservedly trusts me.

We have hardly shared intimate moments with each other, I am not ready for that again yet. At times I will casually kiss her on her hand or forehead, and she does the same, but we have gone no further. I can sense that she is getting frustrated, but I am honestly not over my Bella yet and still feel as if I am cheating on her with another woman. I am hopeful that in another hundred years or so and I will not have that feeling anymore, but I am not counting on it. I never plan on being that happy with my life again.

Since we spent just about every day after school studying together, (I couldn't stand to see her struggling with physics, I had to step in and offer my assistance), she asked me to join her family for their Thanksgiving celebration. Of course I thanked her but declined. She had no idea that I did not eat the food that would be provided, so I offered her the excuse that my family and I would be out of town that day which she accepted. I hate lying, but there is no other way around it.

It was after those five days apart during the Thanksgiving long weekend from school that I was surprised. Alice told me with a smile just before I was off to class to expect a surprise. Having no idea what she was suggesting, I prepared myself.

"Hey Eddie!" Samantha said as she brought her tray over to our usual lunch table.

"Hey!" I said playing with some of the food on my plate after I placed a kiss upon the top of her head, "How are you today?"

"I'm alright," she said, obviously bothered by something. Searching her mind all I heard were again, bits and pieces, "_Should....ask....",_ she looked up at me with a little smile and blood rushing to her cheeks, "_no...dad...ugh!"_

"Something on your mind?" I asked with my own smile, knowing there was.

"Yeah," she said with a sigh as she plopped all the food down on her plate, bringing her eyes to mine, "I was thinking..."

I now sit here, next to her on a plane heading out West to meet her father and her cousin Izzy whom she considers her sister. As I look over at her she is fast asleep with her iPod playing in her ears as I am reading to try to pass the few hours that the flight will last. I agreed to accompany her on this trip under the conditions that I purchase my own airline ticket (she insisted on purchasing her own), stay in a hotel by myself and I was going to visit some family of mine out there. Of course I made up that last part, and I figure I'll find something to do so that Samantha can have some alone time with her family.

As the plane started its final approach for landing, Samantha began to wake up.

"How long have I been out?" she asked with a yawn as she stretched beside me.

"About two hours." I said closing my book and carefully placing it in the seat pocket in front of me.

"Wow," she said, "I'm sorry. I should have warned you that when it comes to traveling, I tend to sleep in a moving vehicle."

"No problem," I said with a smile, "I'll need you to stay awake though to tell me how to get wherever we're going once we're on the ground."

"That shouldn't be an issue," she said bringing her chair back to its upright position, "I think I napped enough."

"Good!" I said, "Now I can only hope they have a nice car for us."

She laughed, "I'm sure it isn't a Volvo, Mercedes or BMW, but I'm sure whatever they have will do."

I chuckled and nodded in agreement and then rested the back of my head on the headrest waiting for the plane to land. When we were just about to touch down there was some turbulence and Samantha grabbed my hand as she positioned herself the same as me and closed her eyes. I ran my thumb over the back of her hand and she seemed to calm down instantly; she was now home.

**So, what do you think? Thanks for all the comments!**


	11. Chapter 11: Eddie meets Izzy

**For anyone who has been waiting for this update, I apologize it has taken so long! To say life has gotten a little chaotic the past few months would be an understatement. It isn't much of an update, but its the beginning of what you have been waiting for...but please don't kill me with the ending!! And as always, I don't own any of these characters, though I wish I did...and thanks Ledybug!**

**Chapter 11 **

**Eddie meets Izzy**

**EPOV**

Once our flight landed into the tiny airport of Eureka, California, we waited for the rest of the passengers to disembark the plane. She decided to have us fly into there since it was the mid-point airport between her father and cousin; the two people she was coming to visit. I knew Samantha was overly anxious because as I sat in my seat next to her looking forward, I could see her knee bobbing up and down as she continually sighed as she waited.

"I promise," I said placing a hand on her knee as I looked over to try to calm her, "once everyone is off the plane it will be much easier for us to get out. Its not worth fighting everyone for a few seconds." She smiled, and I couldn't help but return the smile, though I wish I could read her thoughts to know exactly what was making her so nervous, but at the moment she was a blank.

It wasn't long before everyone had gotten off the plane and it was time for us to gather our things and head out. We both just brought carry-on luggage so we wouldn't have to worry about anything getting lost, so I grabbed them out of the overhead bin one at a time and let Samantha lead the way. We quickly made our way to the rental car station where I picked up the keys to our car. Before heading outside, we both put our coats on in preparation for the cold weather as I saw Samantha make a quick call.

"Its not a Volvo," I said with a chuckle as we found or way to the little Ford awaiting us, "but I guess it will do." I carefully opened the trunk of the car and placed our luggage in the back and then headed to the front, opening the driver's side door to enter.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive since I already know the way?" she asked. I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. It would probably take us twice as long to get there with her driving since I've noticed she doesn't have the best sense of direction.

"That's alright," I said as I turned on the ignition to get the heater going for her, "I got us a GPS so we can't get lost, and I'm sure you don't want to be tired when you see your cousin."

"Yeah," she said with a genuine smile on her face as she finished fastening her seat belt and then warming her hands in front of the heat vents, "I can't wait. She's been like a sister to me and I've missed her so much."

I could tell this was true, but I heard her talk more about her cousin Izzy than her own father, and she hasn't seen them for the same amount of time. I tucked that thought into my memory to figure out why. Maybe I would pick up on somethings once we visit him.

The plan was simple, we were going to spend a few days with her cousin in NW California, and then drive south a bit to visit her father for the remainder of the trip. I had hotel reservations in both places so that Samantha could stay with her family and I wouldn't disturb them...that's the last thing I wanted to do. The drive was supposed to take a little over 2 hours according to the GPS, but I knew I could make it in less time. I turned on the radio and listened to her confirm the directions on the GPS, and then she sat back and relaxed as best as she could while looking out the window at the green scenery.

"Isn't it beautiful out here?" she asked.

I looked around, and it reminded me of only one place, Forks. "Its alright," I said glancing over at her for a moment while I kept driving, "it is awfully green." She couldn't help but laugh at that, as did I.

"Take this exit." Samantha told me as we came upon an exit ramp.

"Why? Is everything alright?" I questioned as I looked over to see if anything was wrong and confirming with the GPS we were supposed to continue straight.

"No!" she said, which caused me to panic. When she saw my face, she started to laugh.

"What's wrong?" I asked again as I turned the signal on to take the exit ramp, "Are you alright?"

She laughed again, "Are you not human?" she asked, which caused me to just glare at her in fear for a moment before she continued with her laughter, "I have to pee something awful, AND I'm starving!"

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth as I realized that was it, but I couldn't believe I had forgotten her human needs. "Sorry," I said as I pulled into an In-N-Out Burger, "I guess that medicine that I took to keep me from getting airsick effects my body." I was beginning to run out of excuses, but she seemed to believe this one, thankfully. After pulling into a parking spot, I put the car into park and turned off the ignition. She quickly opened the door and sprinted to the restaurant as she yelled, "I'll meet you inside!"

I locked up the car and headed inside. To help with my story, I quickly grabbed a burger wrapper from the trash and held it in my hand. When she exited the restroom, she found her way over to me asking what I wanted her to order me.

"I'm good," I said holding up the burger wrapper, then tossing it again in the trash, "but thanks!"

"Wow," she said with a chuckle, "when you're hungry, you sure are hungry!" She then went up to the counter and ordered her meal as I took my turn in the restroom. While in the empty room, I simply looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I would look presentable in the next hour to her family, then exited finding her taking a sip from her drink, ready to head back to the car.

This time I made my way to the passenger's side door to open it for her so she could safely enter. After closing the door, I made my way at human speed to my side and quickly pulled out of the parking space and put the car into drive. There was an hour left of the trip and during that time Samantha ate her meal from the restaurant, and talked up a storm as she continued to give me directions.

"You're just going to take this exit," she said about an hour later, pointing to the right, "and then at the end of the ramp, take a left, and the apartment complex is just down the street."

"You sound like you've done this a million times," I suggested as I turned my signal on and took the exit ramp. Once at the end, I took the left as she had instructed. About half a mile down the road, I turned into what looked like a nice apartment complex and parked at the building Samantha directed me to.

"So this is it." she said like the giddy teenager she was, "Izzy is the closest thing to a sister I have."

"I promise I'll behave," I told her with a smile as I brushed the tips of my fingers over her cheeks. That always seemed to help settle her down. I knew though that after I left them for the evening I would have to go hunt, there was something in the air and I had to remain in control of myself.

I made my way out of the car and around to open Samantha's door as she gathered her purse. Once she was safely out, I closed the door behind her and she grabbed my hand as we started in the building. I noted strike one against the building; its lack of security. Apparently you couldn't even screen your guests until they got to the door. Letting that thought pass, I let her lead me into the building.

"Oh crap!" she said slapping the palm of her hand against her forehead.

"What?" I asked, wondering what she could have forgotten in this moment she had been planning for weeks now.

"I had a present for Izzy in my bag that I wanted to give her when she opened the door," she stated.

"Its alright," I said, "Let me know where it is and I'll get it, then meet you at the apartment, that way you girls have a few minutes." I winked at her with the smile she always seemed to like and she blushed. She told me where it was, she gave me the apartment number and I headed out to the car as she raced up the stairs.

**BPOV**

I don't know what else I could straighten up. I've cleaned the bathroom twice, my bedroom is spotless (for once), the living room is as good as it ever gets and I have dinner cooking in the kitchen. There isn't much to do but wait. Samantha had called me from the airport as her boyfriend was getting their rental car. I'm ecstatic that she's coming to visit me first, but know that the time will go quickly. Looking at the clock on my DVD player and the traffic outside, I know that she should be arriving any second.

Just as I have that thought, there is a knock at the door. I run over to answer it and there she is!

"Oh my God!" I say with my arms extended, "You have no idea how good it is to see you!" I wrapped my arms around her in what must seem like a bear hug, as she does the same. She had no idea how good it was to see her.

"So, where is he?" I asked as I walked her into my apartment.

**EPOV**

I made my way downstairs and quickly opened the trunk of the car and located the gift that Samantha had asked me to get for her. From the weight and size of the box, I assumed it was a piece of jewelry. I quickly closed the trunk and then headed back into the building. As I did so I reached into my pocket and felt my cell phone and realized I never turned it on, so I did.

While walking up the stairs to Izzy's second floor apartment I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out and noticed I had several text messages from Alice. As I opened the door to the correct hallway, I looked at the last one that told me to call her as soon as I landed. After reading the text, I realized I was standing in front of the apartment I was looking for, but knowing it would be rude to knock on a stranger's door while on the phone, I decided to quickly call her before I announced my presence, so I dialed her number and placed the phone to my ear as I stood with my back to the apartment door.

**BPOV**

"He'll be up any second, I forgot something in the car and he offered to grab it for me." Samantha told me in response to my question about her Eddie.

"Let me open the door, so you can listen for him. Everyone seems to walk past this apartment when they're looking for it," I told her.

**EPOV**

"Alice? Its me, sorry. I forgot to turn my phone on." I explained.

"Edward," Alice said, "Have you arrived at the apartment yet?"

"Yes," I stated, and then I heard a door open behind me and I turned around asking, "why?"

That's when it happened. As I turned towards the opening door the scent hit me like a ton of bricks. I closed my eyes and inhaled, savoring the flavor which I had loved yet left so long ago.

Apparently sensing what was happening Alice continued, "Edward!" she screamed in my ear over the phone, apparently knowing exactly what was happening, "Get out of there. Now! Go! Run!"

**BPOV**

When I opened the door, I saw a man standing on the other side of it talking on the phone and I wondered how long he had been standing there. Just as I was about to ask if he was Eddie looking for my apartment, he slowly turned around.

When he did, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Could it really be him? It had to be a figment of my imagination, playing one of games on me like it did so many years ago. I hadn't had one of these visions in such a long time, why would I have one now? I closed my eyes slowly to clear my mind and drew a deep breath before opening them again to find the same vision. Edward Cullen, the only man I ever gave my heart to and truly loved seemed to be standing right in front of me. He bronze hair, topaz eyes, perfect red lips and beautiful skin looked exactly as I remembered them, when I allowed myself to do so.

"Bella?" the soft, velvety voice whispered in disbelief with a painful look on his face. I took another deep breath and then suddenly everything went dark.

**So.....any thoughts??**


	12. Chapter 12: Dreams or Reality?

**I had a little more time than expected, so here is chapter 12! Thanks again to Ledybug! Of course I wish I owned Twilight and all of its characters, but I don't. **

**Chapter 12**

**Dreams or Reality?**

**EPOV**

As I turned around, her perfect, love crushing scent was causing so much venom to run down my throat, I felt as if I was going to drown. I had to close my eyes, not breathing, to concentrate on not going with my body's instincts to kill her then and there. As I concentrated on keeping myself calm, I slowly turned, bringing my phone to my side, hearing Alice still yelling. When I knew I was directly in front of her, I carefully opened my eyes.

There she stood in front of me, looking as beautiful as she had the day I first saw her, as beautiful as the day I left her. Her dark hair cascaded over her creamy pale skin, falling over her shoulders. Her lovely brown eyes stayed focused on mine as her head shook sideways, I'm guessing in disbelief. I know I was having trouble believing this. I seemed to have my primal urge of killing her under control, for now anyway, but what was left of my heart was crying out to comfort her since I knew she was in some sort of pain, which I was the cause of. I promised her it would be as if I never existed, I was now breaking my last promise to her.

"Bella?" I whispered in disbelief full of pain in my throat, my mind, and my unbeating heart.

Continuing to shake her head back and forth in disbelief, it must have been too much for her as she attempted to turn and suddenly collapsed onto the floor, smashing her head on the doorknob on her way to the floor. As her head hit the metal object, it caused a cut on her forehead which I could instantly smell her fragrant blood starting to trickle out of. In an instant with my speed, unable to take the scent and situation any longer, I trusted that Samantha heard her fall and was instantly out of the building, happy that I know Samantha didn't see me at any point through this. I had never been so happy for her inattentiveness to her surroundings.

"Edward! Edward? Edward!" I heard Alice yelling through my cell phone as I finally made it to the fresh outside air, "Edward? Is everything alright?"

"I...I..," I know she was wanting to help, but I had to clear my head, "I'll call you back when I know Alice." With that, I closed my phone and slipped it in my pocket. Hunting is what I had to do now.

I quickly got in the car and headed in the direction my instincts were telling me to go. I couldn't get the sight of Bella out of my mind. _What is she thinking? How is she going to handle this? How am I going to handle this?_ I was still trying to wrap my mind around it when I came to a spot I could safely pull over and hunt. Exiting the vehicle as quickly as I could in the empty area I found, I quickly ran into the woods and found a herd of deer. Most of the herd didn't have a chance. I had to make sure that I took care of this part of myself, especially now. After I drained most of them and got rid of the evidence, I made my way back to the car and pulled out my phone and dialed.

"Are you alright Edward?" Alice immediately asked as she picked up.

"No," I said closing the door as I entered the car, "I don't know. You didn't see this?"

"No," she replied, "not until just before apparently."

I sighed. I had asked Alice and the rest of the family to stop any of their contact with Bella when we left, this wasn't Alice's fault, it was mine. This is all a consequence of my decision years ago.

"What are you going to do?" she asked interrupting my thinking.

"I don't know." I said plainly. "I have to go back I guess."

"And do what?" Alice asked, "Can you handle yourself around Bella? Do you need me to come?"

"No, no," I resigned, closing my eyes and resting my head against the headrest, "I'll be fine. I got myself into this, I'll deal with it." Then there was a pause in our conversation before I continued, "But Alice..."

"Don't worry Edward," she added, trying to comfort me, "I'll do my best to keep an eye on the situation.

"Thanks."

And with that, we hung up, and I headed back to the apartment to face Samantha and Bella.

**BPOV**

Ouch! What the hell happened? I could tell I was laying on the floor, but couldn't remember where or why?

"Izzy, Izzy!" I heard a worried voice calling out. I knew the voice instantly, but was confused as to why I was hearing that voice when it continued, "Izzy, _IZZY _wake up!"

I instinctively brought my hand up to the pain on my head as I moaned a bit with the ache. I then inhaled a deep breath and strained to open my eyes.

"Izzy!" Samantha yelled from my side with a worried look on her face, "Ohmygod! I was so worried, I was about ready to call my dad!"

"Don't do that," I insisted softly as I closed my eyes again to allow them time to adjust before I opened them again, "if someone called your dad or my dad every time I needed help they would be living here."

With that, I sat up with Samantha's help as I noticed there was blood on my hand from where I had touched my head.

"What the hell happened?" I asked as Samantha helped me up and she handed me a bag of ice from the freezer to put on my head.

"I don't know," she honestly said, "you had opened the door so that Eddie would be able to find the apartment and next thing I turned around and you were on the floor."

My eyes instantly closed and an image of Edward popped into my head. Edward was standing in the hallway, as perfect and beautiful as he ever was.

"Where...?" I started to ask before clearing my dry throat, "where is Eddie?"

"I don't know," she said with a sad look on her face as she looked down playing with the hem of her shirt, "he went downstairs to get something for me, and I haven't seen him since. And now the car is gone."

I closed my eyes again, inhaling a deep breath as I laid myself back on the sofa. This couldn't be happening, there is no way this could be happening. For whatever reason, my mind is just playing tricks on me. I must have tripped on something and fell, that had to be the explanation.

"Well if he's as good as you make him out to be," I said trying to comfort her, "I'm sure that there is a good explanation. How about something to drink?"

I then slowly stood up and went into the kitchen to get us some water. With our drinks in hand, we made our way back into the living room.

**EPOV**

I realized I would have to have an excuse, for Samantha anyway, for why I've been gone. It hasn't been too terribly long, but I still need something. I quickly pulled into a store on the corner and picked up some chocolates that I could use as an excuse. My initial instinct was to get her favorite, Pop-tarts, but thought that would look a little odd. I should definitely bring something to her family right? Its not just anybody, but _Bella._

Having no trouble finding the apartment building again, I pulled into the space and grabbed the chocolates I had purchased, along with the package that Samantha had requested originally from the car. After locking the doors I placed the keys in my pocket and made my way upstairs. I was fidgeting like a nervous 17 year old_, _so I closed my eyes and took in another one of those useless breaths to try to calm myself before knocking on the door.

**BPOV**

It seems as if we had just sat down with our waters after cleaning up my cut that there was a knock on the door. I stood up to go get it and Samantha interrupted me.

"I think you've had enough excitement over here for the day," she chuckled, "I'll get it." She made her way over the door and cautiously checked through the peep-hole before turning to me with a grin on her face mouthing the words, "_It's him" _to me. This would be it, my proof that maybe I am a bit more crazy that I thought I was lately and my mind was reminding me of that.

Samantha unlocked the door and opened it greeting her boyfriend at the door with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Just outside the door she was whispering something to him and grabbed something to him, but he wasn't in view yet. Then she grabbed his hand and led him into my apartment, as he looked the opposite direction of me while she closed the door behind him.

"Izzy," she said with that huge smile on her face, "I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Eddie."

It was then that he turned to face me and it confirmed that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. His face looked pained and sad, as I remembered from my memory as I was waking up. What should I say?

**EPOV**

I couldn't believe this was happening. Samantha brought me into Bella's apartment and there we were standing in the same room. I continued to hold my breaths on a cautionary note. She must have seen the sadness and pain in my face, because hers seemed to mirror what mine must look like. What did I do with my life, or whatever my existence is, to deserve this?

"Its...its," Bella stuttered out, visibly shaken, and trying to maintain eye contact but understandingly having difficult doing so, "its...ummmm...its nice to meet you, Eddie?" She reached out her hand to politely shake mine.

"Yes," I said to confirm her apparent questioning of Samantha calling me Eddie, "Its nice to meet you too....Izzy?" I reached my hand out in an attempt to meet hers, but for whatever reason she revoked her offer by retreating her hand to her pocket just as my hand was about to meet hers.

"So??" I was Samantha's turn to sound a bit confused in the conversation.

Bella snapped out of whatever daydream she was having and then suggested we all sit down.

"I brought this for you." Samantha said to Bella as we all found seats. Bella and Samantha sat together on the sofa as I sat in a recliner unable to take my eyes off of Bella. She must have been able to feel my eyes on her because she looked up at me and asked, "Can I get you something to eat or drink, Eddie?"

She was playing along with the charade she knew I lived. I simply replied with, "I'm fine. No thank you."

"So what is this? I can't wait to open it!" Bella said as she started to unwrap the gift from Samantha. I could tell she was uncomfortable by the way she kept pulling the stray strands of hair behind her ear, as her knee bounced up and down and was playing with her sleeves. She was visibly trying to keep eye contact with me at a minimum. I wish more at this time than any that I could read her mind.

"I love it!" she said as she finally unwrapped her present.

"I've been working on it since I got all of the pictures developed," Samantha pointed out, "its a scrapbook of last summer."

Bella sat there flipping through it, looking carefully at all of the pictures. I attempted to clear my throat and both of the girls looked at me.

"I brought you a little something too," I said as they both continued to have their eyes on me.

"Is that where you went?" Samantha asked me. I must have given her a questioning look on my face because she continued, "I looked out and saw the car was gone."

I looked at Bella and she gave me a questioning look too, but I'm sure she must have known where I really was.

"Yes," I stated simply as I stood up and gave Bella the chocolates I had purchased at the store. She slowly raised her hand to accept them and gave me a quick "Thank you."

"Yeah," Samantha said as I found my way back to my seat, "you missed all of the excitement. My cousin here, the ever so graceful one, apparently tripped on something and smacked her head on the door, knocking herself out."

"Are you alright?" I looked at Bella and asked with genuine concern. She always complained about me worrying about her so much.

"I'm fine," she replied as she brought her hand up to the little patch of dried blood, and then looked directly at me saying, "It was just a little blood this time."

All I could do is nod. I didn't know how much longer I could take this today.

"Well," I said standing up, "it would probably be best if I let you two ladies have some time alone. I will head out."

"You don't have to go Eddie," Samantha whined a bit grabbing my hand. "I feel bad bringing you out here and then just leaving you with nothing to do. Its alright if he stays, isn't it Izzy?" She looked back at Bella after she asked the question.

"I...I..." Bella started to say as she was messing with her hair again, "I don't care. Its up to you..._Eddie_." When she said Eddie, her eyes raised to mine. Again, if I could read her mind this would be so much easier to know what she's thinking and how she's feeling.

I kept my eyes on her as I replied, "I think its best for you two to catch up." She gulped and let out a breath, I think she was relieved.

"Alright then," Samantha said as she walked me to the door, "you have my cell phone number if you need anything. I'll call you tonight before we go to bed, ok?"

"Sounds good." I said, giving Samantha a kiss on the forehead before looking back at Bella, "It was nice meeting you...Izzy. I'll be seeing you two again soon. Good night."

With those words, I closed the door behind me and headed down to the car.

**BPOV**

I felt mixed emotions after he walked through the door. Relief. Confusion. Anxiety. I didn't know what to think of it all, but then I looked at Samantha and asked, "Hey? Do you have your bags?"

"Shit!" she yelled, "They're in the car. I hate to ask, but can you go get them from Eddie before he leaves, I have to pee right now!"

"Ummm," I was shocked, "yeah, I'll go get them."

I immediately grabbed my keys off the counter and made my way downstairs, knowing how quickly he would be moving.

Once outside, I immediately spied him standing at the trunk of his rental car as still as a statue, then he tensed up. He must have sensed me, because he slowly turned around to face me.

His eyes were that topaz color that I remember, so I know he was fed. That must have been where he was after he saw me, when he drove off. I could still see the pain in his eyes as he looked at me.

"Ummm." I couldn't believe how awkward this was. I couldn't even look at him directly in his eyes, but why? "Samantha sent me down for her luggage."

"Oh," he said quietly and quickly clicked the button for the trunk, and then removed his eyes from me to get her piece of luggage out for me. He pulled up the handle after placing it on the ground and wheeled it over to me.

There he stood. Edward Cullen was standing a foot in front of me. I never thought this would happen again. What should I do? I have never been as confused as I am now.

"I'm sorry." was all he quietly said as he dropped one hand from the luggage and closed the trunk with the other.

"Did you know?" I asked, not sure if I was prepared for the answer.

He looked at me as if I asked him a horrible question and was in physical pain from it, but then answered, "Do you think I would be here," he paused as he looked at me very seriously, "Do you think I would be here, obviously hurting you like this if I did?"

I had no answer for that. I inhaled a deep breath to make sure that I wouldn't pass out again, and then shook my head no.

Looking a little less somber, he looked directly at me and said, "Don't worry, I'll be back." Without another word, he made his way to the driver's side of the car and started the ignition. I grabbed Samantha's suitcase and headed towards the door of my apartment building. Then I stood there by the door and watched as Edward backed the car out of the parking space, and made his way onto the highway. At least this time, for better or worse, I knew Edward would be back.

**Alright, there it is! Let me know what you think of Chapter 12, thanks!**


	13. Chapter 13: Reality

**Here is Chapter 13...I hope you all enjoy! As always, I don't own any of this, otherwise I would be sitting somewhere else right now. Thanks to**** Chellie09 for being my Beta this chapter!**

**Chapter 13**

**Reality**

**BPOV**

I stood out there in the cold for a few more minutes, alone, after I watched Edward as the flashbacks hit me; _the_ _first time I saw Edward walk through the doors of the Forks high cafeteria...my first impression of him sitting at the table in Biology...how he took care of me when I needed it...our meadow...our first kiss...how much I felt loved and alive when he was with me...and how dead I felt when he left._

After I walked back up the stairs, I slipped my key in the door to find my cousin, my best friend, sitting on the sofa with the TV on. I could see me in her, in so many more ways now than I ever did before.

"Did you get it?" she asked, looking for the luggage I was pulling behind me.

"Yep," I stated simply as I rolled her small piece of luggage over to her. I loved my cousin to death; we were so much alike it was scary. All I could think of was how I didn't want her life to turn out as mine had. I had found what I thought was love, at about the same time in my life as she is in now, but lost it just as fast, with the same man.

"Is everything alright Izzy?" she asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I couldn't get the image of how happy she looked with Edward earlier out of my head. Had I looked that happy when we were together? How long had it been since I was that happy? It's hard for me to remember.

"Yeah," I said, placing my hand on the cut on my head, "I think that I may need to go lay down for a bit, my head is starting to kill me. Do you mind?"

"No," she replied, "I think I could actually use some quiet myself. Jet lag totally sucks!" I couldn't help but chuckle. She would have no problem finding anything she needed in my apartment, so after making sure the front door was locked, I made my way to my bedroom, slowly closing the door behind me.

I needed some time to think. After closing my door, I closed my eyes and slowly turned around. Part of me wouldn't put it past Edward to have found a way into my bedroom to be waiting for me like he used to so long ago, and another part of me didn't think I would ever see him again, even with the words he spoke just before he left today. I think I was relieved to see that when I turned around and opened my eyes, my room seemed to be completely empty. Deciding that yes, I was relieved with this discovery, my eyes made their way to my window. It was a habit my father and Jacob reprimanded me for before, keeping my bedroom window open. I guess it was just a part of my subconscious hoping that it would bring him back to me. So maybe it was my subconscious that now made me walk over to the window, look out through the glass, and slowly pushed the window halfway closed.

**EPOV**

After finding the hotel that I held a reservation at, I again felt the need to hunt. I couldn't get the scent of Bella out of my head, my nose, or my taste buds. It was still haunting me, and I needed to take care of myself before I did something I would regret. Another short hunting trip would take care of this, at least for the moment.

When I returned, I felt better about the situation. I sat in a chair in my room and thought. I thought about the first time I saw Bella, how I felt when I realized I couldn't hear her thoughts like I could everybody else, how I loved her when we were together, how my life wasn't the same without her, and how I needed extreme control since a part of me wanted nothing more than to taste her blood. I closed my eyes and pushed my head back into the chair, and then I heard my phone ring.

"Alice?" I asked, still sitting in the same position.

"Edward," she sighed, noticeably worried, "we're all concerned about you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I stated, I think trying to convince myself that I was.

"Have you decided what you are going to do?" she asked, "How is..." she paused before continuing, "...Bella?"

My head dropped as I pinched the bridge of my nose, "I don't know exactly what I'm going to do yet Alice. You don't see anything?" I had hoped that my sister would tell me if she saw anything, but I had to pause before answering her second question, "And she's...she's doing well."

"I can't see anything right now," she told me. "But just do me a favor. Promise me you will be careful."

I let out a sigh; didn't she know I would be careful? Was she overly concerned for another reason she wasn't telling me?

"I will." I stated in all honestly.

"And Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Tell her I say Hi, please? I've missed her so much."

I nodded with the phone still in my hand, "I will." And with that, we hung up. Had I put my family through everything for nothing?

I had to decide what to do with my night. I brought one of my favorite books to reread, but I surely wasn't in the mindset for that now. I knew what was left of my heart was telling me to do, but then I heard what my mind was telling me to do. So after a deep breath and pondering which I should follow, I locked my room and jumped in the rental car, speeding off as fast as the American made car would let me.

**BPOV**

I sat on my bed for what seemed like hours, simply staring at the wall ahead of me trying to take all of the days events in. I still wasn't totally convinced it was all real. What should I do? Was it up to me to let Sam know about Edward, or do I let it go? Do I just let Edward get away with what he did, or do I force him to explain to me what happened? Do I forgive him, or do I keep those feelings of pain in my heart? Did he deserve to know how much pain he caused me?

Deciding that I needed to check on Sam, I placed my feet on the floor and made my way out into the living room, and found her fast asleep on the sofa. Looking at the clock, I realized what time it was on the East coast, making my way to the closet to grab a blanket to place over her.

Just as I was pulling the blanket up over Sam's arms, I heard her cell phone ring. She must have been dead to the world from the day of traveling because she didn't show any signs of waking up. I reached in her bag to pick up her phone, imagining it would be her mother, flipped it open and placed it to my ear.

"Hello?" I whispered, as I made my way into the kitchen so I wouldn't wake her. There was silence on the other end as I asked again, "Hello?" After more silence, I pulled the phone from my ear and looked at the caller ID, and to my surprise I saw the name _**Eddie**_ in black print.

"Edward?" I whispered again, making sure Samantha wouldn't hear me, "Edward, I know this is you, I see your name on her phone!"

"Bella?" he said in that sad voice I heard earlier today, "I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip to force the tears to stay away. I didn't realize how much I missed that voice.

"Are you alright?" he asked, "Bella? Are you still there?"

After a deep breath to collect my thoughts I answered him. "Yes," was all I could say. What should I do now? I couldn't think.

"I was just calling because I hadn't heard from Samantha, and I promised her we would talk tonight," he said a bit nervously. "I wanted to make sure everything was alright."

"Oh."

"Bella," he started to say, again with that sad, apologetic tone, "I need to see you, we need to talk."

I immediately had to sit down. The thought of sitting down and talking to him at this moment was a little too much for me, "I can't."

"Bella...."

"Not right now," I told him. "I can't do this right now. It's too much. I'm sorry." With those last words, I quickly closed Sam's cell phone and put it back in her bag. I honestly didn't know how I was going to handle this. Whenever I had a major issue in my life, I talked to Jake or Charlie, but I couldn't talk to either of them about this...about him. I was on my own to figure this out, because after they had to put me back together after he left, they would both try to kill him if they knew he was here.

**EPOV**

Before I knew it, I was sitting in the parking lot of Bella's apartment. She had hung up on me, but I felt as if I couldn't be anywhere else. I wished she knew why I did what I did so many years ago, but I know she had no idea I did it because I loved her so much. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in either my past life, or my present one. Just sitting here in the car, being so close to her, yet not able to be with her was painful. I toyed with the thought in my head that it was just a form of punishment for what I've done to her, but I could never punish myself enough for what I did to her, to my family, or myself.

Figuring out exactly where her apartment was, and figuring out where her bedroom must be, I would be lying if I said the thought of finding my way to her window didn't cross my mind. I also figured that if I did that, it would make things much worse, so I used all of my self-control to keep myself put, though my eyes were fixed on the partly open window which I figured was hers. As my eyes stayed focused on that window, my mind imagined how she must be feeling in response to the day's events. What was left of my heart fractured, yet again.

**BPOV**

After making sure everything for Sam was set for the night, and my apartment was settled, I found my way to the bathroom where I took a long and relaxing warm shower. There was nothing like a warm shower to make me feel better. With my favorite scent of strawberries through my hair to help me relax, I put on my comfortable pajamas and found my way to my room. I left the door open in case Sam needed anything, but my eyes made their way to my opened window. My stomach was doing flips as if it was trying to tell me something. I made my way over to it and looked out the window. Not seeing anybody, mainly Edward outside with my quick glance, I decided not to tempt fate. I reached my hand up on the window, and slammed it closed, locking the lock for the first time since I had moved into the apartment.

Feeling a little nauseous from that action, I couldn't help but unlock the lock. This made me feel a bit better, so I then pulled down the blinds to cover the window that seemed to be taunting my thoughts. Trying to not think about it, I found my way to my bed, turned off the lamp beside my bed, and pulled the covers over my body. Then suddenly, I felt the warm tears rolling down my face. I didn't know if I was strong enough to deal with this yet, strong enough to deal with him yet, but I now had no choice.

**EPOV**

I was correct with my assumption of the window that was Bella's. It took her awhile, but eventually I saw her standing in front of that open window which my eyes were fixated on. When I saw her looking around, as if she was expecting to find somebody, I placed my hand on the door handle, ready to find my way up the tree beside it, into her room. But then suddenly, as the map to my plan was outlined perfectly in my head, I saw her close the window, and I could hear the click of the lock and then quick unlock. Then before I knew it, the blinds were closed and the light was shut off. I took my hand off of the handle, being careful not to break it with my frustration and sadness. Realizing that tonight would not be the night, I reclined the seat back a bit in the car to make myself a bit more comfortable and sat there the rest of the night, my eyes not leaving that window.

**Thanks for reading, let me know what you're thinking!**


	14. Chapter 14: Let's Talk

**Here is the next chapter....I hope you enjoy! I have some of what comes next written, but I just didn't like how it came out, so I stopped here. Thanks for all of the reviews coming in, and thanks again to Chellie09 for helping me talk through this chapter and editing! **

**Chapter 14**

**Let's Talk**

**BPOV**

Of course I couldn't sleep, why would I think I could sleep? As soon as I pulled the covers over my body all I could think about as Edward. I know that we seriously needed to talk, but how does that conversation even start? _Where has he __been all these years? Did he suffer as much as I did? How is his family? How is Alice?_

I rolled over and sighed. I got up, walked out to the kitchen and saw that Samantha was still fast asleep on the sofa. Careful not to wake her up, I grabbed a glass from the cupboard, poured myself a glass of wine, and carried it back to my bedroom. Knowing at this point that I would be unable to sleep for a while, I switched on my light and pulled out my old decrepit copy of _Wuthering Heights _to read for a bit. I needed some comfort and my favorite book always seemed to do that for me. Propping myself up on my pillows and adjusting the blankets around me, I opened the book and began to read.

**EPOV**

It wasn't long until I saw the light on in Bella's bedroom again. I hoped everything was all right. I knew today was a shock to her; I knew it as a shock to me. I had until the morning to figure out how to handle this. What could I say? _What has she been_ _doing __since we were last together? Did she suffer as much as I did? How are Charlie and Renee? How was she?_

I closed my eyes and if Bella was the same girl she was before, she is in her room, curled in her bed most likely unable to sleep with everything that happened today. I wouldn't be shocked if she was reading a new book, or maybe one of her old favorites again. I wondered if she still has that copy of _Wuthering Heights_ that was falling apart in high school.

**BPOV**

It was no use. Even my favorite story couldn't take my mind off of the issues at hand. Maybe I should just take control of the situation. I have grown into a strong woman over the last few years, and maybe I just needed to take control of this myself instead of waiting for him. Deciding that is what I needed to do, I tiptoed out into the living room and searched through Samantha's bag again for her cell phone. Finding it easily, I grabbed it and made my way back to my bedroom.

I sat there on the edge of my bed and stared at the phone for a minute wondering if I should do this, wondering if I was ready, wondering if he was ready, if we were ready. Realizing it had to be done sooner or later, and it was probably best to be done without Samantha around, I flipped open the phone and looked through her contacts until I saw _**Eddie.**_ I reached over, finished off my glass of courage, pressed the send button, and slowly brought the phone to my ear.

**EPOV**

Just as my thoughts of Bella were making me think back to the way her hair smelled like strawberries, and how warm her skin felt to me, making me feel alive, I heard my phone ring in my pocket and quickly grabbed it. _**Samantha **_flashed up on the screen. My mind immediately raced to the conclusion that something was wrong, maybe Bella had told Samantha about me, so I quickly flipped my phone open and brought it to my ear.

"Samantha?" I quickly asked, followed by silence.

"No," her voice whispered on the other end. I would know that voice for eternity.

"Bella?" I asked, truly surprised, not totally believing it was actually her. Again, there was silence.

"I...ummm...I...." she managed to blurt out, which was again followed by a deafening silence. I would give her all the time she needed to say whatever it was she needed to say. I don't know how long it was, but eventually she continued, "I...ummm...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called."

"No," I blurted out, I needed to hear her voice some more, "you have no need to be sorry Bella."

"I just," again she paused, "I just know that we need to talk...about whatever...and I can't sleep and I know you..."

"Yeah," I said as my eyes made their way to her window.

"So," she started, "I was thinking maybe we could talk? I mean, since we both have the time..."

"It's up to you Bella; you don't have to do anything you're not ready for." I desperately wanted to be near her, but I knew I couldn't push her.

"I can be ready in about ten minutes; do you think you could meet me downstairs then?"

I couldn't help but smile to myself, but I didn't want to freak her out by telling her I was already here, and had been for some time. "I can do that. I'll meet you at the door in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes," she repeated before hanging up the phone. I closed my phone and stuck it in my pocket. I had no idea how this would go, but it was the first step in the process of whatever was in our future, or whomever our futures were with.

**BPOV**

After I hung up Sam's phone I crept out of my room and slipped it back into her bag, then silently made my way to my bathroom. I only had ten minutes, so I grabbed a washcloth and quickly washed my face, then smoothed some moisturizer over it, remembering that he will forever look seventeen, and I have already aged beyond that. Next, I grabbed my brush and slipped my hair back into a fairly neat ponytail. Looking in the mirror, I pulled the elastic out of my hair, letting it fall over my shoulders. I looked more mature with my hair down, and I needed to show Edward that I'm no longer the teenager he knew in Forks. Somehow I felt that my hair down would help send this message.

Once satisfied with what I saw in the mirror, I dashed into the bedroom and looked in my closet. Realizing I had five minutes left, I grabbed one of my favorite pair of comfy jeans an old t-shirt, and then slipped one of my college sweatshirts over that to help keep me warm. After I found my socks and sneakers, I was ready to go, or as ready as I was ever going to be to go take care of this.

Again being careful not to disturb Sam, I grabbed a piece of paper from a drawer, leaving her a note letting her know I would be back. I then wrapped my scarf around my neck, slipped on my coat and put on my hat and gloves. I grabbed my keys and purse and carefully closed and locked the door behind me.

**EPOV**

I knew I wouldn't be able to wait that short amount of time in the car without driving myself crazy. I've dreamed about being in the same room with Bella again for years now. _Do I think I deserved it? No! Do I know what this means? No! Will I be able to control myself? I must! _

I waited patiently by the exit of the building where I know she would be exiting in the next eight minutes. _What should we do? Where should we go? What ws she expecting from me?_

As the minutes slowly passed, my mind went back to when I first showed Bella my meadow, _our_ meadow. I couldn't help but chuckle as I remember how she got lightheaded as I ran us back to the truck after we hiked there. And then when I sat her down, and we first kissed. It was all I could do to keep control. I remembered how hard it was for me to control myself around her before. Part of me wished I had enough time for another quick hunt, but I know that was out of the question if I wanted to be here waiting for her. I had hunted earlier, so I should be fine. I _hoped_ I would be fine.

It was then that my phone rang again in my pocket. I knew exactly who it had to be, but I looked at the name on the screen to confirm it for myself.

"Alice?"

"Edward, is everything alright?"

"Why?" I asked. "Did you see something?"

"Just be careful," she said. "I'm seeing lots of things, but nothing is coming out clear. Just promise you'll be careful."

"I will Alice. Thanks."

"No problem," she said, but I could tell there was more, "and can you do me a favor?"

I was silent, because I knew she would ask anyway.

"Tell her I say Hi, and I miss her."

I closed my eyes and lowered my head. Hearing my dear sister say that, though I've known it for years made me realize yet again how my actions not only hurt myself, and possibly Bella, but my family too.

I replied, "I will," and closed my phone, looking at the clock. I had about five minutes left.

Deciding I didn't want to look too anxious, I decided to return to my car and keep my eye on the door. At the first sign of her exit, I would quickly move to meet her. After convincing myself that was probably the best option, I tried to waste time walking as slowly as I could back to the car, where I sat and waited, trying to wait patiently.

It wasn't too long later that I noticed the door knob move, so I quickly exited the car and made my way to the door. I couldn't keep my eyes off her as she walked out the door dressed as simple as ever. I inhaled her scent to help keep everything in check, and it burned as always, but I was certain I would be fine.

"Hi." was all I could say as I held the edge of the door with my hand for her as she completely exited the building.

"Hi," she replied as she looked at me and then diverted her eyes to the ground as she pushed some her hair behind her ear. I could hear her heart racing nervously.

"So, do you want to go somewhere to talk?" I asked.

"Sure."

I wasn't familiar with the area, "Any recommendations?"

She paused for a moment thinking and then said, "Just wanna drive around?"

"Sure." I found my way leading her to my rental car, of course opening her door, and closing it once she was safely inside before making my way to the driver's side.

"So..."

"So..."

A couple of minutes of awkward silence followed before she spoke up trying to break the mood jokingly, "You probably should put the key in the ignition to start it, unless you developed some new powers since you...."

I chuckled for her benefit, but anytime my thoughts went back to when I left her, it was anything but funny. I slid the key in the ignition, gently turned it, and reminded her to fasten her seat belt before I asked for directions. She gave them to me as we drove around the town. I was starting to get a bit frustrated, so I asked, "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah," she said nervously, tugging at the sleeves of her sweatshirt, "I figured we should."

**BPOV**

It was odd. Being so close to him again was a bit strange and foreign. Of course on one level it felt wonderful, but on another it just didn't feel real. I had gotten the courage to meet with him, and here we were, the ball was again in my court and I just had to do what I had to do.

"Does she know?" He glanced over at me with a questioning look on his face, so I repeated my question, "Does she know?"

He must have sensed this may be a heated discussion, so he found an entrance to a local park, pulled into the parking lot, and placed the car in park. Staring forward with both hands on the steering wheel he answered me, "No."

A bit of a gasp exited my lungs. I was shocked I guess, but I had to continue to ask.

"Why did you do it?"

"Why did I do what?" he asked, still looking forward and frustrating the hell out of me.

I unfastened my seat belt and turned my body in the seat to face him, "Why did you leave me?" I wasn't ready for the pain etched in his face when he turned around to face me. He looked as if those words were torturing every inch of him.

Then he parted his lips, looked directly into my eyes, and softly said, "Because I loved you."

"Because you loved me? What kind of fucking answer is that? Because you loved me, you left me behind to rot away? You left me behind with a heart that would never fully heal? You left me behind because...because," I was furious and didn't understand, but had to continue, "because you _loved _me?"

He must have seen the pain in my face as I tried to keep the tears from coming back, refusing to let him see me cry, because the pained look on his face grew even worse.

"It's true," he said, returning his gaze to the windshield, "Believe it or not, I thought if I left you, you would be better off. I take it I was wrong."

"Wrong? Well, I barely ate or slept for months; it took longer than that for me to sleep without the nightmares making me wake up screaming." I was trying to settle myself down from remembering, "It took me years to learn to live again...truly live again." I paused for a moment and then stared forward as he was before I continued, "If I have even started living fully again."

"You've built a life for yourself Bella," he said before returning his eyes to me. "You graduated from high school, graduated from college and have a job. Those are all important milestones," he paused, "to humans."

I inhaled a deep breath to try to calm myself before I answered him with one word, "Maybe."

"Not maybe," he continued, "they are."

"But they meant nothing to me," I said before turning my head so our eyes would meet, "because I wanted to meet those milestones with you." It was at that point my eyes failed me and the tears started to fall slowly down my cheek.

**Thanks again to everyone who has been reviewing....it helps to inspire the next chapters!**


	15. Chapter 15: Truths and Fear

Here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy! Of course I wish I was SM, but I'm not so this is just my imagination. Thanks again to Chellie09 for being my Beta again this chapter!

**Chapter 15**

**Truths and Fear**

**EPOV**

Not the tears, anything but the tears, those broke me more than anything else did. Before, I would have reached over and wiped them away, kissed them away, and I wanted to. I know that wasn't the right thing to do here, it wasn't the right thing to do now.

"Bella," I said tilting my head to the side, trying to show her how much the display of her true feelings was hurting me without hurting her more, but before I could say anymore, she surprised me by opening her car door.

"Bella?" I asked as I quickly exited my own side of the car. She was standing against the closed door, her body shaking from her crying. Comforting her was all that was in my mind, so I raced to the other side of the car and attempted to wrap my arms around her to comfort her as I had so many years ago, but this time I was met by her flailing arms attempting to get away from me, which I sadly allowed her to do. As she made her way to the end of the car, she seemed to calm herself down. I could sense her heartbeat growing slower, and her breathing was becoming steadier. Then I continued, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry for what?" she mumbled, facing the opposite direction.

"I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry for upsetting you, and I'm sorry for hurting you," I said. "I'm sorry for hurting you so much."

I heard her inhale a deep breath, wrap her arms around herself and then slowly turn to face me saying, "I'm sorry too."

It was then that Bella started walking forward, trying to pass me. Getting more frustrated with the situation, I automatically reached my arm out and grabbed her arm as she walked by, being careful not to hurt her, but causing her to be unable to walk away from the situation. As I stopped her and pulled her beside me, I turned to her and saw her eyes meet mine, and then a flash of fear upon her face.

**BPOV**

Black... his eyes were black, his jaw was clenched; this wasn't good. What should I do? I knew that he wouldn't knowingly hurt me, but it snapped me out of my attitude and brought me back to reality.

"Don't walk away from me." he seemed to spit out, "Not like this."

My eyes dropped to his hand still on my arm as I winced at the pressure wrapped around it. He wasn't hurting me, but I'm sure I would still have a bruise in the morning.

"I'm sorry," he said, and I could tell he genuinely felt guilty, "I'm sorry, I know now that I hurt you, but don't walk away from me."

"Why not?" I asked, seriously wondering why I shouldn't walk away when that is exactly what he did to me, "It seems to be the easy thing to do when things get tough."

I knew it was a low blow, and part of me wanted to hurt him, part of me wanted to see him in an ounce of the pain he put me through, but the response from him isn't what I expected at all.

"I had no choice!" he yelled as he loosened his grip around my arm a little bit, but still having a firm hold. "I wanted you to have a chance at life." His eyes seemed to look beyond me as he continued, "I wanted you to live like a normal seventeen year old. I wanted you to mature and make mistakes like a normal seventeen year old." After a short pause and his eyes returning to mine he said, "I wanted you to have a chance of living a long life, aging with someone who you didn't have to worry about killing you when he touched you, or being killed for a simple accident."

I didn't know what to say. Speechless, I simply stood there, and brought my hand up to his which was still attached to me as the tears began to fall again.

"Bella," he said with a shaky voice, "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that," I said shaking my head in frustration. "Just stop saying that!"

Immediately I noticed his trip tighten a bit and a small growl rise from his chest and my eyes instantly rose to meet his. For the first time ever, I felt a little fear around Edward.

As our eyes stayed connected, as if we were searching for answers in each other, his phone rang. Without our eyes parting, be brought his phone to his ear.

"Yes? ...Everything's fine... No..." his eyes softened just a bit; he must have realized what had happened, "I promise...you think it's necessary? ...fine, I'll ask." I was very confused.

"She wants to talk to you," he said holding his phone out to me.

"Who...who...who is it?" I managed to stammer out, still not reaching for the phone.

"Alice."

My heart automatically winced at the thought of Alice. I had missed her so much. Reaching for the phone, our hands grazed causing my stomach to flip a bit, but our eyes still never faulted.

With the phone now at my ear I talked, "Hello? Alice, is it really you?"

"Yes Bella, it's me," she sang, oh how I missed that voice.

"Alice, what's wrong?"

"Bella, I know you're hurt, I know you're frustrated, and I know you're confused." I simply nodded as she continued and Edward kept his eyes and hand firmly on me. "But do me a favor, listen to him. Hear him out."

"Alice...I..."

"If you don't do it for him or yourself, do it for me, please?

I sighed; Alice knew I would never be able to deny her request.

"Fine," I said. "I'll try."

"Thanks Bella! I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too Alice, more than you'll ever know."

"Be good, I'll see you soon," she said excitedly. "I can see it!"

I couldn't help but smile a bit at that news; and with that smile Edward seemed to relax his grip on my arm, and his jaw didn't seem as tight. I easily replied, "I can't wait." After Alice hung up, I closed the phone and handed it to Edward, who totally let go of me and slid it into his pocket.

"I'm sorry for that," he said, turning his gaze to the ground. "I didn't mean to scare you, and I will understand if you want me to take you back home. I will if you want me to."

I thought about how easy that would be for a moment. I looked at Edward and said, "We came here to talk, so let's talk."

**EPOV**

_Let's talk_, that's easier said than done. I wanted to start to make this easier on her, but I just wasn't sure how to start the whole conversation. Yes, I am over 100 years old, but relationships like this are still very new to me.

Before I knew it, she had started to walk past me again, and waited for me to follow her. I did so, and before too long she stopped at the top of a small hill on the path we were on.

She turned around to face me, being careful to keep her distance before speaking, "So, I know I asked before, but I promised Alice I would try to understand this all." Her eyes darted around from the trees around us, to the stars in the sky, and the ground under us before continuing with her eyes nowhere close to mine. "I need to understand, I still don't understand; why did you leave Forks? Why did you leave... me?"

I tried to relax myself, but wasn't doing a very good job of it. I inhaled a deep breath and looked straight at her, even though her eyes were nowhere to be found. "I made the decision to leave Forks after your birthday party."

"I figured that much." she spat out bitterly.

"I'm trying to explain Bella, would you please let me finish?" She nodded as I tried to keep my anger under control, and then she looked up at me waiting for me to continue. "I had always agonized with the thought of something happening to you. I knew it was only a matter of time until something would happen. I hoped that it never would, but it was always in the back of my mind. I didn't know whether it would be Jasper unable to control himself, Emmett hugging you too hard when he goofed around, Alice forgetting you're human, dragging you all around or..." I paused and looked deep into her eyes, "or me finally unable to control myself."

I paused for a moment waiting to see if she had a reaction, so I continued, "I didn't think it was fair to constantly put you in danger like that, and I knew I was being selfish in loving you." As her eyes stayed focused on me I wished more than ever that I could read her thoughts, because that would make this so much easier, but I couldn't so I continued, "You know that I had no intention of changing you, I would never wish this life on anyone. I always wanted nothing more than to see you live out a happy, human life, and the only way I imagined that would happen is if I took myself totally out of the picture."

All of a sudden, she mumbled, "It would be as if you never existed."

Without notice, she turned away from me and continued walking down the path, and of course I followed her. A few moments later she stopped, and again turned to face me.

**BPOV**

This next question was burning inside me so I just asked it, "That's it?"

"_That's it?"_ he repeated, "Me being worried that someone I love would hurt or even kill you isn't enough? Me wanting you to live a _normal_ human life and be happy isn't enough?" I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair. "Sometimes I don't understand how you think."

"You apparently left because of your concern about my well-being, correct?"

"Yes. This always had to do with you, not with me. I've loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you."

"And you lied to me?"

Again, I could see the pain on his face as I accused him of lying to me, but he defended himself, "Yes I did. There is no other way you would have let it go. I felt there was no other way to do it, and I figured if you thought I didn't love you anymore, it would make it easier for you to move on."

I didn't know exactly what to say. I was angry that he made a decision about _my_ life without my input, and now I find out he lied to me.

Unable to take it another second, I continued down the path. I had walked this path frequently, so I knew we weren't very far from a group of benches at the end of this short hill we were walking on. I felt that I needed to sit down for a few minutes. So many things were happening I just needed some time to process it. It was then that I wrapped my arms around my body as I began to feel chilly and continued walking down the path. With my mind trying to wrap around what we had been discussing, apparently my feet betrayed me and found a tree root to stumble over. Just as my arms went out ahead of me to brace myself for the fall, I felt the familiar embrace of Edward wrapping his arms around me before I hit the ground, righting me to my feet.

I couldn't help but stare at him as we stood there, his arms wrapped around me, our eyes focused on each other. It didn't take long before he must have realized how uncomfortable the situation was, and released me.

Apparently trying to lighten the mood he chuckled, "I'm glad to see some things about you haven't changed."

I nodded and continued down the path, being careful to watch for anything else I could fall over.

A few minutes later I found myself in the familiar area with all of the benches. I found the closest one and sat down, then brought my elbows to my knees, and placed my head frustratingly in my hands. I noticed Edward standing beside the bench, simply with his hands in his pockets. He must have realized that I needed sometime to decompress, so he stood patiently until I was ready for more talk.

"Alright," I said as I brought my head up from my hands, "I understand that you left because you think it was better for me, and you lied to me because you think it was the only way it could be done."

I turned my body so that I was now looking up at him. He seemed to be a bit more relaxed with those words, so I continued, "I understand, but that doesn't mean I forgive. It doesn't mean that I'm not still angry, and it doesn't mean that I agree with _your_ decisions about _my_ life; but I understand." I truly did understand. Of course, _I _wouldn't have made, or wanted this choice at that point in time, but what was done is done and there is no changing that now. I told Alice I would try and I am.

"I accept that honest answer Bella," he said. "That's all I can ask you for. Thank you."

I nodded to acknowledge his reply, and then he continued saying, "You know, you're not the only one who had a difficult time." Before I knew it, he was sitting next to me on the bench; I forgot how fast he really was.

"I left the family for a while, and traveled the world trying to distract myself."

"And how did that work?" I asked.

"Not well," he confessed. "I tried my hand at tracking, like James?" He raised his eyebrows as if asking if I remembered James. I pushed up the sleeve of my sweatshirt revealing the mark I would have for a lifetime from him, and lightly ran my fingers over it showing him I remembered. He nodded and continued, "I was miserable and lonely, then eventually ended up returning back to the family when they moved to the East coast."

I nodded showing that I understood.

EPOV

I saw her nod, illustrating that she understood, but I wanted to continue.

"Bella, my days and nights were full of darkness. I didn't want to feed, even though the pain was unbearable. I figured that I deserved that pain for doing what I did. I asked Alice and the rest of the family to keep away from you; I didn't want you to suffer from contact with any of us. I had no idea that it would hurt so much. If I could have killed myself, I would have."

I heard her heart skip a beat and inhale a quick breath. "Don't say that," she immediately said in the softest tone I've heard from her since I arrived. "As much as I hated you, as much pain as I felt, I would never want that for you."

I glanced around the area, and then at my watch. It was getting extremely late, and I knew we should get going soon, but I heard her heart start to speed up.

"So how did you meet Samantha?" she asked out of nowhere. I turned to her and saw her eyes were directly on me. It eventually had to be asked.

"At school."

She nodded and began rubbing her hands together, obviously getting cold, but there was nothing I could do to help her. Then she continued, "A bit hypocritical don't you think?"

My eyes widened a bit at her reaction. By no means was she the eighteen year old Isabella Swan I once loved. She had grown into a strong, mature woman and I loved that more than anything else; but this was going to be a long, tough conversation.

"I agree," I nodded, again looking at my watch. "Speaking of Samantha, it's getting late Bella; I should be getting you home before she notices you're missing."

A yawn escaped her. "This isn't over you know," she said firmly as she stood up and started walking back down the path. "We still have a lot to talk about, a lot to try to understand."

"Agreed," I said as I stood up next to her, looking at my watch and seeing it was past midnight, and followed her. "We'll talk about this tomorrow." We walked back to the car in silence, as I watched carefully to make sure that she didn't fall over anything on the way back to the car. Once in, I turned on the heat to warm her up, and we made our way back to her apartment.

After the car was in park, she found her key, unbuckled her seat belt and opened the car door as I attempted to exit the vehicle.

"I'm fine." she said, "I can make it myself."

Not wanting to push her any more than I had already this evening I stayed put in the car, watched her exit the car, and make her way to the door. Knowing that I would hear her, she looked directly at me, "We'll talk again tonight, same time." then entered the building. I didn't leave until I saw her bedroom light turn on, then I found my way back to my hotel room. I knew it was going to be a long few days and I had to try to prepare myself for it. I needed to figure out how I was going to explain everything to Bella.

**Let me know what you're thinking by leaving a review...**_**thanks**_**!**


	16. Chapter 16: Nightmares

**Thanks again to Chellie09 for letting me bounce ideas off of her and being my beta! I hope you enjoy...**

**Chapter 16**

**Nightmares**

**BPOV**

Upon entering my apartment, I was exhausted: physically, mentally and emotionally. I walked carefully checking on Sam who was still fast asleep, so I picked up my note and tossed it into the garbage before making my way back to my bedroom.

I turned on my light and quickly got back into my pajamas, then found my way into my bed before turning the light off. I wrapped myself in my blanket and closed my eyes, trying to force the sleep I so desperately needed. As my mind drifted off, all I remembered were my memories of Edward.

The dreams started off with the sweet ones, like when I first laid eyes on him as he walked into the cafeteria, how safe I felt when he rescued me in Port Angeles, how he comforted me when I was in the hospital after James, and of course our night at the prom. I remembered how it felt to be wrapped in his arms as he helped me dance around the floor. I would have done anything for him to change me that night, I was prepared for it and hoped he would change his mind, but he didn't. He wanted to love me as I was, as a human.

Then the dreams turned around. I remembered how I felt when he was so rude to me at first in biology class and how much it hurt. Then my nightmare had me remembering the pain I felt when I thought I would never see him again when James tortured me at the ballet studio. Following that I remembered how crushed I felt when he told me in the hospital that I should go to Jacksonville with my mom and Phil so I would be safe from him. Then at last, my brain was being horrible to me, taking me back to that night Edward left me in Forks, and his words played repeatedly as they had so many years before for so many nights...

_Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human..._

_You're not good for me Bella..._

_I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed..._

_Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind_

_Well, I won't forget. But my kind… we're very easily distracted..._

Suddenly I was awoken by someone.

**EPOV**

It was well into the morning hours, but I couldn't make my way back to the hotel quite yet, so I kept my car parked right where it was. I had a lot of thinking to do; I had to figure out exactly what I was going to say to Bella, and I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I never really thought of myself as a hypocrite until I saw her again. Yes, I thought of her every day of my existence since I left her, but I never thought I would have feelings for anyone like I did for her. That brought a new question that I had to answer; _what exactly are my feelings for Samantha?_

When Alice pushed us together, I know it was because she knew I was lonely and wasn't going to do anything about it myself. The truth is Bella is my singer, she wasn't meant for me to _love _her as I do, it was unnatural, and it _is _unnatural. _Do I still love her?_ Of course I do. I love her more than anything I could have ever imagined, I know that more now than I did the last time we were together. That old saying, "Absense makes the heart grow fonder", is absolutely true. But I have grown to love Samantha too, in a different way. I left Bella so that I wouldn't hurt her anymore, and so _what am I going to do now? _

I have to wait; I'm getting ahead of myself. I don't even know what Bella is thinking. _Does she still love me deep down? _I know from her tone and behavior this evening that she is still deeply hurt. _But_ _does that hurt change her feelings for me?_ I wouldn't blame her if her feelings had changed. She's right, I had no right to make the decision for her life without her, but she was merely 18 years old...she wasn't thinking with her mind, _was she?_

I was as confused as ever. Feeling my cell phone vibrate, I picked it up and answered.

"Hello Alice."

"You know that stalker laws are strictly enforced in some areas right?"

"Alice..."

"Edward, you need to get away. You need to go hunt. I'm sure they're both sleeping, they'll be fine."

Realizing that she was right, I turned the ignition in the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Alice, what am I going to do?"

She sighed on the other end, "You're going to have to be honest. You're going to have to be honest with Bella, and you're going to have to be honest with Samantha. But, most of all, you're going to have to be honest with yourself."

"Alice, someone is going to get hurt. I started all of this when I left Forks so nobody would get hurt."

"What about you Edward? I haven't seen Bella, but I know you didn't walk away unscathed."

I pulled the car over in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant and placed it in park as we continued to talk. "Alice, you don't see anything?"

"I do see one thing. And I think it will help."

I was desperate. "What? What do you see Alice? What's going to help?"

"I see a ticket to the west coast for an Alice Cullen in my hand. I'm leaving first thing in the morning and I'll be there by early afternoon."

"You don't have to do that Alice. I just..."

"Hey, I'm your sister; I want to see you happy. I don't think I could stand seeing you mope around for another hundred years knowing that I may have been able to help."

As much as a pain as she was at times, she did know how to help, "Thanks Alice."

"No problem. Now just do me a favor and make sure you hunt before you see them in the morning. And warn Bella."

"I will. Thanks again, Alice. See you tomorrow."

With that we hung up and I found my way back onto the highway and my hotel. I figured I should try to clear my thoughts and figure out exactly what I was going to say before I went hunting.

**BPOV**

"Izzy...Izzy!" I heard as I felt my body being shaken.

"What?" I asked groggy.

"Are you alright?" the voice asked. It took me a minute because I was so tired, but then finally my brain recognized it was Sam.

"Yeah," I said finally opening my eyes and bringing my hand to my head, confused. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" she asked as she sat on the bed beside me. "You were in here screaming! You must have been having a nightmare."

I laid there with my head on the pillow trying to remember what I was dreaming of, and then all of a sudden it came back to me. Edward! I was having the nightmares that I used to have about Edward.

"Yeah," I said still groggy. "I guess I was."

"Are you alright?" she asked. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No," I said quickly. "I'll be fine. What time is it?"

"It's almost 9:00. You must have been exhausted!" she told me, and then I noticed she was dressed for the day. "Eddie is going to be over shortly. Is there anything on the agenda for today?"

I closed my eyes at the thought and immediately became anxious. _How the hell were we going to deal with this? _Trying to calm myself down, I took in a deep breath, and then exhaled.

"I imagine I should start with a shower, and then get a cup of coffee."

"Coffee is already made and waiting for you!" she happily told me.

"Thanks Sam," I said getting up and finding my way to the bathroom. "I'll be out shortly. Try to figure out what you want to do today."

After closing the door behind me in the bathroom, I leaned back against it and fell to the floor, and placed my face in my hands. I had no idea how I was going to get through this, but I would do my best for Sam. I sat there for a few minutes trying to figure out what I would tell her about Edward and I if I had to before Edward and I actually talked about it. I seriously had no idea how I was going to make it through the next couple of days, but I knew I would find the strength to somehow.

**EPOV**

After a quick hunt, I headed to Bella's apartment since Samantha called me that morning to see where I was. I had to find a way to let both of them know that Alice was coming, but didn't want to shock Bella with the news in front of Alice. After I parked the car, I made my way up the stairs. I felt a little awkward, or was it nerves? I wasn't sure, but it was unsettling. After knocking on the door, I was a bit relieved when Samantha opened it. She leaned in for a kiss, but I wasn't able to reciprocate it, all I could do was try to give her a reassuring smile. I hope it worked.

"Do you want some coffee?" she asked me.

"No," I stated. "I already ate, but thanks."

"Ok," she stated simply, before taking her mug full over to the sofa and sitting down. I sat on the matching chair to the living room set.

"Where is your cousin?" I asked, hoping I wasn't too forward.

"She's in the shower," she said before putting her mug on the coffee table. "I had to go and wake her, I feel so bad."

"What happened?" I asked, I'm sure the concerned tone came across in my voice.

"She must have been having the worst nightmare," she said shaking her head as she recalled it. "She was screaming and punching her pillow when I walked in. Then for a split second I could hear some bits and pieces of her unspoken thoughts.... "_I loved you...don't leave m__e...__she was punching her pillow...crying..._"

What was left of my heart broke completely. I hoped with every thread of my monstrous being that she wasn't having a nightmare for the reason I was suspecting she was.

"Is she alright?" I sadly asked.

"Yeah, I think so. She should be out shortly."

It was just then that I heard the water shut off in the shower.

**BPOV**

A hot shower always made me feel much better. I dried my hair as much as I could and then wrapped my body in a towel. Not thinking I reached for the door and opened it.

As soon as I walked out I sensed him. My eyes snapped to the living room and there he was, he immediately stood up and his eyes were on me and he looked saddened for some reason.

"Oh shit!" I moaned as I quickly made my way to my bedroom. Wasn't I thinking? Apparently not! Once safely in the confines of my room I slipped on my clothes for the day which included a comfortable pair of jeans and long sleeve shirt. I brushed out my hair and let it hang as it may. Then after giving myself a short pep talk, I made my way out into the living room

As soon as I stepped foot within range, he stood up again and faced me. I nodded in recognition of him and inhaled a deep breath before saying, "Ed..._Eddie. _Good morning." I forced a smile upon my face and made my way into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. I had a feeling I would be going through several mugs today.

"Good morning," he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

After fixing my coffee I asked, "Did you um...sleep well at your hotel?" I couldn't help but keep my eyes on him as I took a long drink from my mug.

"I managed to get by, and you?" he asked.

When I looked up at him, he looked as if he was trying to ask me something, or tell me something. I didn't understand, so I simply said, "Umm, yeah, I guess."

He now looked at me as if he knew I was lying. _I wonder if Sam told him about my __nightmares._ That must be it. Assuming I was correct, I brought my coffee to my lips and mumbled so that only he would be able to hear, "I guess you already know I didn't."

When I looked up at him, his eyes were closed and he seemed to inhale a deep breath and then was suddenly rigid.

"So what's on your agenda for today Sam?" I asked, making my way in to sit beside her on the sofa.

"Oh, I don't know," she said shrugging her shoulders. "Maybe we could all go for a hike?"

Edward softly chuckled which caused me to look up at him and ask, "Something wrong with that?"

"No," he said. "I used to like hiking."

"_Really?_" Bella asked.

"Yes," he said softly as he made his way to sit in the chair. "I have some fond memories of hiking with this girl I knew a few years ago."

I couldn't help but look at him, since I know he was obviously talking about when we went hiking, when we had our first kiss.

"Hey!" Sam said. "I'll be right back!" And with that, she was off to the bathroom.

"Bella," Edward said leaning in towards me. "I have something to tell you. It's important."

"What?" I spat at him. I was suddenly filled with anger again.

"It's Alice."

I felt as if I had been stabbed in the heart yet again, I couldn't imagine something horrible happening to Alice.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I let my defenses down, thinking of the girl who was the best friend I ever had.

"Nothing's wrong," he said, glancing towards the bathroom door. "She called me this morning and she's on her way."

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

He nodded, "She saw that she might be needed, so she caught a flight and should be here early this afternoon."

My thoughts went straight to Alice. I missed her so much it hurt...it hurt for a long time. Then I wondered what she must have seen to make her come. What were we going to tell Sam?

I imagine he thought ahead about my reaction, so he immediately said, "We don't have much time, but do you think you can just act surprised, and pretend you don't know her, at least while Samantha is around?"

I thought about it. That would be hard. It would be hard to control my enthusiasm, but if I didn't then Sam might get hurt. I realized I didn't have a choice, and just before I could say anything, Sam emerged from the bathroom. Edward looked at me and I simply nodded, and a look of relief washed over his face.

"Guess what?" he said to her.

"What?"

"Alice just called, I hope you don't mind but I guess she was bored, so my mom and dad bought her a ticket and she's going to join us."

Sam looked a bit disappointed but then looked up and said, "No, that's fine. I would hate for Alice to be bored. She'll have fun with us, and Izzy, you'll LOVE her! She's the best friend anyone could have!"

Edward looked over at me. I forced a smile to my face and simply nodded. That was all I had the energy for right now. I knew that Alice would be arriving soon and I was exhausted. I also realized I had a long afternoon and night ahead of me, because I told Edward we needed to talk again tonight.

Deciding to make a decision to benefit myself, I stood up and stretched with a yawn, "You know what? I'm exhausted from apparently not sleeping that great last night. It sounds like we're going to be busy this afternoon, and with more company coming I think I better go in and rest up for a bit. Will you two be alright if I go lay down?"

Sam nodded and Edward just looked at me. I smiled at Sam and turned around to walk to my room. I could feel Edward's eyes on me the entire time, and then I walked through my doorway and pushed it closed. Realizing this would be one of the longest days in my life, I sat on my bed and then fell backwards and said to myself aloud, "What the hell can happen next?"

**Thanks for reading...reviews are great and help the writing come faster!**


	17. Chapter 17: West Coast Arrival

Thank you again to Chellie09 for all of her help, and thank you for all the comments on the last chapter! I'm glad you're enjoying the story...here is chapter 17...

**Chapter 17**

**West Coast Arrival**

**BPOV**

I must have been exhausted, because I actually did end up falling asleep for a bit. When I woke up, my clock said it was just before noon. I stretched in my bed and then just laid there with my eyes closed. I knew it was going to be a hard afternoon, so part of me thought if I didn't get out of bed it would stop it all from happening. When I realized I wasn't five years old anymore and that wasn't true, I took in a deep breath to prepare myself, getting up and making my way out into the living room.

Once out there, to my surprise, my apartment was empty. I saw a piece of paper on the counter with a note on it.

_Izzy,_

_We went out to get some lunch, if you want us to bring something back for you, let me know. We gave __Eddie's_ _sister your address, but we should be back before she gets in. I hope you had a good nap, see you soon!_

_Love,_

_Sam_

I looked over at the clock and it was now past noon. Edward said Alice would be here early afternoon and part of me was ecstatic, the other part dreaded it. Alice had been the best friend I ever had, and I didn't know whether it would fill my heart with joy to see her again, or crush it knowing she would be leaving again soon. Either way, hopefully we would be able to stay in touch, because I missed her so much. I missed her almost as much as I missed Edward.

Finding my way to the fridge, I grabbed a bottle of water and pulled out the fixings to make myself a quick sandwich. Once I was done making one, I put everything in the fridge and there was a knock on my door. I made my way over without thinking much of it, and when I opened it, I looked up and saw Alice.

"Alice?" I asked shocked and about ready to cry. "Alice, is that really you?" I had seen so much in the past twenty four hours that I didn't know what to believe anymore.

"Hello!" Alice said excited, and then looked at me with concern in her eyes. "Bella, Bella, Bella, are you alright?"

That's when it happened. I totally broke down; right there in front of Alice, I totally lost it.

"Oh my God! Alice!" I could barely contain myself as the tears swelled in my eyes and rolled down my face. "I...I...I can't believe it's really you!"

I couldn't take it anymore, and I could tell Alice was beginning to get a little nervous at my emotional state. I quickly wrapped both arms around her in a hug and practically pulled her into my apartment.

"Bella...Bella," she said hugging me back. "It's alright, it's alright."

"Oh my God Alice," I said pulling back from her. "You have no idea how much I've missed you. You have no idea at all."

Alice reached back and carefully closed my door, then took off her coat and put her purse down.

"Oh Bella," she said shaking her head, "I forgot how emotional you get."

I couldn't help but chuckle as I wiped away at my tears, and then I couldn't resist another hug. After pulling away, we stood there looking at each other gain.

"Alice," I had to ask, "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't Edward tell you I was coming?" she asked with a questioning look on her face.

"Yes," I said, "But they said they would be back before you got in, so I figured you would be here later."

She smiled and nodded, "Yes, but we figured that it would be better if I got here before them, and officially," she paused for a moment, "arrived after they got back. And judging from your reaction, this was the best choice."

I inhaled a deep breath and wiped the final tears away with my hand. I was so happy Alice was here, but it brought more questions.

"Are you alright?" she asked me again as she walked to my sofa. "Come sit down."

She looked over at the counter and she must have noticed my sandwich sitting there.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No," I said, "Not now."

"Bella," she said with a scolding look as she ran and got my sandwich to bring to me, "You have to eat. You need to keep up your strength."

I knew this, and so I did as I was told.

"So what are you doing here?" I asked. I had my assumptions, but I wanted to know.

"I saw that Edward was getting frustrated," she said with a cautioning look at me. "And I could only imagine being in your shoes." She reached over and put her comforting hand on my shoulder with a smile, "Then with him so near you, I could see that you needed someone in your corner."

"Alice," I said between bites of my lunch, "So much has happened. When you all up and left, I didn't know what to do. It was as if I forgot how to live. I never thought I was going to see you again," I paused, "Any of you..."

"Well apparently that was never meant to be," she said in her perky voice.

I smiled, but there was still so much going on, so many variables, so many more questions, and so more to understand. Then I noticed Alice's face freeze.

"What is it?" I asked.

"They're just about here," she said standing up. "I have to go, but I'll be back."

"Promise me," I said, standing up with her. "Promise me you'll be back."

"I promise Bella," she said with a hug. "I'll be right back. I'm not going anywhere."

With those words, I watched as Alice made her way through my bedroom door, and I imagined made her way outside to make her reentrance shortly.

Just a few minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I made sure that my face was dry from tears, and made my way over to the door. When I answered it, there stood Sam and Edward. Samantha was laughing lightly, and Edward's eyes made their way straight to me. I immediately turned, as they made their way into the apartment.

"Are you feeling better Izzy?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," I snapped, picking up my sandwich plate, taking the last bite and walking to the kitchen to place it in the sink. "I think I really needed a nap, since I didn't get much sleep last night."

I turned to face them and Edward's eyes were still on me, his face looked hurt, and his body was rigid.

"I'll be right back." Sam said as she headed towards the bathroom. When the door was closed, Edward was immediately beside me.

"You've been crying," he stated. It wasn't a question.

"Yes," I said running my hands over my eyes, they must still be red and blotchy. I looked up at him and the look of pain on his face was worse now.

"Did she say something to make you cry?" he asked, obviously knowing that Alice had been here.

"Yes," I said, and his eyes immediately widened, "She said 'Hello'."

He had a look on confusion on his face; I'm sure asking himself why his sister saying 'Hello' would make me cry.

"I've missed her so much," I said with the tears threatening me again. "I missed you all so much. It just was so emotional to see her again, especially with everything currently going on."

"She is on her way up," he said quietly as we heard the bathroom door open.

"What?" I whispered, and his head motioned towards the apartment door.

Sam made her way over to us and started talking about the hike they went on over by the park, and then there was a knock on the door.

"That must be Alice!" she stated happily, she had no idea how happy it made me too. She walked over and opened the door allowing Alice inside.

Sam gave her a hug, which Alice reciprocated, then she made her way over to Edward, and you could tell they were having a private conversation with the scolding look in Alice's eyes, and the apologetic look in Edward's.

"How was your flight?" he asked as she hugged him. \

"Good, and thanks for letting me guys join you," Alice said. "I hope you don't mind, but I was totally bored, and when mom and dad offered, I jumped on the chance!"

Alice then looked at me with a quick wink and said, "And you must be Izzy!"

I nodded and she made her way to my side.

I couldn't help but smile as she wrapped me up in a hug. It reminded me again how much I missed her.

"So," she asked, "What are the plans for the rest of the day?"

"I don't know," Sam said looking around at everyone, "Any ideas?"

Then she paused, staring at me, at my arm to be precise.

"Oh my god Izzy," Sam said, "When did you get that bruise on your arm?"

I was blank. I had no idea what to say anymore, or even what to think. I could see that Edward's jaw was clenched and his body was rigid.

"I'm kinda tired," Alice looked at me quickly changing the subject, then at Edward saying, "I'm sorry to be a party pooper, but Edw..._Eddie_, maybe you could give me directions back to your hotel, and I can rest up and maybe we can do something tonight as a group?"

Obviously hearing something from his sister, he nodded in agreement. He grabbed his coat, and Alice's things, and Alice gave me a big hug.

"It was nice to see you Bella," she said. Then she whispered in my ear with her hug, "I'll meet you in your room as soon as Edward is back in the door."

I couldn't help but smile. With that, Alice said good-bye to Sam and Edward walked her outside. This was all so messed up, but somehow I felt better that Alice was here.

**EPOV**

"What are you doing Alice?" I asked as soon as we were outside the building.

"She needs someone Edward," she said to me. "I don't know how you don't see it, but she's crushed, and confused. I'm going to try to help her."

"Thank you Alice," I said, that was all that seemed to come out.

"Now," she said to me with a warning tone in her voice, "I'm going to help her, and I'm "team Bella" here Edward! I was against you, and us, leaving in the first place, so you're going to have to find your way out of this mess."

"She's agreed to talk again tonight, like we did last night," I stated.

"Fine," she said as we stood outside talking. "But I'm telling you, I'm going to try to soften things, and give her a different view of all of this, but I can't tell you how she's going to react to it."

I nodded.

"And Edward," she said, "You better as hell make up your mind about what you want, _who_ you want. Because now there is a woman, and a girl, up there who both have feelings for you."

_Bella still has feelings for me? How did Alice know this?_

"_You men are such idiots, and I know her Edward. I can tell she still has feelings for you." _she said mentally, "_But just because she has feelings for you, and I know you still have feelings for her, it doesn't mean it's going to work out. Remember that,_ _she's a human and you broke her. It's going to take some time to put her back together again."_

I closed my eyes at the thought of Bella, broken. I can only imagine what she went through, and if I didn't know any better, I'm sure I will have a clear picture of it after Alice has some time with her.

With that thought, Alice came over to me and put her hand on my shoulder, "I can't go up and talk to her with you here. I told her I'd be up as soon as you walked through the door."

I nodded and was immediately on my way upstairs. As soon as I walked through the door, I saw Bella and Samantha sitting on the sofa chatting, and I could tell Bella was nervous when she saw me come in. She turned around and said, "So, Eddie, Sam said she wants to sit here and watch a movie. How does that sound?"

I wasn't really in the mood for that. But, whatever they wanted to do was fine with me.

"That's fine. What are we watching?" I asked sitting down in the chair.

Bella replied, "You two are going to watch whatever you can find in my DVD collection, or on pay-per-view, but I have to go in my room and do some things for work for a bit." After she said this she looked up at me since she knew I was aware of what was happening. I simply nodded to let her know that I understood, and she wished us a good time.

**BPOV**

I ran into the hall, and then found my way to my bedroom closing the door behind me as quickly as I could.

"Alice? Alice?" I whispered, looking around my room.

"I'm here!" she said, bouncing out from behind my door.

We again hugged as if we hadn't just seen each other in the living room. As the tears came out of my eyes, I didn't care anymore.

"There, there Bella," Alice said trying to comfort me. "I'm here. I'm here to help; everything is going to be alright."

I pulled away and shook my head, "I don't see how Alice! Everything is happening so fast. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think, and I don't know what to say."

"Well let's just talk, alright?" Alice suggested as we both sat on my bed.

"Alright," I said sitting on my bed, grabbing some tissues from my nightstand. "What do we talk about first?"

"I know it will be hard, but why don't you tell me about what has happened since we last saw each other?"

I sat there in shock. She seriously wanted me to tell her everything that has happened? I didn't know if I could. She sat there patiently waiting for me to start talking, so I figured she would never give up.

"When he left, I fell apart," I stated simply, "I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I hardly lived. I was a ghost. Charlie was about ready to call in professional help for me, and then wanted to ship me off to Jacksonville to be with Renee, but I refused."

I looked over at Alice who looked as if she would be in tears if she could be, and I grabbed a pillow, hugging it for some comfort and continued.

"After three months of no sleep, no eating, I finally gave into Charlie's demands. If I didn't start to live again, he was going to force me to do things I wasn't ready to do, and I didn't have the strength to fight him. I began to interact more at school, forced myself to do things I knew I wasn't ready for yet, but eventually found my crutch."

"Your crutch?" she asked with a very confused look on her face.

"Yeah, I guess you could call him that," I said quietly glancing down at my pillow, and then back up at her. "Jacob Black. He is a family friend from when I was a kid. We used to play together when I was little."

She gave me a questioning glance.

"I spent time with him on the reservation, he's a Quileute."

I couldn't miss Alice's reaction to that, for whatever reason, her eyes were huge, and then she told me to continue.

"I would go there after school and on weekends and we would hang out. I got the bright idea of extreme sports for a while, because it got my mind off of Edward; and sometimes I thought I would even hear his voice telling me to be careful." I couldn't help but smile at those memories. "So we would dirt bike and stuff like that."

"Wow, Bella Swan into extreme sports, I never thought you would live through such a thing," Alice said with what seemed to be a forced smile. "And what happened with you and this Jacob Black?"

"Nothing," I chuckled. "We're just friends. I guess he would kinda be my best friend," I paused, looking up at Alice, "lately."

"I'm sorry Bella," she said. "I didn't want to leave, but he made us. He didn't want any of us involved in your life at all. He didn't even want me to watch out for you."

"And you listened to him?" I whispered; a bit annoyed at Alice, "I wouldn't have expected that from Alice Cullen."

"I shouldn't have," she said with a sad look on her face. "I realize that now. I didn't want to, but the rest of the family convinced me that this was Edward's decision to make, and I needed to do what he asked of us, to be supportive."

I nodded. I understood that as a family they needed to support each other, but it still hurt.

"So I eventually graduated from Forks High, and then came down to California for college to get out of there, and get away from the memories. When I graduated from college in the spring, I moved up here and started teaching."

"We're all so proud of you Bella," she said giving me a hug. "Really, we are. We're proud of how you were able to move on and put your life together, and be successful. We wish Edward would have been able to do as much."

"What do you mean Alice? I would hardly say that my life is together and successful. I still feel as if I am barely living, even before you guys reappeared. I barely graduated from Forks due to not living for so long, and yes, I did graduate from college and managed to get a job, but what other choice did I have?"

"Bella, at least you did something. My brother has done nothing! He traveled the globe for months and barely survived, and then came home and did absolutely nothing until I forced him into joining the world of the living," Alice said. "He had no life since he left Bella, absolutely nothing."

"Apparently not _nothing_," I said, annoyed a bit at this point.

"What do you mean by that Bella?"

"Apparently not nothing," I said again. "He apparently has been busy with something, or _someone_."

**Thank you for any reviews : )**


	18. Chapter 18: Thanks to Alice

**Thanks to Chellie09 for helping me through this one...I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 18**

**Thanks to Alice**

**EPOV**

She ran into the hall, and then found her way to her bedroom closing the door behind her as quickly as she could.

I kept my eyes on the television the entire time, as I was supposed to be watching a movie with Samantha, but of course my thoughts were filled with Bella now. I couldn't help myself but listen into Alice's thoughts.

"Alice? Alice?" she was whispering, I'm guessing she was looking around the room for Alice.

"I'm here!" Alice said.

"_Oh __Bella, __why are you crying? I hate to see you crying!" _Alice thought.

"There, there Bella," Alice said trying to comfort her. "I'm here. I'm here to help; everything is going to be alright."

"I don't see how Alice! Everything is happening so fast. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think, and I don't know what to say," Bella said.

I couldn't help but relate with Bella. The only time I have ever felt so lost was when I was away from her, now I am confused, but still feel lost without her by my side. I don't know what to say to her, and I don't know how to handle this whole situation. I shifted my body as one of my human behaviors.

"Well let's just talk, alright?" Alice suggested.

"Alright," Bella said. "What do we talk about first?"

"I know it will be hard, but why don't you tell me about what has happened since we last saw each other?" Alice asked.

"_I know you can hear me Edward," _Alice thought. "_You have to hear this."_

I sat there in shock. I don't know if I was ready to hear this. Bella had told me how she felt, but I had a feeling she was holding back. I couldn't even imagine how brutal she would be about me to Alice.

"When he left, I fell apart," I stated simply, "I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I hardly lived. I was a ghost. Charlie was about ready to call in professional help for me, and then wanted to ship me off to Jacksonville to be with Renee, but I refused."

The images in my head automatically went to the worst case scenario. I could picture Bella losing weight, looking unhealthy and doing nothing. She wasn't the Bella I knew at all. I could picture in my head the dark circles under her eyes and lethargic behavior. I could only imagine how worried Charlie was. _Why would she do that to herself? I asked her to be careful hadn't I? Didn't she understand that she had to take care of herself?_ I continued to listen.

"After three months of no sleep, no eating, I finally gave into Charlie's demands. If I didn't start to live again, he was going to force me to do things I wasn't ready to do, and I didn't have the strength to fight him. I began to interact more at school, forced myself to do things I knew I wasn't ready for yet, but eventually found my crutch."

"Your crutch?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, I guess you could call him that," Bella mumbled. "Jacob Black. He is a family friend from when I was a kid. We used to play together when I was little."

"_Jacob Black?" _Alice asked me.

_Jacob Black? That couldn't be the grandson of the __Ephraim_ _Black,_ _could_ _it? Did I leave Bella to try to keep her safe, just for her to run into the arms of a worse monster? _Then she continued talking, so I listened.

"I spent time with him on the reservation, he's a Quileute."

"_Edward? Edward! Did you hear that?" _Alice asked me in thought. "_He has to be related. We have to talk to Carlisle."_

I closed my eyes as I sat there, and inhaled a deep breath to try to calm me, but it was no use. I couldn't just sit there anymore. I had done this; it was nobody's fault but my own. If I hadn't made such a rash decision, none of this would have ever happened and I'm sure Bella and I would be together.

"I'm going to run into the bathroom, alright?" I told Samantha as I stood up and walked in that direction. She simply nodded and continued with the movie. After finding my way to the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and paced in the small room as I continued to listen. There wasn't much space to turn around in, but I needed to be out of Samantha's view.

"I would go there after school and on weekends and we would hang out. I got the bright idea of extreme sports for a while, because it got my mind off of Edward; and sometimes I thought I would even hear his voice telling me to be careful. So we would dirt bike and stuff like that."

_She promised she would be safe, and she turned around and __rode dirt bikes__?_ _She's lucky she didn't kill herself! What would have happened if she had been careless? How could he allow her to be so careless? I wouldn't be able to live in a world where she no longer existed, because it would have been __my entire_ _fault. What have I done? _

"Wow, Bella Swan into extreme sports, I never thought you would live through such a thing," Alice said. "And what happened with you and this Jacob Black?"

"Nothing," she chuckled. "We're just friends. I guess he would kinda be my best friend," she paused, "lately."

"I'm sorry Bella," Alice said. "I didn't want to leave, but he made us. He didn't want any of us involved in your life at all. He didn't even want me to watch out for you."

"_Do you see what you __did?_ _Do __you Edward?" _Alice said to me. "_You thought she would be better off, and is she? I tried to tell you, we all tried to tell you!"_

"And you listened to him?" she whispered; sounding a bit annoyed, "I wouldn't have expected that from Alice Cullen."

"I shouldn't have," Alice said.

"_I shouldn't have Edward. YOU shouldn't __have,_" she screamed to me in her thoughts.

"I realize that now. I didn't want to, but the rest of the family convinced me that this was Edward's decision to make, and I needed to do what he asked of us, to be supportive."

"_Edward, __she_'_s_ _crushed. I have never seen a human look this __devastated,_" Alice thought to me_._

The vision in my head was of Bella, that day that I left her in the woods behind her house. I had never seen _her_ so devastated. Before I knew it, my hand was on the towel rack hanging on her wall, and it instantly bent in my grasp. In my hand, I brought it up in front of me, where I bent it back into shape as best as I could, and returned it to the wall. I would have to purchase her a new one before I left.

"So I eventually graduated from Forks High, and then came down to California for college to get out of there, and get away from the memories. When I graduated from college in the spring, I moved up here and started teaching."

I always knew she would be successful; at least I enabled her to have those human experiences by being away. In my mind, I saw her wearing a cap and gown getting her diplomas. I had done it so many times that I took it for granted, but as a human, going through those milestones for the first time, I can only imagine how proud Charlie was, how proud I would have been to watch her myself.

"We're all so proud of you Bella," Alice said. "Really, we are. We're proud of how you were able to move on and put your life together, and be successful. We wish Edward would have been able to do as much."

I was so proud of her. If I had changed her that night at the prom like she wanted me to, she wouldn't have any of this, not now anyway.

"What do you mean Alice? I would hardly say that my life is together and successful. I still feel as if I am barely living, even before you guys reappeared. I barely graduated from Forks due to not living for so long, and yes, I did graduate from college and managed to get a job, but what other choice did I have?"

"Bella, at least you did something. My brother has done nothing! He traveled the globe for months and barely survived, and then came home and did absolutely nothing until I forced him into joining the world of the living," Alice said. "He had no life since he left Bella, absolutely nothing."

"Apparently not _nothing_," she said, sounding a bit annoyed.

"What do you mean by that Bella?" Alice asked her.

"Apparently not nothing," she said again. "He apparently has been busy with something, or _someone_."

Even without a live, beating heart, I felt as if mine had been stabbed and ripped out of my chest. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking right now. This was the first time it really hit me; I mean _really _hit me. How could I be so stupid? I loved Bella with all of my being, and left her to keep her safe. I didn't keep her safe; I almost killed her, and drove her into the arms of someone who could be a worse monster than I am. _I wonder if she knew?_ While she was growing closer with some descendant of a dog, I let Alice talk me into living again, and fate drew me towards Bella's cousin. I couldn't take it anymore. I exited the bathroom and found my way towards the apartment door.

"_Edward, don't_!" I heard Alice scream to me, "_Don't leave"._

"What's wrong?" Samantha asked.

"I have to get some fresh air. I'm not feeling so good. I'll be back later, alright?"

Surprisingly, she didn't question me, and got back into her movie.

Once outside the door, I found my way downstairs and stood outside the door, pacing back and forth to try to calm myself down. Before I knew it, I inhaled a breath to try to calm me and I could smell it.

"Bella?" I asked as I turned around. I would know that heavenly scent anywhere.

"Edward," Alice said. "You two need some time, a lot of time, to figure this out. I'm going to take Samantha out for a bit so you two talk a while."

Alice looked between the two of us; I was on one side of her, and Bella, with her tear stained face, was on the other breaking my heart.

"_She's fragile Edward," _Alice told me silently. "_I see this working out, if you just listen to each other. It won't be easy, but I see it Edward. She still loves you, I know it."_

"But what about..." I began to ask before I hear her again.

"_Stop! I will help as much as I can, but as soon as she started opening up to me, I saw you two together."_

I wasn't sure how that made me feel; I was now a bit nervous, anxious, worried, yet hopeful all at the same time.

Before I knew it, Alice was gone, and it was just Bella and I alone again.

"Bella?" I said shaking my head. "I'm sorry. I thought..."

She cut me off, "Don't. I think you did enough thinking for a while. Now it's time for some explanations."

**  
**She cut me off, "Don't. I think you did enough thinking for a while. Now it's time for some explanations."

I grabbed Bella and pulled her to the back of the building.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a look of disgust on her face. I brought my index finger up to my lips to show her that she needed to be quiet.

"Alice and Samantha are on their way down," I whispered.

"_I left the door unlocked __Edward,_" _Alice said to me as they made their way downstairs._

Not a minute later we watched as the two girls exited the building and made their way to Alice's rental car. Once they were on their way to wherever they were going I pulled Bella to the door.

"Shall we talk upstairs?" I asked.

She nodded and I opened the door for her and followed her inside. Once upstairs to her apartment, I opened the door and nodded for her to go first, and then I followed her in and closed the door behind me, locking it to make sure we had our privacy. She went straight for the kitchen to get a drink and I followed her.

"So," I said, truly not sure what was going to happen, "what questions do you want answers to?" I was sure I knew some of them, but now was when I desperately wished I could read her mind.

She inhaled a deep breath, I'm pretty sure it was to calm herself, and then she began more bluntly than I expected, "Do you love me?"

"Pardon me?" I asked a bit confused.

"Do you love me?" she asked. "Do you still love me? It's not a difficult question, Edward. Do you still honestly love me?"

I paused, not quite sure how to answer that. Wanting her to be as comfortable as possible, I motioned for her to come to the comfort of the living room for this discussion.

"I do," I said bluntly as she sat on her sofa.

I looked over at her, and she had a look of shock on her face.

"Then how could you do it?" she asked as I noticed her eyes filling with tears. "How could you do it?"

Not wanting to assume what she was asking me, I asked her to clarify, "How could I do what?"

"_How could you do what?"_ she asked, clearly angry now. She stood up and walked over, standing right in front of me then asked, "You seriously don't know what I'm asking you about?"

"Bella," I said, "you know I can't read your mind."

Just after those words escaped my mouth her heartbeat escalated, I could see the rage in her eyes, then her right hand immediately raised to her side and swung towards me. The instant I noticed this, I quickly raised my hand and grabbed her wrist, not allowing her open hand contact with my body as she intended it to.

"Bella," I said sadly, "I know I've heart you emotionally, but I'm not going to allow me to hurt you physically by you trying to hit me."

The tears were flowing freely from her eyes now, streaming down her face. "How could you leave me and fall in love again?" Her breathing became more erratic and the tears streamed from her eyes harder, "I loved you. I wanted nothing more than to be with you, be like you for eternity. I understand why you left, I told you that, and then you fall in love again after you tell me I'm the only one for you? You fall in love with a human—my _cousin_? I'm just having trouble comprehending all of this, Edward."

"Love?" I asked her. "Who said anything about falling in love?"

"Samantha? You're here with her because you love her right?" she asked me as she fell into the chair next to her.

I knelt down next to Bella and looked her straight in her eyes. "What I told you before, and what Alice told you is the truth." I attempted to grab her hand to try to comfort her while I explained, but she wouldn't let me anywhere near it, so I continued anyway.

"Bella, you were my entire life. You _are_ my entire life. You have been since the moment I met you; there is no other choice for me." I looked up for a reaction from her, and continued when I didn't see much of one, "You said you understand why I left."

She nodded as she rubbed her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

"After I left, I roamed around this planet lost. I was lost and broken, Bella, and now I know you were too," I said. "When I finally decided to return to my family, I was still lost. Carlisle forced me to return to school with the rest of the family and that is where I met Samantha."

Bella looked up at me and I noticed that her heartbeat slowed a bit.

"Trust me Bella; I have not been looking for love anywhere else," I sighed. "I had come to the conclusion that I would never love again. I would never have a mate like the rest of my family; I would never be happy."

Bella's eyes made their way to mine. I wished she would forgive me, but didn't ever expect it; I just wanted her to know the truth.

"When we started in school, Alice became friends with Samantha, and there was something about her that I sensed," I said. "I could smell her."

"Her blood?" she asked, and I nodded yes.

"Did she smell to you like I do?" she asked softly.

"Not nearly as heavenly," I honestly said. "Now that I know the situation, I know why the scent drew me in."

"Can you hear her thoughts?" she asked next.

"I can," I said. "And I can't."

Bella immediately looked at me with a confused look on her face.

"At times I can, and at times I can't. It's odd," I said. "The only other time I've had anything like it was with your father, though I could hear him most of the time."

She sat there and closed her eyes. I know this was a lot for her to take in, but she needed to hear it, she wanted to, and she deserved to know the answers to all of her questions. I gave her time to comprehend it all. However long it would take her, I would wait.

"So what are you going to do?" she finally asked, almost in a whisper.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "What do you want me to do?"

Her eyes immediately opened and looked straight at me.

"Edward," she said, "it's not my choice. What do _you_ want to do?"

"I want to be with you," I confessed. "I always wanted to. I couldn't believe that you believed me when I left. It is part of my nature, Bella. I will always love you and want to be with you, I don't want to leave you unless you order me away."

"I can't take this anymore Edward!" she said standing up, starting to pace the room. "I just can't believe this is all happening. I never thought I would ever see you again and now this!"

I noticed immediately that her heart rate picked up.

"Bella," I cautioned her as I stood up. "Settle down Bella, your heartbeat..."

**BPOV**

"Edward!" I yelled. "I'm fine!"

I _was_ feeling a bit faint, so I decided to sit down and take a sip of my water.

"Bella," he said sitting down beside me, "you have to settle down."

"Edward," I said trying to keep myself settled. "I am trying." I looked straight into his eyes, I think part of me was searching for that soul of his he didn't think he had. "You have to understand, I thought you were gone. It was as if you were dead. You told me that I would never see you again, and I did my best to come to grips with that."

I placed my water back on the table, placed my hands in my lap and looked back into his eyes, "I loved you. You have no idea how much I loved you. I never thought that feeling would ever overcome me like it did with you. This..." I paused, "this is just a lot for me to take in. I know you have all of the time in the world, but I don't. It is just a lot for me right now."

"What do you want me to do Bella?" he asked, looking deeply into my eyes. "I will do whatever you want me to do. I will walk away right now and you will never see me again, or I will stay and never leave your side if that is your wish."

I had no idea what to say. I hated him, yet I still adored him. I hoped he had felt the pain I felt for so many years, and a part of me still loved him; I just didn't know exactly what to do with that.

"I need to get out for a bit," I stated. "I need to spend some time with Samantha tonight." Just after I said this, I saw his face fall. "You and Alice are more than welcome to join us, and I'm sure Sam would like that."

He nodded.

"I just need to clear my head a bit," I said. "I think getting out of here will help."

"They're on their way back," he said quietly.

I continued to sit there and just nodded. If he was going to break up with Sam, and she knew it was for me, I would probably not have the relationship with her that I have had; I needed at least one more night with my cousin.

"It's up to you Edward," I said as I moved my hand over to gently touch his knee. "Whatever you choose is fine." I smiled as best as I could and then stood up to go get ready.

"Where are we going?" he asked as he stood up alongside of me.

"Out to a local bar I like to go to," I said and then chuckled. "I know Samantha's not old enough, but I know you and Alice won't be drinking, so you can keep her company."

As I left for my bedroom, I noticed he had a questioning look on his face. He had never seen this side of me, but it was a side I had developed while living through those normal human experiences he wanted me to have.

Once in my room, I closed the door and plopped on my bed. I really had no idea what I was doing, but needed to go let loose and have some fun. I threw on a pair of my skinny jeans, one of my nicer tops and then threw on a pair of boots. After zipping them up, I went in to the bathroom, messed with my hair a bit, and threw on a bit of make-up to look presentable. When I was about ready I heard the front door open and then close, so I stepped out. I heard Sam say a quick hello to Edward and knew Alice was with her.

"Izzy!" Sam yelled, "Where are you?"

"Over here Sam!" I yelled as she came over to me.

"Where are you going?" she asked looking at me.

"WE are going out." I said with a smile.

"Woo! Are we going to Dave's?" she asked with a smile, and I nodded.

"What's Dave's?" Alice asked as she came over to me. I looked up at Edward who didn't look too thrilled.

"It's a little bar slash restaurant down the street." I said, "Sam and I go there all the time when she visits."

"I play a mean game of pool!" she announced as she found her way over to Edward, who was still standing rigid as she attempted to lace her arm around him.

"Yes she does." I said with a chuckle.

"We're in!" Alice chimed in, "But I think we need to go change real quick. Do we have time?"

"Sure," I said, "I'll give you directions, and you can just meet us there when you're done."

"Great!" Alice said as she made her way over to Edward, "Let's go get changed and we'll be back before they can miss us."

"Yep!" Sam said as she reached up to give him a kiss, which he didn't reciprocate, "Don't wait too long."

"Fine," he said, "We'll meet you there."

"I'll text you the directions." Sam said to him, and he politely nodded.

As they made their way out the door, Alice turned and smiled and Edward glared at me. I figured that this should be an interesting evening.

_**Thanks for all the reviews...get all of the venting off your chest! ; )**_


	19. Chapter 19: Liquid Courage

**EPOV**

"What is going on?" I asked Alice, honestly confused.

"Don't you get it Edward?" she asked as we started on the way to the hotel to change, obviously annoyed, "She needs to get out, get some fresh air, forget about this all for a bit. She needs to live the life she's been living before we came back."

"_You don't realize how stressful this is for her. You have to remember she's still human." _Alice silently told me.

"And she will stay that way as long as I have a say in the matter." I spat back at her.

"Edward," she said as I placed the car in park in the parking lot, "Don't be stupid, again. If you want to be with her, and I know you do; and if she wants to be with you, and I know she does, you are both going to have to give and take. Haven't you realized that you can't always have your own way?"

I thought about that, and she was right. We still have to work out many things, but I was hoping Alice's subjective vision was correct with seeing us together. After I snapped out of my thoughts, I headed with Alice into the hotel and we quickly changed clothes. While in the room, I received the text from Samantha with the address, so we left and easily found it. When we walked into the building, I immediately sensed Bella sitting up at the bar and looked that way. I didn't like the sight I saw, it surely wasn't the same Bella I knew and loved.

**BPOV**

I sensed he was here watching me, so I turned around and of course, there he was. I had enough sense to already have a few beers in me to help loosen up before they arrived, and it was working. I smiled and immediately finished the beer in front of me and ordered another one. I could see the look of disapproval on his face, but I honestly didn't care; I needed to do this for me.

I grabbed my new drink and headed over to the other side of the restaurant where Sam was sipping on a soda getting ready to set up the pool table. Alice and Edward followed me in where Samantha was very pleased to see who had arrived.

"Good, you found the place!" Sam said finding her way over to Edward and Alice, "You wanna play?"

Alice looked at Edward and then over at me then said, "Sure! Is Izzy playing?"

"No!" Sam laughed, "Last time she played, it was a disaster. I don't think she's allowed near the table anymore to tell you the truth." I couldn't help but chuckling the last time I tried to play, when Jake and Sam were here, it was a disaster.

"Edward?" Alice asked.

"I think I'm going to sit this one out Alice." he stated, then found a booth to sit at beside the table.

"Izzy, why don't you join him?" Sam asked me quietly, "I want you to get to know him." I smiled, and then made sure I had my drink in hand as I found my way to the booth.

"So." Edward said.

"So." I said with a bit of a smile.

"Bella?" the waiter asked with a smile as he pointed to my drink, "You want another one?"

"Sure." I said, "thanks!" I honestly didn't remember his name, but we were friendly and knew each other from the few times I frequented.

"So," Edward began, "Do you come here a lot?"

"Sometimes." I said as I took a drink from the amber bottle, "Depends on my mood. When Sam stayed with me before we came here to get her out of the house and have some fun playing pool."

He simply nodded with a smile as I downed the next beer of the evening which was brought to the table. I had lost count of how many I had, but and I quickly ordered another one.

"Do you do this a lot?" he asked, pointing to the bottles.

"Not usually," I said, "Mainly when I'm stressed." I looked directly up at him and took another drink from the bottle and continued, "Sometimes a group of us form work will go out after work on Fridays to de-stress or celebrate."

"I think you might wanna slow down a bit." he suggested.

"Why?" I asked, feeling in my head why he was suggesting it, but by this point I was unable to stop my mouth and didn't really care, "Are you going to get upset and leave?"

He looked at me with a rigid look on his face. He looked over at Alice and Sam, then looked back over at me. Alice looked over towards us, and I'm sure they were having one of their silent conversations.

"I mean," I started to chuckle to myself as my next beer was brought to the table, "It's just hilarious! I know you care so much for, shall we call it, humanity? You lead your prey along until you're done with it, leave it to suffer alone, and then you go and prey on another unsuspecting victim."

The look on his face now was one mixed with anger and frustration, but for some reason I was enjoying it, so I took another long sip from the bottle which supplied my courage.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" I asked sarcastically, "Or maybe I should specify,_ mountain lion_? Did the sick, masochistic lion, fall in love with another stupid lamb?"

If looks could kill, I would probably be dead right now. Part of me was bothered by this, but another part of me was enjoying every minute of putting him through this agony and finally getting some relief off of my chest.

"Hey you two," Alice said coming over to the table with Sam, "Everything going alright?"

"Everything's fine," I said with a smile, "Isn't it Eddie? We're just sitting here chatting."

As I took another drink from the bottle in my hand, Edward looked straight at me with a look of disgust on his face.

"Alice," he said, eyes still fixated on me, "I think I am ready to go. I'm suddenly not feeling so well."

"But we just got here." Alice whined, and I could see Sam was disappointed with the thought of him leaving.

"Why don't you go play pool?" I suggested, "Take Alice's place and go play with your girl Sam!"

He looked at me and then at Alice, and then slid out of the booth and took the pole from Alice to play pool with Sam.

"What's going on Bella?" Alice whispered over the table at me.

"What do you mean," I paused to finish off my beer, "Oh dear Alice Cullen?"

"Bella," she said looking around, "What are you trying to do? Are you trying to ruin this?"

"Ruin what?" I asked harshly, "Alice, there is honestly nothing to ruin between us. Is there something I should know?"

"Bella," she said, "You're drunk, that is obvious, so it's not worth having this conversation with you right now."

"Come on Alice." I whined, I could feel what she was talking about, I knew that I was a cheap date.

"I'm warning you," she said harshly, "He is trying to make things right, don't ruin this Bella!"

"Are you ready to go Izzy?" Sam asked as she made her way over to the table, "You don't look so good." This night hadn't been the one I wanted with her, and I regretted it.

"Sure," I said, "Let's get back to the apartment." I stood up and it took a minute to find my balance. Luckily I had a tab, so I didn't need to worry about the bill.

"Eddie," Sam said as she stood next to me to help with my balance, "Can you walk with her? I think she's going to need some help, and I don't think I can do it."

"I'll be fine." I announced, and then proceeded to just about fall flat on my face with my first step. Before I knew it, there were a set of cold, hard arms around me, keeping me from hitting the ground. I inhaled sharply, and then turned around to see Edward's face staring at me as he helped me to my feet again. The look on his face had a softened look of guilt and concern as his eyes concentrated on mine.

"Thanks." I said quietly, and he nodded.

We walked back to my apartment, Edward kept his arm around me, per Sam's request, to make sure I made it back in one piece. Once back at the apartment, she had him help me into my bedroom, and then she said good night to Alice and Edward before making sure I was safely in bed for the night.

**EPOV**

"I have to Alice." I said once we left Sam and Bella.

"Why Edward?" she said, "It could make things worse. I'm not seeing anything clearly anymore."

"It can get worse?" I couldn't believe she seriously said that, "Did you hear what she said?"

Alice couldn't deny it, and she slowly nodded and put her head down.

I grabbed a piece of paper out of the glove box, used a pen from Alice's purse to scribble on it, then looked up at Bella's window.

"I'll be right back." I announced.

Before Alice could stop me, I checked around and carefully made my way up the tree to her bedroom window, opened it just enough for me to get inside, placed the note on her nightstand, and then returned to Alice.

"I'm not seeing how this turns out." Alice said shaking her head.

"We'll find out soon enough." I said as I sat in my car, then Alice joined me.

"What do you think she will choose?" she asked quietly as we waited.

"I don't know," I said honestly, "I don't know."

**BPOV**

_We slowly fell upon my bed, embracing, kissing, and caressing. We had already gone further than he would have let us before tonight. Before I knew it, we were both undressed, lying flesh to flesh._

_Edward was very gentle with me, though I could tell he was having difficulty with his control. I craved him desperately, but tried to make it as easy for him as I could. He was always afraid that he would lose control, and I didn't want him to worry about that, not now. His fingers trailed over my skin as his lips did the same. His lips acted as if they wanted to taste every spot on my body, and I wanted them to. He kissed the hollows of my throat and had to have felt my pulse racing under his tongue. I could only imagine how difficult that was for him. His lips made their way to my left breast along with his tongue. I arched up towards him and inhaled deeply, unable to control myself as his hands found their way down to where I longed them to be. When he didn't stop his actions with my reaction, I knew he was committed to this._

_I was caught up in the wonderful spiral as I raced towards my peak. I ran my hands over his strong back, and couldn't help but feel them ripple with each movement, I couldn't help but love the feel of it under my hands. I loved the contact of our flesh clinging together, even though he was eternally cold, I could feel it aflame with passion, along with my own._

_His fingers teased over my skin, exciting every area he stroked. He loved the way I was responding to him, and his body intensified its siege on mine. He caressed me tenderly and urgently. He seemed as if he wanted to savor this for hours, continuing to give me pleasure. _

_His fingers continued to explore my body, slowly making their way down to where he had never ventured before tonight. Edward was making me feel so alive, so whole, so strong and so brave, as if anything were possible. He was kind, good, tender, and unique; it was as if he was waiting for me to give him direction, not wanting to hurt me._

_When he thrust into me, there was only a brief instant of discomfort. I looked up and saw him staring directly into my eyes, hesitating a few minutes as we both adjusted, and he made sure I wasn't hurt. After assuring him again and again that I was fine, he leaned down to my ear and inhaled deeply several times trying to calm himself down. His breaths on my ear caused me to wrap my arms around him tightly, and I couldn't resist spreading kisses all over his face to let him know that I was fine, and ready. I heard him moan and felt his embrace tighten. I wasn't experienced, but I knew he was reeling from pleasure and desire and we both felt the urgent need to continue._

_As he began to move within me, I caught his patten and pace. We were both stimulated beyond caution and restraint. We labored together lovingly until bliss seemed to burst around us. We kissed and caressed as we rode out the beautiful storm of passion. _

_We gradually relaxed in each others arms and closed our eyes to savor the moment of this experience. Edward laid on his back and I nestled against his side with my arm resting over his chest. He pulled my blanket over our bodies, then one of his hands covered mine and the other wrapped around my bare shoulders. I had never been so happy._

I had no idea what time it was when I suddenly woke up from that dream. It was dark outside and the seemingly bright red lights on my alarm clock were killing me. I grabbed my head and closed my eyes as much as I could with still being able to see the time on the alarm. It was just after 2 AM.

"What the hell was that?" I asked myself, followed by, "What the fuck did I do?" I mumbled to myself a I rubbed my head. It was now throbbing, I needed to get some water and Tylenol fast. I managed to sit myself up in the bed but saw exactly what I was looking for on my nightstand. I grabbed the glass of water, and opened the bottle of pills and took three, hoping they would make me feel better soon, though I doubted it.

I laid back down and closed my eyes. I remembered that we were going to Dave's, but I didn't really remember much more than that, but for some reason I thought there was something I should be remembering, though my thoughts kept returning to that dream. _Could I really still feel like that?_

It was then, that I rolled onto my side, now facing that blaring alarm clock, and noticed a sheet of paper sitting there. I didn't remember placing it there, so I picked it up, and turned the light on next to my bed. I then cursed myself for doing it, but gave my eyes time to adjust before reading it.

_Bella,_

_After tonight, I would understand if you never wanted to see or hear from me again. I heard how you feel, and I truly am sorry for causing you so much pain. If I wasn't already dead, it would kill me to know that you think of me in that way. When we described our relationship in our meadow as the lion falling in love with the lamb, I never expected you would seriously think of me as a masochistic creature. I know that at this point you must see me as that kind of animal, but I never meant to be. I know that you are tired of hearing me apologize, but I must say it once again Bella; I am sorry. I altered your life without your permission, I ruined whatever life I am living for the rest of eternity, and I have cause you eternal sadness. If I could change it all, I would, because whatever the rest of my eternity will be without you is not worth enduring, knowing what I have done. _

_I know that I have no right to ask, but I just ask this last thing of you; I will leave and promise that I will never enter your life, or anyone you love again if when you read this you keep your window closed, but if you wish to see me, even just one last time, give me a sign by opening your window._

_I will be awaiting your decision, and will abide by the choice you make, this I can promise you._

_-Edward_


	20. Chapter 20: The Window

**Thanks as always to Chellie09! **

**Chapter 20**

**The Window**

**BPOV**

_Bella,_

_After tonight, I would understand if you never wanted to see or hear from me again. I heard how you feel, and I truly am sorry for causing you so much pain. If I __weren't_ _already dead, it would kill me to know that you think of me in that way. When we described our relationship in our meadow as the lion falling in love with the lamb, I never expected you would seriously think of me as a masochistic creature. I know that at this point you must see me as that kind of animal, but I never meant to be. I know that you are tired of hearing me apologize, but I must say it once again __Bella: __I am sorry. I altered your life without your permission, I ruined whatever life I am living for the rest of eternity, and I have __caused_ _you eternal sadness. If I could change it all, I would, because whatever the rest of my eternity will be without you is not worth enduring, __to know __what I have done __to you__._

_I know that I have no right to ask, but I just ask this last thing of you; I will leave and promise that I will never enter your life, or anyone you love __again, __if when you read this you keep your window closed__. But __if you wish to see me, even just one last time, give me a sign by opening your window._

_I will be awaiting your decision, and will abide by the choice you __make; __this I can promise you._

_-Edward _

I looked at the letter and read it over again, with mixed emotions running through me. Part of me was happy that he seemed to finally understand how I was feeling, but another part of me realized that I still loved him. I still loved him, even after he left me and went on with his life in the way he did. I would always love him no matter what. This was the first time that I truly realized this.

I turned in my bed and faced my window. I bit my upper lip as I again read his letter. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed him, I truly did; I always had. I missed his crooked smile, I missed the way he would save me from my clumsy self, I missed his smell, his hair, and I missed the way he made me feel so special, though I am nothing more than an ordinary human girl. Even with all the anger inside me, whenever we were together since he arrived I still felt something. I fell back into my bed and closed my eyes as I held his letter against my chest remembering all of the good times we shared in the past. It wasn't too long until I realized that I had a few tears falling down my face. I quickly wiped them with the back of my hand and sat up as I kept his letter firmly in my grasp. I then stood up and made my way over to the window where I peered out. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was probably out there watching me at this moment. I placed my hand on the window and took in a deep breath to try to settle myself. I then bit my upper lip once again and walked away from the window.

**EPOV**

I could see her at the window. She was standing there with her hair falling around her face as she looked out, I assumed looking for me, but there was no way to know for sure. She looked like an angel.

"She's going to do it Edward," Alice said to me with a smile. "See, I told you."

"She hasn't done it yet Alice," I said frustrated. "I won't believe it until she does it. And even then there is no guarantee of what will happen."

I kept my eyes on Bella standing with her hand on the window and continued speaking to Alice, "I wouldn't blame her if she didn't, you know. I left her, I broke her, and I may never be able to put those pieces back together again."

"Whatever!" Alice said knowingly. "I _know_ this is going to happen, it's just a matter of time."

I would have rolled my eyes at my sister if it didn't take my focus off of Bella. Then, all of a sudden I saw her walk away, and my heart suddenly felt as cold and hard as it was.

"I guess that is the answer," I said as I closed my eyes and slammed my head back into the headrest, still being careful not to break it. "This is another one of those moments where I wish I could read her thoughts; understand exactly what she is thinking."

"Edward," Alice placed her hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened; I saw it all so clearly." She looked as clueless and upset as I felt.

I opened my eyes and looked at her saying, "I guess this is it. I have to go. I promised her, and I can't stay here." I turned the key in the ignition and returned my gaze up to the window with the hopes of seeing her, and like the angel she is, there she was.

"See," Alice said pointing to the window, "I told you."

I turned the car off and kept my eyes on the window, expecting to see her disappear again. Suddenly, I heard a lock unlock, and saw Bella push the window to her bedroom open, look around outside, and then walk back into her bedroom. I closed my eyes and I could smell her scent and as always, could pick her heartbeat out.

"Go," Alice said. "Be careful, and if you need anything I'll be right out here, alright?"

I nodded my head and then asked Alice, "What do I do?" I was very nervous and felt out of my comfort zone.

"Just go up there and do what seems right, just don't push her," she said. "Remember, she is emotional and has been through a lot." Alice then looked at me and made sure she had my attention before she continued, "She's a broken human Edward, only you can truly fix her."

I gave my sister a kiss on the cheek to thank her, made my way up the tree beside Bella's apartment building, and took a deep breath before I entered her window. I had to make sure I was in complete control because I had no idea what this visit would hold.

Before I entered, I saw her sitting there on her bed; her arms wrapped around her legs with her head on her knees. After entering her window, her head immediately popped up to greet me and I saw that her face was covered in blotches of red telling me that she had been crying. It killed me that I kept hurting her. I figured it was best to stay where I was so that I didn't intrude on her space, but the silence was deafening to me.

"Bella," I said quietly, "thank you."

She just nodded as she kept looking at me. At least this was progress, or at least seemed like it was progress. I raced to her nightstand to grab a tissue, which must have startled her because she jumped a bit when I unexpectedly handed her the tissue.

"I'm sorry," I said making distance between us again. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's alright," she said as she grabbed the tissue from my hand. "I guess it just caught me off guard." She inhaled a deep, ragged breath and wiped her eyes with the tissue.

I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do, but then suddenly she broke the silence.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for tonight." She sat there and shook her head.

"There is no reason for you to apologize, Bella," I said desperately wanting to comfort her with my touch, but knowing it wasn't time yet, "I deserve everything you said to me, and more."

"Edward," she said as she inhaled a deep breath, which helped to settle her heart rate down, "I don't know what to do here. What do I do? What do you do? What do we do?"

"I don't know either," I said honestly as I found my way to sit on the opposite end of her bed.

"What do you want?" she asked.

I looked at her in her deep brown eyes, "You, Isabella Marie Swan. It has always been you, and it will always be you, no matter what happens."

"And if I say no?" she asked.

"Then I will have no choice but to leave. I will do whatever you want me to do Bella," I told her. "If you command me to leave, I will. If you want me to stay, I am here."

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, banging it slightly against her headboard. I assumed she was thinking. It killed me at times that I couldn't read her mind.

"Edward," she said still sitting in that same position. "After tonight, after that letter, I realized something."

She then brought her head forward and opened her eyes looking directly at me, which made me nervous.

"I love you too," she said starting to cry again. "I have since that day we met back in Forks, and I always have." Her sobs were running freely now, and I couldn't control myself any longer. With my speed I made my way to her and enveloped her in my arms, gently forcing her head upon my shoulder. As we sat there, I couldn't help but rub my hands along her back and I closed my eyes as I took in her scent. She still used the strawberry shampoo I loved, and she still had that familiar scent of freesia and her blood was as heavenly as ever. This reminded me that I had to stay focused.

"Bella," I said as we sat there and I began rocking her, "I'm sorry I did this to you. I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I made my family part of it all, I'm sorry for hurting you. I love you. If given the opportunity, I want you forever; _you_ are my mate, the only one for me in this life...or whatever you want to call it."

After a few minutes of her sobbing, she raised her head and she looked exhausted. I reached to her nightstand to grab her ice water, and then realized this must have been why she left the window, to get a drink.

"I wasn't sure if you were going to open the window there for a minute," I said as she snuggled into me when she finished her drink. "I thought I had broken you beyond repair and lost you forever." I couldn't resist playing with her hair and continuing to take in her scent, I missed it so much.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to open it either," she said truthfully. "It's all so much Edward. My head is spinning with it all."

"I know," I said to try to comfort her as I rubbed my hand along her back, "and I understand." Then she yawned.

"Bella," I said, "you're exhausted. You need to sleep."

"I don't want to sleep," she said. "I'm afraid I'll wake up and this will all be a dream."

"What will?" I asked as I did my best to sneak her back to where she should be lying down on the bed.

"This," she said as she put her hand on his chest. "You being here, you loving me."

"I promise you," I said, "this isn't a dream. I'll be here when you wake up."

She finally realized that I had her back where she needed to be to sleep, and I pulled the covers over her and reached over to turn the light off. I then gave her a kiss on the forehead and stood up, making my way to the window.

"Where are you going?" she asked panicked. I could hear her heart accelerate.

"I'm leaving you to sleep," I said. "Alice is waiting downstairs."

"Please," she begged quietly as she sat up. "Please don't leave. I can't bear for you to leave me again."

I smiled. How could I deny my angel that request? I quickly let Alice know it was safe to leave and I would be staying here with Bella. When I returned to the bedroom, Bella had moved over in her bed, obviously leaving a space for me. I looked at her with a questioning look and she replied with, "Please?" I didn't think it was the best choice so soon, but there was no denying her. I found my way to the bed, placed covers between us to make sure she would be able to stay warm and before I knew it she was fast asleep. I had my Bella, my life, the one I knew was my forever in my arms and I felt as if I was in heaven. Though as my love slept, my mind was racing a mile a minute. I had to figure out what we were going to do. How we were going to work this out, and most of all; what about Samantha? And what about everything I heard about Jacob?

**BPOV**

When I woke up, I immediately rolled over and noticed the empty bed; I knew it had all been a dream. I immediately pulled the covers over my shoulders and curled up in a ball. I had no idea how I was going to be able to face him after I had such a vivid dream that he still loved me, and promised to stay with me. With a sigh, I rolled over to my nightstand and noticed a note there written in a beautiful script.

_Bella,_

_I know that I promised you last night that I would be here when you woke up, but Samantha woke up early and called me. She asked me to come over early, so I had to go change at the hotel and come back with Alice. I hope you don't hate me, but I figured that we still __needed_ _to play along until we __figured_ _out what we are going to do. I will see you when you come out to join us. I love you, I always have, and I always will._

_Edward_

I read the note again to make sure that I comprehended what was written. I realized that what I remembered must not have been a dream, it must have really happened. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. But then it hit me, I would have to break Sam's heart in order to make myself happy. I wasn't looking forward to that; we would have to figure out the best thing to do.

After quickly pulling on some sweats and a t-shirt, I opened my door and walked out to see everyone.

"Good morning!" Sam said with a smile, handing me a cup of coffee and some Tylenol.

"Thanks," I said with a smile as I took the pills with my coffee.

"Izzy," Edward said with a smile and nod as he played with his cup of coffee, "how are you feeling this morning?"

"Alright," I said with a smile as I pulled my hair back, securing it with an elastic band. "It was rough there for a bit last night, but I'm feeling much better this morning."

"I'm glad to hear that!" Alice chimed in with a huge smile on her face as she pretended to sip from her coffee.

"Izzy," Sam said, "we're running out of time, and I really want to do something fun today."

"You name it," I said. I looked out the window and it looked like it was going to be an overcast day. I looked over at Alice and she smiled with a nod, confirming my belief that it would be all right to do just about anything today.

"Good!" she said. "How about we go over to the park for a bit? It's a beautiful day and it would be relaxing. We could take a hike and even have a picnic by the pond!"

"Fine with me," I said. Edward and Alice both agreed.

"I just wish Jake would have been here," Sam said. "I miss him. I wish he could have come down to visit."

I looked over at Edward and he was visibly stiff, as was Alice. Edward's jaw was clenched and his hands were made into fists.

"He's busy Sam," I said, trying to calm them both down for whatever reason they were upset. "He wanted to come, but he said to make sure I said hi from him!"

"Alright," she said as she shrugged her shoulders, "as long as he thought of me!" She was chuckling as she walked off to the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly as Edward and Alice seemed to loosen up, just a bit.

"Nothing," Edward said with his jaw still clenched with his eyes focused on me.

"We should get ready to go to the park, Edward." Alice said, trying to settle him down from whatever is wrong.

I tried to shrug it off, but it worried me. I had no idea why Edward would be so upset over mentioning Jacob; he had only met him a few times back in Forks.

Edward finally seemed relaxed, though I could tell that he and Alice were having one of their silent conversations.

"Let's get a lunch packed," Sam said, coming back from the bathroom. "And then we can get outta here and enjoy the beautiful day!"

Sam and I grabbed things from the fridge to make a lunch for us to take to the park. I couldn't help but notice as we were working, how Alice and Edward were chatting quietly, though if I knew them as well as I thought I did, I know their conversation was mostly unheard.

"That's about it!" Sam said as she grabbed a few more bottled waters and put them in the basket. "Are you two ready to go?"

"Sure!" Alice said. "Should we take two separate cars or all go in one?"

"I think two separate would be best," I suggested, "just in case one of use has to leave earli

er for some reason?"

"Sounds like a plan!" Alice said. Once downstairs, Sam decided she wanted to ride with me, and let Edward and Alice follow us. Little did she know that Edward knew exactly where we were going, because we had already been there.

Once we were there, we both parked and met at the park entrance. We left the basket of food in the car and decided we would come back for it when we were hungry.

"So where to?" I asked. Sam picked her favorite trail and we headed up the path. She grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him through the path, though you could tell he was a little uneasy. He kept looking back at me, and I think Alice stayed back to make sure that I was safe from myself. We all chatted about school, my work and families while we walked. I was happy to hear that all of the Cullens were doing well, and Sam was having such a great senior year.

About ¾ of the way up the trail, Alice pushed me down.

"Ouch!" I yelled as I fell to the ground. I looked up at her wondering what the hell she was doing.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"No," I said gasping, "I think I twisted my ankle."

"Izzy!" Sam said. "How are we going to get you back down? And I thought we could make it to the top of the trail and back without you getting hurt for once!" She was now chuckling as she helped me up. "I really wanted these two to see it. I know Alice especially would enjoy the view with her artistic eye."

"Why don't I continue up with you?" Alice told her. "And I'm sure Eddie wouldn't mind helping Bella back down. The artistic eye isn't really his thing anyway."

Sam looked disappointed, but I now knew what Alice had up her sleeve. Sam looked at Edward with a questioning look.

"That's fine," he said as he shrugged his shoulders and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm kinda tired anyway. I wouldn't mind helping her down."

"You're sure?" she asked him. He nodded and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Are you alright with it Izzy?" she asked.

"It's fine," I said as he wrapped his arm around my waist to help me down the trail.

"Take care of her, and we shouldn't be too horribly long," Sam said to Edward as she and Alice made their way up the rest of the path.

**EPOV**

I finally had my arm wrapped around Bella to help her down the path, where it belonged.

"Alice didn't have to do that," she said. "I don't need help injuring myself."

"I'm sorry for Alice," I said as I found a fallen log on the side of the path and sat her down to inspect her injuries. She winced as my hands felt her ankle. I didn't feel a break, so it must just be a sprain.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you," I said when I noticed her reaction. "I just wanted to make sure it wasn't broken."

"No," she said. "Your hand, the cold… it felt good on my ankle."

I couldn't help but smile. Finally, I did something that was helpful and wasn't hurting her. "What do you say we get out of here?"

"Sounds good," she said. With that, I quickly placed her on my back and we were on our way down the path.

"I guess you can't go as quickly as before," she laughed. "But that's fine with me. We don't need to add nausea to the list for the day."

I couldn't help but chuckle, remembering what happened when I carried her to my meadow, _our_ meadow. It felt good to have her body pressed up against me, her arms wrapped around me, and her warm breath on my neck.

Once we got to the bottom of the path, I found a bench to sit her down and we could enjoy the wonderful, mild day.

"So," she said as she started to blush.

"So," I said smiling as I enjoyed the blood rushing to her cheeks.

"You're going to be leaving with Sam tomorrow, huh?" she asked me as she nervously bit her lower lip.

"I imagine," I said, "to keep the cover of course. I'll come and visit every night, as long as you want me to."

She didn't say anything for a moment which scared me a bit. Then she inhaled a breath and smiled, "Of course I do."

I quickly pulled her foot out of her shoe, and wrapped my hand around her ankle to help cool it off. I knew that Alice and Samantha would be awhile, and Alice would let me know when they were close.

"So," she said, "what are you doing for Christmas?"

"Samantha's father is having me over. I guess Alice too," I said.

"Do you think," she said with a pause, "do you think Alice could stay with me?"

I was a bit confused, and wondered why she would ask.

"I suppose," I said, she must have been able to see the confused look on my face.

"It's just," she started to say, "I missed you all so much. I missed you more than words could describe, and I missed Alice desperately. She was my best friend."

I could tell she looked a bit worried that she would hurt my feelings. I knew how close she and my sister were, and I know how much Alice missed her, I could only imagine how much she missed Alice.

"Of course," I said with a smile, knowing that this would please her.

The smile on her face, along with the look of relief was a sight to see. I was happy that I was again able to bring some sort of joy to her.

"I love you so much," she said as her eyes stared straight into mine.

I stared straight into her eyes and confirmed to her, "Nobody could possibly love anyone more than I love you, Isabella."

Again, the blood rushed to her cheeks which I loved so much, and I couldn't help but smile. I loved that I could do that to her.

"So what about this Jake guy?" I asked wiggling my eyebrows.

"What about him?" she asked.

"What happened between the two of you?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said as her face began to look sad. "After you left he was my rock. He became my best friend, the only person I could count on. He helped me...." She stopped suddenly and looked down.

"He helped you what?" I asked.

She didn't answer for a minute and then looked up at me with very sad eyes, "He helped me to forget about you, or at least take my mind off of you."

"He helped you forget about me?" I asked cautiously. I knew about Jacob's family heritage, but wanted to know how much she knew.

"Well," she said as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear, "I could _never_ forget about you, but he helped by giving me some time to take my mind off of it, and eventually not think about you every minute of every day."

My mind began to race about how he gave her time to take her mind off of me, and I must have let a small growl escape. If he laid one paw on her in the wrong way I would rip him to shreds, treaty or no treaty.

"What?" she asked.

I just stared at her with a questioning look on my face, "What did you two do?"

She must have realized what was running through my head and started shaking hers back and forth, "Oh no, nothing like that. Jake and I are just friends. That's it!"

"So what did you two do?" I asked again.

"Ummmm…" she stammered, "he helped me fix up some motorcycles and we rode those, and did other stuff like that." She looked up at me with questioning eyes to see how I would react.

"Bella," I said, "you promised me you would be safe."

"I couldn't help it," she said in a clipped tone. "Being reckless made me hear you. I know it sounds crazy, but whenever I did something stupid like that, I felt as if you were there with me. I could actually hear your voice." She looked down at her hands and started fiddling with the hem of her coat and continued, "When I heard you, when I heard your voice it was as if you were still here." She then popped her head up to look at me, "Before you left you promised me it would be as if you never existed. That was too hard, I needed for you to exist, however I could make it happen."

I didn't understand, but I didn't want to make her angry, so I stopped. I didn't understand how she could hear my voice being so reckless. Did my leaving make her do something so stupid she would have died? It was shortly after that when I heard Alice giving me a warning that they were on their way back.

"They're coming," I told her. I helped slip her shoe back on and she kept her foot propped up on my leg.

"There you two are!" Samantha said, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I don't know about you two, but I think I'm ready to eat."

"Sounds good to me," Bella said as she pulled her foot off my leg and stood up. I stood up beside her and put my arm around her waist to help her out to the car.

"Why don't you two head down to the pond," Alice said, "and we'll meet you there?"

"Sounds like a plan," I said as I helped Bella turn the opposite way.

"How are we going to do this?" she asked bluntly as we made our way down to the pond.

"I'm going to continue walking with my arm around you so your ankle can heal," I said.

"No," she said, "not that. You… me… Sam?"

"I was thinking about it last night," I said plainly. "The way I see it, we have a few choices. But we need to sit down and discuss it all. I think it would be helpful to have Alice involved also."

"Fine," she said quietly. It was shortly after that when I heard the two girls coming from the car with the food. We found a nice place to sit where Bella and Samantha ate the sandwiches they made, and Alice and I picked at some of the fruit they packed. There was going to be a lot going on the next couple of days, and some hard decisions to make which would affect more than just the four of us sitting here now.

_**Let me know what you think! Thanks : )**_


	21. Chapter 21: Surprises

**Thanks as always to Chellie09! **

**Chapter 21**

**Surprises**

**BPOV**

Edward and Alice were sitting quietly, and I knew they were having one of their silent conversations and I was sure I knew what it was about.

"So Sam!" I said looking over at her as we ate our lunch. "You guys are leaving tomorrow to go down to your dad's?"

"Yeah," she said as she took a sip from her water bottle. "I figured with as much fun as it is at Dad's, we'll stay here most of the day and then head down there tomorrow evening." We both laughed and then she paused in thought for a moment and then looked over at Alice, "Are you planning on coming with us, Alice?"

Alice glanced at Edward for a moment and then looked at Sam, "No," she said. "Mom and Dad have some friends that invited me up for Christmas. Mom and Dad got a great last minute deal on a holiday trip for just the two of them online, so I'm going to just stay with their friends."

"Oh," Sam said with a small smile, "alright then. That sounds like fun."

"I'm sure it will be," Alice said with a smile as she looked over at me.

"So _Eddie,_" Alice said with a bit of a smile, "did you finish all of your Christmas shopping?"

Edward seemed to frown a bit. "No," he said, and then he looked over at me. "_Izzy,_ I didn't notice a Christmas tree up in your apartment. Don't you celebrate the holiday? Don't you go home to be with your family for Christmas, or home with Samantha?"

I took a sip from my water bottle; all eyes seemed to be on me. "I do celebrate it, to a degree," I paused to take a bite from my sandwich but Sam felt the need to elaborate.

"When Izzy was still in high school, she fell in love with some guy. I don't remember his name and I never met him, but he broke her heart and nearly killed her by just up and leaving," Sam said. "What an ass. I don't remember much, but I do remember going up to Forks that Christmas to celebrate with her and Uncle Charlie but all she did was live in her pajamas and stay in her room that year. She didn't eat, didn't want to open presents, she did nothing!"

I knew Edward was now staring at me and I couldn't take the chance of looking at him because I know what his face would look like, but it was all true.

"So she said from that moment on she didn't have anything to celebrate," Sam continued. "She never liked birthdays, and Christmas is now the same." She grabbed her sandwich and took a bite as I looked over at Edward and Alice. They were both staring at me with looks of guilt and hurt all over their faces, Edward looked physically pained just as I had expected. I gave them both an apologetic smile and then grabbed a chip from the bag in front of me.

"Are you sure you don't want to come down with us Izzy?" Sam asked me, "You know dad wouldn't care."

"I'm fine Sam," I said. "I'm actually feeling a lot better this Christmas and I have some plans anyway." I let my eyes glance over at Edward who still looked pained, but not quite as much. I smiled and blushed as I pushed some hair behind my ear hoping he would see the smile on my face, and how happy I really was now.

We finished up the lunch and Sam helped me stand up.

"See," I said, walking around with a bit of a limp from my ankle and a triumphant smile. "I'm fine."

"Sam," Edward said, "can I speak to you for a moment?"

Sam smiled and made her way over to Edward as Alice helped me pick up the last bit of the lunch. I wish I could hear what they were talking about, but Sam seemed very excited.

"Hey, you two!" Sam practically yelled as she bounced over to us. It looked as if she had been spending too much time with Alice! "Eddie and I have to go run a few errands, but we'll meet you back at the apartment in a bit, alright?"

"Sounds good!" Alice said, looking straight at Edward. I was sensing another one of their conversations as they both smiled.

"Alright," I said. "Drive safe!"

"I always do," Edward said with that beautiful crooked smile from behind Sam. I couldn't help but smile myself.

He grabbed the basket from Alice.

"I think we're going to stay here for a little bit," she said to him.

"Fine, I'll just stick it in my car and we'll bring it back when we're done," he said as they headed off.

Now that it was just Alice and I we sat back down on a bench overlooking the beautiful grassy area of the park we had just been eating in. I couldn't help myself anymore, so I reached over and gave Alice a hug.

"What's that for?" she asked as she embraced me back.

"I've missed you so much," I said as a few tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I just couldn't resist."

"Everything's going to be fine Bella," she said as I pulled away. "From what I see, everyone will end up happy and get what they want."

"What does that mean though, Alice?" I asked.

She just looked over at me and then smiled.

**EPOV**

"Do you have any idea where to go?" I asked Samantha.

"For Christmas presents? It depends what you're looking for," she said.

What was I looking for? I had no idea. We found a mall, if you can call it that, and settled on stopping there.

Once inside I turned to Samantha, "How about we meet back here in an hour?"

"Sounds good," she said.

"I have my cell if you need anything," I told her. "And be careful."

"I will," she said with a smile and then laughed. "I'm not Izzy."

"_No you're not,"_ I thought to myself.

She leaned over, gave me an unexpected kiss, and then was off. I had an hour to figure out my Christmas shopping.

I knew that Samantha would be easy, but Bella would be harder. I found my way to a jewelry store and found a locket for Samantha. In it, I had already determined I would put a picture of her on one side, and Bella on the other. I figured that there was no way the two of them would survive what was to come without Samantha being hurt, and I had hoped that when she would look at the locket she would remember how much her cousin does love her.

Once I had the locket in a bag in my hand, I was off to walk the mall to find something for Alice, Samantha's father and of course Bella.

I remember Samantha talking about how much her father loved the LA sports teams, so I picked him up some merchandise from a sports store, and then found another jewelry store where I found a bracelet I thought Alice would like. I looked through this store but just didn't see anything that screamed Bella to me. As I was leaving the store, my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was Alice.

"Is everything alright?" I asked.

"Yes silly!" she said.

I breathed a sigh of relief; I don't know why I was worried when Bella was with Alice though.

"First," she said, "I love the bracelet and thank you! Second, good thinking with the locket and sports stuff. Third, don't worry about it."

"Don't worry?" I asked. "I've been gone for so long, almost killed the girl that I love and am destined to be with, returned to break her even more and I shouldn't worry about getting her a little Christmas gift?" I was thoroughly confused.

"I brought something from home," she said. "Don't worry, you'll agree that it's perfect, I just know it!"

"Fine," I said looking at my watch. "It's almost time to meet Samantha anyway. We have one more stop to make and then we'll be back."

"And your idea is perfect Edward," Alice said. "She's going to love it, no matter what she says otherwise."

"I hope so," I said before hanging up the phone and sticking it in my pocket, I was off to go meet up with Samantha to get a surprise for Bella.

**BPOV**

After talking for a while with Alice at the park, we decided to head back to my place and I had to take a human moment and go to the bathroom. When I walked out, I saw her close her phone and stick it in her purse.

"So!" she said. "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, what are we doing?"

"I don't know," I said. "The usual I guess."

"It's Christmas Bella!" she whined. "We have to celebrate Christmas."

"No we don't," I stated. "I haven't in years and I don't have to."

"Bella!" she whined again. "It's the holiday that we all look forward to each year. It's Edward's favorite holiday, or it was when he lived his life before all of this."

"Really?" I asked as I settled down in the sofa. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah," Alice said, sitting on the sofa. "We always have so much fun now as a family decorating the tree, and of course the presents."

"Ugh," I whined to myself.

"You know how Edward loves to give presents," she said nudging me.

"Presents are just another reason I don't celebrate Christmas, Alice." I looked over at her and continued, "I'm sorry. I never know what to get anybody and on a teaching salary it obviously wouldn't be much anyway."

"You'll change your mind," she said with a wink. Shortly after that there was a knock on the door. I walked over to answer it, and there was a huge tree in front of my face.

"What the...?" I started to say before I heard Sam yell.

"Surprise!" she said. "Isn't it beautiful?"

I must have had a look of shock on my face because she made her way into the door and wrapped her arm around me saying, "It's a Christmas tree. I'm sure you'll remember what they look like once it's all decorated." She loved being sarcastic.

"But why?" is all I could ask as the tree made its way in the apartment with Edward holding onto the trunk.

"Eddie here insisted," she said. "He said that my cousin wasn't going to not celebrate Christmas anymore because of some stupid guy so he insisted in going to get you a tree."

"But I don't have any decorations," I said still in shock.

"Covered!" Alice yelled with a smile. "Since I have a feeling you would be such a party-pooper _Izzy, _why don't Sam and I go get some decorations?"

"No, no, no," I said. "I'm not going to ask you to do that. This is all so unnecessary!"

"You're not asking and yes it is necessary," Alice said. "Plus if my brother was kind enough to get you a tree, then my Christmas present to you can be some decorations for it."

I gave her a look and she just smiled, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. I always hated it when they ganged up on me. At least Jasper wasn't here to control my emotions.

"Will you two be alright here?" Sam asked extremely excited. Christmas was her favorite holiday too, and this was all getting to be too exciting for her.

"I guess so," I said, placing one hand on my hip and the other on my head to scratch it. I had no idea what I was going to do with such a huge tree in my apartment.

"Fine then," Alice said. "It's settled. Sam, let's go."

With that the two of them were on their way out the door and I just looked at Edward who had a huge smile on his face.

**EPOV**

"What?" I asked her, knowing exactly what her problem was. I know that this simple gesture wouldn't touch the entire existence of guilt I was going to feel for doing what I did. But it was knowing that she didn't celebrate Christmas anymore because of me that crushed me.

"I said I don't celebrate Christmas anymore," Bella said. "So what is this?"

"You don't celebrate Christmas because of me," I stated as I propped the tree up in a corner and moved over to her. "So I'm going to make sure you start celebrating it again, start _living _again."

As I looked over at Bella she closed her eyes and leaned her head back. When she brought her face back down she had a few tears running down her face.

"Bella," I said as I made my way over to her, still trying to be careful of our situation. "What's wrong?"

"It's too much," she said quietly. "This is all just too much. I still feel like I'm dreaming or in some parallel universe."

"You're not dreaming and we are still in the same universe," I said. "I promise."

Her eyes were red and glassy as she looked at me. She made her way over to me and wrapped her arms around me. The warmth felt so good and the smell was almost too much for me, but she needed me and I was going to be here for her.

"What are we going to do?" she asked, placing her head on my shoulder. "What are we going to do?"

"We'll figure it out," I said as I rubbed my hand up and down her back. "We'll figure it out." She continued to settle down and I told her, "And the first step to figuring this out is setting up this tree."

She pulled back from me which I hated, but she wiped her eyes with her hands and stepped back as she looked around the apartment.

"I guess over there is the best bet," she said pointing to a corner. I grabbed the tree and quickly placed it in the stand I purchased and put the tree in the corner she requested. Of course I quickly trimmed the tree up a bit to make it look a bit better and stepped back to make sure it looked perfect then I looked over at her, she was still staring at the tree.

"What do you think now?" I asked hoping that she liked it. "If you still don't want it I'll call Alice and I'll find someone to give it to. I just want to make you happy Bella." The images of her behavior the Christmas after I left will be engrained in my memory for eternity. I can't help but frown as I think of them.

"No," she said quietly. "I think it will be alright. I think it's going to be a season for new beginnings."

I couldn't help but smile as I made my way to her. I wrapped my arms around her and selfishly took in her scent as I said, "I plan on it."

"Edward?" she said quietly.

"Yes," I answered her.

"Nothing," she said again quietly.

"What?" I asked as I pulled her a bit from me to look at her, concerned now by the acceleration of her heart.

"I was just thinking," she said quietly, looking up at me as if she was afraid. "If you hadn't met Sam, then do you think we would have ever crossed paths again?"

I honestly didn't know, but I doubt that I would have had the strength to keep away for much longer.

"I don't know," I said as I looked into her eyes. "I think that I would have come back to check on you, and if you were happy I like to think that I would have left you alone. But I knew if I found you..." I wanted to say _like this_ but instead I said, "I wouldn't be able to stay away unless you wanted me to leave."

"You're going to come up and visit me every night, right?" she asked as if she was afraid of this answer too.

"I will," I said. "I'll leave Sam with her father early and come up. Alice will stay with you the rest of the day. I promise."

"If you don't," she said as tears started to fill her eyes again. "If you don't, I won't make it, Edward." She paused before telling me, "I can't go through that again. I can't survive that again."

"Shhhhhhhh," I said softly as I pulled her close to me again and kissed the top of her head. "I promise. I will never hurt you like that again."

She began to pull herself together again when I heard Alice warn me they were close so Bella could clean herself up before Sam sees her.

"They're just about here," I said quietly. She looked up and pulled away a bit as she fanned her eyes to try to get rid of the tears.

"I'm just going to go in there," she said pointing to the bathroom. "Just give me a bit of time; I don't want them to see me like this."

I nodded in agreement and watched her as she walked into the bathroom, and Samantha and Alice walked through the front door with bags full of decorations.

_**Let me know what you think! Thanks : )**_

_**I also started another story if you're interested **_.net/s/6073893/1/


	22. Chapter 22: Memories

Thanks as always to Chellie09!

**Chapter 22**

**Memories**

**BPOV**

After I closed the door to the bathroom I heard Alice and Sam come through the front door. I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself, seriously looked at myself which I hadn't done in years. I closed my eyes then inhaled and then exhaled... inhaled and exhaled hoping it would help me calm down. When I opened my eyes I looked closer at myself. Through the redness around my tired eyes I could notice that there were a few fine lines forming that I hadn't seen before. My hair was the same length it has been since I was a teenager and I thought I spotted my first gray hair, but it was just the way the light was bouncing off of a single strand, I was relieved. In an effort to make myself look a bit more presentable I turned on the cool water and splashed some on my face and it felt wonderful. After a few moments of that I heard a knock on the door.

"_Izzy_!" Alice said. "Are you alright in there?"

I couldn't help but smile, I missed Alice so much, "Yeah. I'll be out in a minute."

"Alright," she said. "We're waiting, and trying to do so patiently!"

My gaze returned to the mirror again. I looked older than Edward did; not just the petty year I was older than he was when he left, and I could see it now. I ran my fingers through my hair, patted my face dry with a towel and inhaled another deep breath, exhaled and opened the door.

"OhMyGod Izzy!" Sam screamed. "Alice has such good taste, you won't believe it! And on top of that, she is a shopping machine!"

I looked around my living room and it was covered in shopping bags.

"Alice," I said. "What did you do?"

"Christmas is my favorite holiday," she stated simply. "And Sam's too, so we probably went a little overboard."

"A little?" I said putting my hand on my forehead out of frustration. "I can't accept all this. You'll have to take some back or let me make...payments?"

"No can do," Alice said shaking her head as she and Sam started opening bags and boxes. "Sorry! It's my gift to you!"

I closed my eyes and sighed, then opened them up to see Sam extremely excited and Edward with a worried look on his face.

"Fine," I said. "It can all stay."

Sam was thrilled, Alice smiled and Edward now looked relieved gave me a crooked smile. Of course with that I couldn't help but smile a bit myself.

"So!" Alice said. "Since Izzy apparently hasn't decorated a tree in years, and this is her apartment and Christmas present, pick an ornament to be first on the tree so we can help you trim it!"

"Wow," I said, a bit shocked. I was feeling very overwhelmed with everything and then Sam dug in a bag and bounced over to me, "Here Izzy, how about this one?"

I looked at the ornament she gave me and I couldn't help but smile at the beautiful little snow globe ornament. It reminded me of the first day I saw Edward, snowing as he walked into the Forks High cafeteria.

Sam laughed and said, "It looks just like Forks doesn't it?"

I chuckled a bit and agreed. Before long Edward had the lights on the tree and I hung that first ornament on the tree.

"Now that wasn't so hard was it?" Edward asked.

I wrapped my arms around myself and shook my head no. He again looked at me concerned as if I was going to burst into tears or totally lose it as Sam and Alice were busy taking ornaments out of boxes. I nodded with a small smile on my face, grabbed an ornament and handed it to him as I nodded towards the tree, then grabbed one for myself. We continued the rest of the evening decorating the tree and apartment with all of the stuff Alice had bought at the store. We talked about our favorite Christmas memories, strangest and best presents and favorite traditions.

Sam said that her favorite Christmas memory was when she was surprised by Santa at her house as a kid and said she would never forget it even though she knew now he wasn't real. Her strangest gift was when her dad got her a collector's spoon from his trip to Graceland, her best present was an expensive cell phone her mom gave her and her favorite tradition was singing Christmas carols around the tree.

Alice told us that her favorite Christmas memory was her first Christmas day with Jasper. She said that the strangest gift she ever got was a sweater from Edward and her best present was a ring that Jasper gave her. Her favorite tradition was decorating the family tree each year. I knew all of these memories were vampire ones which kind of saddened me. I wondered what her childhood holidays might have been like.

When it was my turn I confessed that my favorite memory was when my mom and I spent Christmas at the beach in California. I know it sounds odd, but that was typical Renee. The strangest Christmas gift was an odd jewelry box Charlie sent me one year that played some strange song in it. The best present I got was tickets to see my favorite band when I lived in Phoenix and my favorite tradition was waking up and checking out the stockings first thing in the morning to see what Santa left me.

Edward looked as if he was still thinking when I was finished. As we all sat around the living room he started to tell us about his favorite Christmas memory being when his dad would take him to pick out the family tree in the woods. From the way his face looked, I was pretty sure it was a memory from when he was alive as a young boy. The strangest gift he was given was a pack of pencils, which if it was from when he was younger wouldn't have really been strange at the time. His favorite present was a quilt his mother made him as a child and his favorite tradition was being with his family for the holiday. When he said that, he looked briefly at me and then looked away as if he was a bit shy. I knew from years back that his human memories were hard to remember, but I was happy that they were coming back to him.

Then I couldn't help myself and yawned.

"I guess that's our cue to leave," Alice said as she stood up.

"You don't have to go," I said yawning again. "This was so..." I paused, "This was so great. Thank you so much." I made my way over to Alice, gave her a huge hug, and then found my way to Edward to do the same. "Thank you so much for all of this, but you really didn't have to."

"Yes we did," Alice said.

"And now it looks like Christmas here Izzy!" Sam said all excited.

"Yes it does. A well deserved celebration of a holiday," Edward said as he grabbed his coat and Alice's and walked towards the door. "We'll see you tomorrow."

Sam walked over and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek as I gave Alice another hug as she whispered, "He'll meet you in your room."

When I looked over at Edward he quickly winked at me.

"See you tomorrow!" Sam said as they made their way down the hall and we locked the door behind them.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Sam asked as she came over and wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"It is," I said.

"Now do you feel like celebrating Christmas this year?" she asked.

I couldn't help but smile a bit, "I think I do."

We got ready for bed and I helped her set up the sheets on the sofa. When she was ready I gave her a hug, double checked the lock on the door and found my way to my room. Upon opening the door I saw Edward sitting in a chair over by the window.

"Hi," he said standing up with a smile.

"Hi," I said with a yawn.

"Bella," he said as he made his way over to my bed, "you need to sleep."

"I know," I said with another yawn as I found my way to the bed, sheets already pulled down.

"Then I'll just leave you," he said motioning to the window.

"No," I gasped and he looked directly at me.

"Just for the night, so you can get some rest," he said. "I'll be back. I promised."

"No," I said calmer this time. "Stay with me? Please? I promise I'll go to sleep."

He looked at me doubtfully.

"Unless you have things to do and you don't want to stay with me as I sleep," I said feeling a little hurt. "Then I'd understand."

"I'll stay with you until I know you're sound asleep," he said making his way back over to me. He pulled the sheets over me, turned the light off and then found his way next to me in the bed. "Then I'll go hunt quickly with Alice, then I'll come straight back."

I nodded and then turned to my side. Edward spooned me with his arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his chest. Before I knew it, he was humming my lullaby and I felt as if I was in heaven and drifted off to sleep.

**EPOV**

I figured Alice would see that I was staying with Bella for a bit and then would meet up with her to hunt. Bella asked me to stay and of course I couldn't refuse her. Once she was safely asleep I slipped out from around her and found my way back to the hotel to get Alice. We found a spot in the woods, drained a few deer and buried them, then found the way back to the hotel.

"I have to get back," I told Alice. "I promised her I'd be back as soon as we hunted."

"Be careful Edward," she said.

"Why? Do you see something?" I asked.

"No," she said shaking her head. "And that's the problem."

I had no idea what that meant, but Alice would be with her when I wasn't so I knew she would be safe.

"Go," she said. "She's waiting for you."

I nodded and was off to Bella's. When I arrived in her apartment window, as Alice said she was waiting for me.

"You were to be sleeping," I said as I made my way to her bed. "Bella, you're exhausted. You need to sleep."

"I have to go shopping," she said as she stared up at the ceiling.

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Excuse me?"

"I have to go shopping," she said again, then she turned to face me. "If I'm celebrating Christmas then I have to go shopping, for presents."

"For who?" I asked. "If you're concerned about Alice and I, you accepting me back as you have is more than I could ever ask for from anybody, ever. Plus, you made it quite clear you can't afford it and I won't have you spending your money..."

"I just want to," she said pulling the covers over her as she turned to face me. "Do you think Alice would take me shopping tomorrow?"

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Are you asking if Alice Cullen will take you shopping? Are you still asleep?"

"I know," she said as she settled her head on my chest. "Stupid question."

"Now sleep," I told her as I kissed her on top of her head and wrapped my arms around her. "You're really going to need your strength for tomorrow."

**BPOV**

When I woke up in the morning I was alone. I looked around, saw the light streaming through the window, and noticed the clock said 9:00. I yawned, stretched and groggily made my way out of bed and into the bathroom. When I exited the bathroom I heard giggles so I looked over into the living room and saw Sam, Alice and Edward sitting there staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You must have been tired!" Sam said coming over to give me a hug. "I don't think I've ever seen you sleep so late!" Then she leaned in and laughed as she whispered, "Go do something with your hair, it looks like a haystack!"

I ran my hands through my hair as I looked over at Alice and Edward who were both smiling at me. I could feel myself blushing. I excused myself and changed into a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt before returning out.

"Coffee?" Sam asked and of course I nodded and she had a cup ready for me. I sat down on the sofa next to Alice as Sam sat on the arm of the chair Edward was sitting on.

"So." I said before I took a sip from my coffee, "What time are you guys going to head out today?"

"I think we figured around noon was best," Edward said. "Then we should miss traffic and if you had anything last minute you had to do you would have the rest of the day."

I looked over at Alice and she winked, of course Edward was holding back a smile and Sam looked a bit sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked Sam.

She started to tear up a bit, "I'm just so happy," she said. "You seem to be so much better Izzy. The tree... the decorations... the smiles."

"Oh Sam," I said walking over to her and giving her a hug. "I am happy, thank you. But you don't have to cry."

"I know," she said. "I just wish I could stay here. I really don't want to go to Dad's, and I want to celebrate with you. Are you sure you won't come home with me? I miss you so much out East!"

"I've missed you too," I confessed as I gave her a hug and started to tear up myself.

"Okay," Sam said as she pulled herself away and wiped at her eyes. "Since we don't have much time left before we leave, I have a Christmas present for you." I glanced over at Edward and Alice who were just watching us.

"You didn't have to do that Sam," I said.

"You're my favorite cousin Izzy; of course I was going to get you a Christmas present!"

Before I knew it, she ran over from under the tree, pulled out the single gift under it, and handed it to me. I blushed and opened it. Inside the box was one of my favorite scents of lotion and spray, strawberries and champagne.

"Thank you Sam, you know it's my favorite!" I said giving her a hug.

"It's not much, but I figured you would like it," she said shrugging.

"Believe it or not," I said making my way to the closet, "I have something for you too."

The excitement in Sam's face and body language couldn't be mistaken when I handed her the small box.

"It's not much, but Merry Christmas!" I said.

She ripped her way through the paper, opened the box, and looked at me. When she saw the dream catcher her eyes got huge.

"Wow, it's beautiful!" she said holding it up to look at it.

"Yeah, I figured you would like it," I said. "Jake got me one when I turned 18, and I asked him to bring one down from the reservation the last time he came. I thought you would like it."

"I do!" she said with a shriek as she gave me another hug. Then she ran over to Edward hanging the dream catcher in the air to show him asking, "Isn't it beautiful?"

She may have missed it, but I saw a definite look between Edward and Alice, they were discussing something for sure.

"It is," he said plainly.

"Well it's Christmas Eve and we should probably get everything packed up and in the car," Edward announced. "I'm sure your father is looking forward to seeing you."

With that, I helped Sam get her stuff packed up. We gave each other a few more hugs and found our way outside to their rental car.

"Thanks for everything _Izzy,_" Edward said with a smile. "It was a pleasure spending time with you."

"It was my pleasure, _Eddie_," I said.

"And thank you _Izzy_!" Alice shrieked as she hugged me. "_Eddie_ and Sam are going to drop me off at the hotel to grab my car, and then I'll be on my way from there. I had a great time and it was _really_ great to see you."

"No problem," I said plainly. "The pleasure was all mine."

Sam came over and gave me one more hug while we both cried before climbing in the front seat, followed by Alice climbing in the back seat and Edward giving me an apologetic glance before climbing in the driver's seat. I could see Sam reach across the car to be comforted by Edward, and I was happy he was there for her. I knew all too well what it was like to not have anybody to comfort you. I wiped my eyes and watched as they pulled out of the parking lot. I knew Alice would be back as soon as she could, so I went upstairs to shower and get ready for shopping. I don't know what I was thinking last night when I came up with the idea.

After I was dressed from my shower I heard a knock at the door. When I opened it up I saw Alice standing there and she said, "I saw you needed some human time, perfect timing huh?"

I couldn't help but laugh as I enveloped her in a hug as she came into my apartment.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said wiping my eyes. "It's just been a few emotional days."

"I understand," she said comforting me and then chuckled. "But I hear you're ready to go shopping, and you asked for me? I feel so honored Bella!"

"Oh Lord," I said. "I did, but I know I'm going to regret this."

Alice just laughed, "Let's go have some fun!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

I convinced Alice to let me drive and she sat in the passenger's seat as we headed towards the mall.

"So how are you doing Bella," she asked. "Really?"

I was silent for a moment before answering, "I'm doing alright."

"Really?" she asked, skeptical. "Because Edward and I are both a little worried about you."

I pulled into a parking spot at the end of the lot, turned the ignition off and looked over at Alice before asking, "Why?"

"Why what?" she replied.

I moved my glance away from her, "Why did you push him into another human relationship?" I asked plainly. "He left because he wanted to give me the chance to live a full human life."

"Oh Bella," Alice said as she brought her hand to my shoulder. "You should have seen him. No, I take that back. I didn't even want to see him like that; I would never want to put you through that."

I looked back over at Alice and tried to keep the tears away but I could feel them starting.

"But you always said you loved me like a sister, we were best friends," I said gulping the majority of the tears away. "If you loved me like that then why would you not try to find a way to force us back together instead of ruining another human's life?"

"Bella," Alice said giving me an awkward hug from her seat. "Honey, believe it or not, I did it for you."

"What?" I asked.

"Can you keep a secret?" she asked.

I nodded and wiped tears away wondering why I would have to keep a secret when Edward could see her visions.

"It took all of the tricks I have ever learned," she said. "But I was able to keep him out of this vision."

"What vision?" I asked confused.

"When we saw Samantha, I could smell something similar in her as he did," she said. "So I did as much, I guess you could call it research, as I could."

I nodded still confused.

She looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I found out that Samantha was related to you."

"But...but...why didn't you...?" I began to ask.

"I didn't just tell him because I know my brother," she said. "If I would have told him that straight up he would have refused, and I'm sure regressed."

"So you decided to sacrifice my cousin's happiness?" I asked a little shocked.

"Bella," she said. "I see that it is all going to work out fine. I can't quite see how, but I see that it does."

I brought my hands to my face; I had no idea what to think about anything anymore. I felt as if I was more confused than ever.

"Bella," she said again as she put a hand around my wrist, pulling it down so I would look at her. "I promise. She will be fine. You will be fine. Everybody will be fine."

"It's just hard to believe that from where I am sitting right now," I said.

"Trust me Bella," she said as she hugged me. "I have always loved you as my sister and I always will. Everything is going to work out for everybody."

I nodded and took in a deep breath to settle myself down.

"Now," Alice said. "Are you ready to go shopping?"

Suddenly I felt as if I needed more than a deep breath to settle myself down.


	23. Chapter 23: Christmas Eve

**Thanks to Chellie09 for her wonderful editing skills and helping with the though process : )**

**Chapter 23**

**Christmas Eve**

**BPOV**

The thoughts in my mind rushed around, but they were no match for Alice's fury around so many stores.

"So, do we want to shop together, or do we need to go our separate ways?" she asked looking around, "This isn't much but I'm sure I can find SOMETHING!"

"Um," I said as I brought my hand to my head, still confused, "separate I guess?"

Alice smiled as she bounced up and down then started rambling, "Great! So how long do you need?... I can probably be done in about 15 minutes since I know exactly what I need to pick up and where it is, but I imagine that you will need longer than that... Won't you?... Just be careful because if anything happened to you Edward would dismember and burn me... maybe I should stick with you... no... what's the fun in that?... well it is you we are talking about isn't it Bella?" She chuckled at the end of her little rant; it's a good thing she didn't need to breathe.

I didn't really pay attention to her, I was still concentrating on what she had said on the way over...she knew that Samantha was related to me and it would work out that Edward would find me again. I still didn't totally understand it.

"Bella?" I heard Alice asking, "Bella? Earth to Bella. Are you there?"

"Yeah," I said shaking my head back and forth, trying to straighten out everything in there, "yeah, I'm here. What were you asking?"

Alice sighed, "How long do you think you need?" she asked me again.

"Oh," I said as I thought about my list. It wasn't very long but I wasn't totally sure what all I would be getting. "I don't know. Maybe an hour?" I really wasn't sure.

"That should work," she said. "Jasper will be in later tonight, so we have a while."

"Jasper's coming?" I asked a bit shocked.

"Yes silly," she said, as she smiled. "I can't spend a Christmas away from my Jasper. The rest are staying home though."

It made me a bit nervous. Even though I knew it was an accident, what happened with Jasper was still the reason that Edward left me. I wasn't sure how it would go seeing him again, especially if Edward isn't back by then. I was kind of happy Em and Rose were staying behind because I know Rose didn't like me, but it would have been nice to see Carlisle and Esme. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I thought about it.

"No need to worry Bella," Alice said as she brought her hand to my arm to comfort me. "He's fine. You have no idea how sorry he is, and everything will be fine. I promise." I couldn't help but smile at her as she smiled at me; I guess that was one more gift to add to my list.

"Oh!" she said just before we were ready to go our separate ways. "I almost forgot. Edward wanted me to give this to you when we got here." I held out my hand as she handed me a white envelope with a smile before she said, "Happy shopping! I'll see you back here in about an hour." With that she went off to shop.

I slowly started walking through the crowded mall as I opened the envelope and carefully pulled out a letter; in it was some money.

_Dearest Bella,_

_I know that you struggle to make it on your salary and you usually don't celebrate Christmas, so please use this money to buy the presents you feel you need to buy. Just being with you is gift enough for me, but I know the kind of person you are, and I know my sister. PLEASE use this money for anything you buy or want for yourself. If you need more ask Alice and I'll repay her later. I'll see you tonight._

_Love,_

_Edward_

I stopped in the middle of the mall with people passing by me and counted the money. Edward had given me a thousand dollars in cash to go Christmas shopping with. Of course he knew me, and he should have known me well enough to know that I wouldn't use his money, and I wasn't as bad off as he suspected for whatever reason. It made me think for a minute about what exactly did make him think I was so bad off. I stuffed it in a zipper compartment of my purse so it wouldn't be lost and headed on my way.

I made the mental shopping list in my head, "_Edward, Alice and now Jasper."_

I had no idea what to get the vampire who had everything. I found my way into a bookstore and found a book about local history. Even with Jasper living through a lot of it, I couldn't think of anything better to get him. I quickly made my way through the line and purchased the book using my own debit card. When I was done I grabbed the plastic bag and continued making my way through the mall. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it on my own.

I hated giving gift cards because I thought they were usually so impersonal, but I had no idea what to get Alice. She had everything she ever wanted and then some. I continued walking around hoping that I would get an idea for her, along with an idea for Edward.

When I was in the music store and looked through their CD's. I knew Edward had a collection probably bigger than the store along with Alice, so I quickly exited knowing that there was nothing there for them. I was getting more frustrated by the minute. I remembered this was one of the reasons I was content in not celebrating Christmas anymore.

As I passed the clothes stores I saw nothing, along with the jewelry stores. I just didn't see anything for either of them that caught my eye, and then I had an idea for Alice. As I passed by one of the stands in the middle of the walkways selling make-up the idea came clear to me. I sat down on one of the benches and thought about it for a moment...yes, it would be perfect and wouldn't cost me a dime. I stood up and continued walking as I kept looking for a gift for Edward.

He said he didn't want anything, but I knew that he either had something for me, or will get something for me, so I would feel bad if I didn't have anything for him in return. As I looked through the windows of the stores I just didn't see anything that screamed Edward to me.

Just as I was about to give up I found a new shop that had opened since the last time I was at the mall. There was a new antique store, so I went in and looked around thinking that maybe I would find something for him or something better for Alice. As I looked around I didn't see much, but then something caught my eye in one of the cases.

"Excuse me sir, could I get a look at that?" I asked as I pointed to an item in the case. An older man with glasses opened the glass from the back and pulled the item out, allowing me to look at it carefully. I couldn't help but smile as I pulled out my wallet and said, "I'll take it!"

After I swiped my debit card I looked at the clock on my cell phone and realized that it was just about time to find Alice. When I turned the corner to where Alice had left me I saw her standing there with two arms decorated with bags. As soon as she saw me she started jumping up and down with excitement.

"I love it!" she said running to me and practically tackling me to the ground as she wrapped her arms around me.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Your gift to me!" she said with a smile as she took a step backwards to look at me. "I saw it as soon as you decided."

I looked at her strange for a minute; I forgot that she would know what I got her and everybody else.

"You didn't change your mind did you?" she asked with a look of fear on her face. "PLEASE tell me you didn't change your mind!"

"No," I said quietly, almost instantly regretting my decision. "I didn't change my mind."

"Bella, you have no idea how excited this makes me!" she shrieked again as she was practically jumping up and down while people stared at us as if she was crazy.

"Shh, Alice," said as I placed both hands on her shoulders to try to settle her down. "I see you're excited, but people are starting to stare."

"Alright," she said, "I'm sorry. It's just that I've been waiting for this moment FOREVER!"

"Fine Alice," I said as I started to aim her towards the door. "I'm glad you like it, can we go now?"

"Yes, yes!" she said skipping out of the mall beside me. I hadn't been that embarrassed in years, probably since Charlie asked me if Jake and I were having sex. That thought still sent shivers down my spine.

"And Jasper will love his gift." Alice told me as we walked to the car. "He doesn't have that one, so it will be great."

"Great," I said quietly as we made our way to the car.

"And Edward will love his gift," she said after I unlocked the doors and we sat down.

"You think so?" I asked, still not sure.

"I do," she said. "Do you know why?"

I shook my head no.

"Because it came from you," she said with a smile.

It was hard for me to believe that, but it was a nice thought. With that thought in my head I started the car and headed home.

Once Alice and I were back at my apartment I put all my bags in my room and Alice plopped hers on the sofa.

"Why don't you grab something to eat and then head to bed," she suggested.

"I'm not tired yet," I said. It was just late afternoon.

"Edward should be here around 11:00 tonight," she said simply. "Why don't you take a couple of these sleeping pills, then you can be rested for when he gets here? I picked them up while I was out thinking they might help." She shrugged her shoulders and looked at me with a questioning eye.

That actually sounded like a plan. If I could sleep now then I would have all night with him. I grabbed the two pills Alice had in her hand and gulped them down with a glass of water. I then made myself a quick sandwich. It didn't take too long for the pills to take control and I was yawning.

"Nighty-night Bella," she said.

I walked over to Alice and wrapped my arms around her, "Thanks Alice."

"No problem Bella. Now you go get some rest and I'll tidy up around here," she said.

I turned around, washed myself up in the bathroom and then made my way to the bedroom. I changed into some comfortable pajamas and crawled into bed. Even with the sunlight making its way through the curtains on the window it didn't take too long for my eyes to close and find myself asleep.

**EPOV**

I was trying to get my way back to Bella's apartment as fast as I could. After spending some time with Samantha and her father, I told them I had to go check into my hotel and would see them in the morning. Of course I drove the opposite direction towards Bella.

I had given Alice specific directions to give Bella some money to shop with. I was hoping she didn't find it insulting, but I know she's stretched on her budget. I also know that she wasn't planning on spending anything on Christmas gifts, but was feeling imposed to do so now that we were celebrating the holiday. I told her in all honesty, just being with her is all that I want; all that I ever want, and it was the truth.

I also gave her instructions to get a few things to have ready for when I get there. I remember Bella talking about her favorite Christmas memory. I asked Alice to get a few things together so that I could hopefully be part of her favorite holiday tradition this year. I knew Alice had done everything I asked, but I wanted to put the finishing touches on everything myself, if possible. Part of me thinks it would have been quicker to just run, but I know it honestly wouldn't be.

When I was about ready to pull the steering wheel out of the body of the car out of frustration, I pulled into her apartment building parking lot. I looked at the clock and it was almost 11:00. I quickly turned off the car, grabbed my bag and locked the car as I ran up the stairs. I didn't even have to knock at the door and it opened.

"Merry Christmas, Edward!" Alice said with a smile as she greeted me at the door.

"Merry Christmas, Alice," I said as I gave her a hug, then I saw Jasper standing a bit behind her and nodded in his direction, "Jasper, Merry Christmas."

"Same to you Edward," he said. I couldn't help but notice how tense he seemed to be.

After that, Alice showed me where everything was that she bought earlier today and then pointed out a little box on the kitchen counter.

"Good luck!" she said with a kiss on my cheek before she exited, followed by Jasper.

With my speed I had everything done in the blink of a human eye and I stepped back to look at my work. I could have done better if I had better resources, but beggars can't be choosers. Finding a smile on my face, I turned and faced Bella's bedroom door. I took one last look around the room and headed towards the door.

As I entered her room I saw her sprawled out on her bed. Her chestnut hair was all over her pillow and she was lying partly on her side and partly on her back with the covers totally off of her body. She was wearing a pair of green cotton pajamas, and was looking as beautiful as ever; though I'm sure she would have been embarrassed. I hated to disturb her, but I knew from Alice that she's been out for about 6 hours. I made my way to her bed, pulled the covers up around her and ran the pads of my fingers over the side of her face. This caused her curl totally on her side facing me. I couldn't help but smile a bit. Then, I ran the back of my hand along the side of her warm face. As I did that she shifted her head a bit and I smiled again. I missed the warmth of her body so much.

"Bella?" I said gently as I rubbed the palm of my hand over the side of her face this time. "Isabella?"

"Hmmmmm?" she said sleepily as her whole body shifted toward me slightly under the covers, still asleep.

"Bella?" I said gently again as my hand ran down a bit over her neck where I can feel the throbbing of her blood and then moved it a bit more down her arm. "Bella, wake up sweetheart."

I couldn't help but smile, looking directly at her as her eyes fluttered open and they began to focus on me. It took a moment, but once she was awake she smiled back at me.

"Merry Christmas," I said quietly to her.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered back to me as the blush began to fill her cheeks. She grabbed my hand, wrapped it in hers, and scooted over in her bed. I accepted the invitation as I laid next to her, but kept the layer of covers around her so that she could stay warm.

"How long have you been here?" she asked with a smile. "And what time is it?"

"I've only been here a few minutes," I said. "And it's about 11:30."

"Ohmygod," she moaned quietly as she ran her empty hand through her hair. "I must look like a mess, and my breath! I'm going to go freshen up."

"No, you look heavenly and you can't go alone," I said, pulling her closer to me. "You'll ruin the surprise."

"What?" she asked.

"I have a bit of a surprise out there for you," I said. "Not much, but a little something I hope you'll like."

"Edward," she said, "you didn't have to do anything for me. Christmas is just another day to me."

"No it's not; it shouldn't be just another day to you," I said. "It's a day most of the world celebrates and so we are too."

"Fine," she said with a bit of a pout. "But can I at least pee and brush my teeth, you know, a human moment?"

I laughed and nodded yes, "Of course. But I am going to make sure you don't see anything."

With a sigh, she got out of bed, adjusted the warm socks on her feet and headed towards the door.

"Not so fast!" I said with a laugh. I placed my hands around her eyes and led her to the bathroom while she pouted some more. Once she was safely in the little room I closed the door and told her to let me know when she was finished. A few minutes later she announced she was ready. With that, I told her to close her eyes. I opened the door and put my hands over her eyes again. I lead her towards the living room, found the perfect spot for her to stand and then I took my hands off of her eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Isabella," I said proudly.

She looked around the room and I saw tears start to form in her eyes. She brought her hands up to her mouth as the tears started to roll down her cheeks slowly, one by one.

"Do you like it?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her waist, hoping that this was acceptable to her.

She turned to me as the tears started to fall a bit more and she tried to gather her words, "Edward. It's perfect."

**Leave a review and let me know what you think, thanks!**


	24. Chapter 24: Santa

**Thanks as always to Chellie09 for all of her help!**

**Chapter 24**

**Santa **

**EPOV**

"_Merry Christmas, Isabella," I said proudly._

_She looked around the room and I saw tears start to form in her eyes. She brought her hands up to her mouth as the tears started to roll down her cheeks slowly, one-by-one._

"_Do you like it?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her waist, hoping that this was acceptable to her._

_She turned to me as the tears started to fall a bit more and she tried to gather her words, "Edward. It's perfect."_

At first I wasn't sure if her tears were of joy or sadness. Having caused so many tears of sadness, that was always my first thought when they fell from her eyes.

"You really like it?" I asked still not believing her.

She turned to me and looked straight into my eyes, "I do. I love it. It's perfect!" She paused for a moment as she continued to stare at me and then again looked around the room before asking, "How did you know?"

I sighed. I wish I had known that this is how she would have set up her apartment for Christmas to remind her of her Christmases growing up, but I had to thank Alice for that. I could get into the minds of everybody else, but the one I most wanted to at times was always closed off and silent to me. I couldn't even do something simple like this without help from my sister, and it saddened me a bit, but was happy that at least Alice could help me a bit with this.

"Alice," I said quietly as I looked around the room yet again. "When we were talking about it the other night she had a vision that I caught glimpse of. I guess you were envisioning how you would decorate your apartment."

When my eyes made their way back to Bella's beautiful tear-stained face she was smiling, "Thank you. It's the best present I could wish for right now."

Those words brought a smile to my face since I know that she truly meant them. I had finally done something to bring joy to her life, I wasn't sure I was capable of it anymore.

She left my grasp and walked around the room running her hand over everything. She started with the candy cane looking candles on the counter that I would call tacky and moved over to the Christmas tree in the corner of the room. She moved her face closer to the tree as she pulled up a small bit of the pine tree in her hand to smell it. With a smile she let the branch fall back into place as she looked at the ornaments. I didn't want to disturb her because I was enjoying watching her enjoy the moment.

"You added some," she said, it wasn't a question.

"Yes," I said as I made my way over to meet her by the tree, "well no." I then corrected myself, "Alice picked some up."

She had one in her hand that was a little school teacher cat sitting behind a desk with papers on the top marked with A's. The smile she had on her face absolutely lit up the room. After letting that one fall to dangle from the tree again she moved to another ornament of a pair of puppies standing under an umbrella with little clear plastic rain falling down on them. This brought a smile to her face as she turned to me with a questioning look, "Is this to remind me of Forks?"

"I would imagine," I said as I quietly chuckled at the little ornament and made my way a bit closer to her. "You'll have to ask Alice to be sure though." Knowing my sister I imagine that ornament was to remind Bella of her and I back in Forks.

She smiled at me and then her eyes returned to the tree where she saw an ornament of a police officer, "Charlie," she said with a bigger smile. She turned to me with a bit of a worried look on her face and asked, "Please don't let me forget to call him today."

"I won't," I said as her eyes caught glimpse of another ornament on the tree.

"This is beautiful," she said as she placed her hand on the last new ornament on the tree. She looked over at me with a smile, "Do you still play?"

I walked over to her and placed my hand behind hers as we both held up the ornament in the shape of a grand piano, which of course my dear sister meant to represent me.

"I haven't much lately," I said honestly.

"Why not?" she asked, "I always loved to listen to you play. You're music was beautiful."

"I haven't been in the mood lately. I will start to play again then though," I stated with a smile as her eyes met mine and we found ourselves lost in each other yet again.

"I think that would be nice," she said quietly as she let the piano dangle out of her reach and she continued to look around the room.

There were some cheesy holiday decorations sitting around like little Santa Clause figurines and pillows sitting on her sofa along with a big bowl full of chestnuts sitting on her coffee table.

"Oh my," she said quietly and started to giggle as she sat down on the sofa picking up one of the chestnuts from the overflowing bowl. "Charlie used to love these around Christmas." Her eyes then focused on that one in her hand as she continued, looking a little sad, "It's been so long, I wonder if he still does."

I didn't quite know what to do. Part of me wanted to suggest that she go back to see Charlie for the remainder of the holiday, but the selfish monster in me didn't want her to leave. I had to remember that my selfishness hurt us both before, so I thought of her happiness.

"Why don't you go back to Forks today, Bella?" I asked as I sat next to her on the sofa, picking up one of those chestnuts myself, "I will get you a ticket to fly up and visit if you wish."

Bella smiled and looked up at me, "Part of me would like that," she said honestly, "but I don't want to leave here, I don't want to leave this, I don't want to leave you."

I couldn't help but smile at that response.

"So should we see what Santa brought you?" I asked.

"What?" she asked looking confused.

"Merry Christmas," I said giving her a hug.

I motioned over to the clock in the room with a nod showing her it was past midnight; it was officially Christmas morning.

"Santa? You know, the big fat man with a white beard and red suit?" I said with a laugh. "He tends to bring presents on Christmas? I'm sure he used to visit you since you were such a good girl growing up."

"I know who Santa is," she said laughing herself. "But what are you talking about?"

"The stockings," I said as I motioned to them hanging on the small mantle in her apartment.

Her eyes grew as big as saucers as her heart beat with excitement when she saw the stockings. If I hadn't known better I would have thought she was 10 years old the way she looked with the excitement.

"You know," I said grabbing her hand, "when I was a little boy, I remember being excited Christmas morning to see what Santa brought me. It wasn't much, but it meant the world to me as a boy."

"What would you get?" Bella asked me.

I couldn't help but smile at the foggy memories that were coming back to me in bits and pieces, "Little toys, candy, things like that."

"I used to get little stuff in my stocking too," Bella admitted. "But I always loved waiting to see what was in there."

"Well go see," I said motioning yet again to the stockings.

With yet another smile she got up and cautiously walked over to the stockings, "I imagine this one is for you?"

"Knowing my sister, I would guess yes," I laughed. "Though it wasn't part of the plan."

She walked back over to the sofa with them in her hands, and handed me the one designated for me before sitting down and curling up next to me.

"Let's see," I said peeking into her stocking.

Bella reached into her stocking and pulled out the first item.

"Airline tickets?" She looked at me as if my heart had started to beat again.

"Yes," I said. "I realized that you probably never had the chance to use those airline tickets that Esme and Carlisle had gotten you for your birthday that year." I couldn't help but think back to that awful night as I turned my gaze to the floor. After I realized that she was really sitting here with me, I returned my eyes to her and continued, "I didn't think it was fair that you lose out on a trip of your choice because of what I did."

"Edward," she said holding the tickets up, "this is too much. _Way_ too much. I can't accept these."

"Please," I pleaded quietly. "I know it in no way makes up for anything I did, but I do feel horrible you didn't get to take your trip."

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow and tossed the tickets on the coffee table saying, "We'll see, and they are way more than a stocking gift!"

As she continued to dig in the stocking she pulled out some of the rock candy I had gotten for her that was a tradition in my family as I was growing up. Then she pulled out a small stuffed lion, I had no idea it was in there.

"A lion?" she asked holding it up as the memory came back to her with a blush, "Because you're my sick masochistic lion."

I brought my hand to her leg as she continued going through her stocking as she pulled out the girly stuff I had asked Alice to get for her since she was the expert on lip gloss and perfume and Bella seemed to be more into that than she was when we were back in Forks.

"Thank you," she said with a smile and pink cheeks. I simply smiled and nodded back.

"Let's take a look and see what Santa brought you," she said, nudging me with her shoulder and a laugh. "Because I truly have no idea."

Alice loved these moments, so I could only imagine what was in mine. She did a good job at blocking everything out of her mind. I pulled out the items she had gotten for me, CD's I was looking to get and such; the last item I pulled out was the completion of the set Bella had started.

"A lamb," I said aloud with a bit of a chuckle. That day back in our meadow was on my top 5 memories from over the past 100 years. I'll never forget it as long as I roam the earth.

"Because the lion fell in love with the lamb," Bella said in a quiet voice as she held her stuffed lion while looking at the lamb in my hands. I remembered back to when I had said that phrase to her so many years ago back in forks as we laid in our meadow. After a moment her eyes came to mine and looked as if they were looking for an answer. All I wanted to do at that moment was take her in my arms and kiss her while I apologized over again and again in an attempt to make things better, or take us back in time.

Before I knew it I heard her clear her throat and she stood up as she still held that stuffed lion in her hand.

She pointed to the kitchen awkwardly saying, "I think I'm going to make some coffee." I sat there and watched from the kitchen. I thought this was one of those moments where she needed some space.

I heard the coffee beginning to brew as she made her way out to me with a bit of a yawn and then began to chuckle, "So if those were the presents from Santa, I'm a little scared of what you got me."

"I don't think you need to worry," I said quietly. "Shall we look under the tree?"

"There's a present here from Alice to you," I said pulling a fairly large box out from under the tree.

"Ok," she said, "now I'm officially scared." We both laughed before she said, "Oh look! There's a note!"

She opened the note very carefully and read it aloud.

_Bella,_

_I saw your Christmas present to me while we were still shopping, so I bought this for you! I hope you don't mind, but I'm sure you'll LOVE it! Just tell me when and where and I'll be ready. Have I told you that I LOVE my present?_

_Alice_

_P.S. Enjoy the rest of the night with Edward, you both deserve it._

I was very curious now, "What is it?"

"I knew I was going to regret this," she said as she started to carefully un-wrap the box. When it was fully open she pulled out a beautiful blue dress and matching pair of shoes. The blue was a beautiful shade that reminded me of the color of the dress she wore when we went to the prom, and if I had to be honest the shoes looked a bit too dangerous for Bella.

"Care to elaborate?" I asked her again.

She sighed before she opened her mouth to speak, "I was trying to figure out what I could get you all for Christmas within my own budget that you would like." She leaned back into the sofa and put the box on the floor beside her before she continued, "I found a stupid book for Jasper since I found out he was going to be here tonight, but I had an awful time finding something for you and Alice."

I shook my head back and forth a bit irritated, "You didn't have to get us anything. Besides, didn't Alice give you the envelope I left for you?"

"She did," Bella said as she stood up and walked over to her purse, pulled the envelope out and handed it back to me on her way back, "Thank you. I appreciate the gesture, I really do, but I wanted to do this on my own." I nodded, I wasn't sure if she would take it or not, but I wanted to try to make her more comfortable.

"So anyway, as I was walking through the mall I got a thought about something Alice would love, and apparently I was right," she said with a roll of her eyes and chuckle. After a sigh she said, "I decided I would be Alice's human Barbie." Then I noticed she looked down at the floor and fiddled with her pajama pants a bit before continuing as her heart raced, "I figured maybe we could go out one night and do something." She took in a deep breath to seem to relax herself before she looked back up at me with a small smile, "If you want to do something that is, or of course we could always stay in."

I couldn't help but smile, "Of course I'd love to do something! And are you sure you know what you are getting yourself into with Alice?"

She returned my smile and nodded in agreement. We just stared into each other's eyes for a few moments before she sighed again and stood up, tucked some hair behind her ear and walked over to the tree. "Well this gift is for you. Alice must have wrapped it while I was asleep." She picked up a wrapped gift, brought it over the sofa, and sat it nervously in her lap. I saw before that the gift in her lap was addressed to me from her.

"You are not an easy person to shop for Edward Cullen," she said with a bit of a nervous laugh. "Not as easy as letting someone torture you for a few hours to let them make you beautiful."

My heart sank a bit. I hated how she felt about herself, "You're beautiful just as you are Bella."

"Whatever," she said fluffing the comment off with the fly of her hand. "Anyway, I actually found this and it made me think of you."

She handed me the wrapped gift and sat there with her heart beat racing.

I carefully unwrapped the present and tossed the wrapping aside as I picked it up to examine it.

"Bella, where did you find this?" I asked. I hadn't seen anything like it for years. I held it up and examined it at every angle I could, and then flipped through the pages.

"I found it at an antique store at the mall," she said. "If you want to return it, I don't know if they do returns but..."

"No," I said looking at her, "I don't want to return it Isabella. I love it."

She seemed more relaxed again and her heart beat slowed.

"The man said it was from the early 1900's," she said. "I figured it would be nice place for you to write your music." Then she looked a little sad, "I hope you're still composing."

I hadn't for years, but she didn't need to know that. "I know the first piece I'll write in here. I love it Bella, I really do. Thank you." I quickly pulled her close wanting a kiss but settling for the embrace before saying, "Now it's your turn."

I raced over to the tree and back before she could even notice I was gone, and handed her a small wrapped box.

"Edward," she scolded me. "I hope you didn't spend a lot of money."

"Not a dime," I said, honestly.

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously," I said, "not a cent."

"We'll see about that," she said with a little laugh as she un-wrapped the box revealing a black velvet jewelry box.

"Edward," she whined.

"I promise you I didn't spend a cent Bella," I said as I rolled my eyes. I would spend millions of dollars on her if she let me, but I know that doesn't make her happy. I figured I should explain myself before she opened the box.

"It's a hand-me-down," I said. "This actually belonged to my mother and I wanted you to have it." I saw her look up at me with another nervous, questioning look. "I've given other pieces of my mother's collection to Esme, Rose and Alice if that makes you feel any better, but I've been saving this for someone special. I hope you like it."

She nodded and then carefully raised the lid and reached her hand in to pull out the bracelet.

"It's... it's..." she couldn't get the words out as she stared at it. "It's beautiful Edward, it really is."

With my speed I secured it around her wrist. She held her wrist up examining it in the dim light of the room and I couldn't help but smile as I saw my mother's diamond heart pendant on a bracelet securely around Bella's wrist.

"I figured that it would help you remember me," I said. "Since it is a lot like my heart; still, hard and yours. That way a part of me can always be with you."

Bella's eyes found their way to mine and I saw her eyes start to fill with tears. Within moments she found her way to me and was sitting in my lap, her arms wrapped around me, her head lying on my chest. Her scent enveloped me as I wrapped my arms around her. I carefully ran my hand through her hair and tried to rub her back to comfort her. I hated that I had caused her so much pain and was still doing so. I felt my body tense up with the thoughts running through my head and she must have felt it too.

"Stop," she whimpered as she brought her head from my chest and wiped some of the tears away. "Whatever you're tensing up over, just stop."

"I'm sorry," said. I didn't know what else to say.

"Let me just say these few things that are running through my mind," she said starting to control her breathing from the crying, "alright?"

I nodded as she broke our embrace and again sat next to me. I ached for her to be in my arms again.

"Let's start with the money," she said plainly. "I understand why you did it. I truly do. But I'm not as bad off as you think I am Edward." She wiped the last few tears from her face and looked around her apartment, "I think that as a single woman living off of a teaching salary I'm doing pretty good. I have my own place, I know it's not the best but it's my own and I like it and I have everything I need."

I started to interrupt her to try to defend myself but she stopped me.

"No. It's my time to speak now," she said as the assertive woman she had become. "I am able to get by with what I need and sometimes things that I just want for the heck of it. I'm fine with that and very happy Edward, really I am."

I looked at her and nodded because I really believed she was. She never wanted help when we were back in Forks so I shouldn't expect her to be any different now.

"So please don't take it as an insult that I didn't use your money, but I wanted to do this on my own; I had to do this on my own," she said.

I was proud of her for standing up for what she believed and happy that she was happy.

"And whatever was making you tense up Edward, you have to let me know," she said. "To be honest, it freaks me out a bit."

I looked at her wondering why. Being a monster didn't freak her out, but my tensing up did?

"Before you left back then, you tensed up and were very distant right before you...," she said sadly. "I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what was going on until it was too late."

And there it was again, me causing her sadness.

"I'm sorry Bella," I said as I reached my hand to hers. "I just hate that I caused you such unhappiness. It saddens me and that's why I tensed up."

"Just promise me," she said as she gripped my hand. "Promise me that we'll talk before anything else drastic happens, alright?"

I nodded and she leaned in for a kiss. It was a sweet, innocent kiss, and I would have loved to have taken much further, but I had to break us apart.

"Something drastic is about to happen," I said quietly, looking at her straight in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What?" she looked at me with a frantic look in her eyes.

It was just then that she heard her door being opened and I said, "Jasper and my sister are here, I'm sorry."

With that we both laughed a bit as Alice and Jasper made their way into the apartment, and Alice was just a bit excited.

"Bella!" she wailed.

Bella stood up and looked directly at Alice, "Shhhhhhhhhhhh! This apartment building is filled with humans trying to sleep!"

"You're right," Alice said. "I'm sorry. I'm just so excited! You loved the dress didn't you?"

"It was nice," Bella said. I stood up behind her and placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Nice. Nice Bella?" Alice said making her way over to us with Jasper quietly following. "Nice is a dress you can find at the mall Bella. That dress is a designer dress I ran out of the mall to get. Do you know how hard it is to find a designer dress around here?"

"No," Bella said with a chuckle. "I can't say that I do. And maybe I was a little unenthusiastic Alice, the dress truly is beautiful."

"Well thank you," Alice said quietly as she pushed the wrinkles out of her own dress.

I leaned down to Bella's ear and whispered, "Nice."

We both chuckled for a moment as Jasper made his way behind Alice.

"Bella," he said, "Edward. Merry Christmas."

I walked over to him and gave him a hug wishing him a Merry Christmas as I noticed Bella standing in the same spot looking a little nervous. I suddenly felt sad again as I realized she was nervous being around Jasper for the first time since her birthday party.

"Bella," Jasper said, "I haven't had the opportunity to properly apologize. I truly am sorry for what happened the last time we were together."

Bella inhaled a deep breath and looked up at him as he continued, "I feel I've come a ways in this lifestyle since then and I truly hope that someday you will be able to forgive me."

**BPOV**

I looked at those standing in front of me. Alice was standing beside Jasper, staring at me; Edward was standing on the other side of Jasper, staring at me, while Jasper was standing a few feet ahead of me, staring at me. I smiled as best as I could and said, "I forgive you, Jasper."

Alice seemed to be more relaxed as she exhaled a breath she didn't even need to hold and Edward now had a small smile on his face and looked less tense. Jasper took a step and handed me a small envelope.

"What's this?" I asked.

"A little present from me to you," Jasper said. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

I couldn't help but chuckle as I saw the card only needed to be opened by flipping it open.

I looked up at Jasper and found he was chuckling too, "I figured it would be better to be safe than sorry."

Inside was a gift card for $500 to the local book store. Just as I was about ready to protest, I suddenly felt a wave of calm wash over me.

"Thank you Jasper," I said debating what I should do next, and then I figured Edward or Alice would stop me if it was a bad idea. I cautiously made my way over to Jasper and gave him a hug. Very nervously her wrapped his arms around me for a brief moment and then let go. As I stepped away I couldn't help but smile at the reaction on Edward and Alice's faces. They were obviously very happy.

I gave Jasper his book which he seemed to really like. He sat on my sofa and seemed to enjoy taking his time reading through it.

"Edward," Alice said sadly. "You have to leave in a bit if you want to make it back in time. We'll be fine here."

Edward lowered his head and then looked up at me. Before I knew it he was to my side and grabbed my hand, leading me to my room. Once we were inside he closed my door and pulled me to my bed. I laid down and he pulled the covers up around me and then laid beside me. I turned to him, placed my head on his chest, and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly as he began to play with my hair. "I have to figure someway to fix this. I just need a bit of time."

I nodded silently into his chest as his arm found its way around me with a squeeze of comfort. "Go to sleep my Isabella. I promise you I'll figure a way to work this all out."

"I love you," I whispered as I pulled him closer. A human wouldn't have heard it, but I know he did and I could sense the smile now on his face.

"And I love you," he whispered. "I always have and I always will."

"Merry Christmas, Edward," I said looking up at him.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," he said as he gave me a kiss on the top of my head. After that he hummed a song I hadn't heard for years but loved as much now as I did when I first heard it. I fell asleep in his arms as he hummed me my lullaby.

_**Thanks for reading! Leave a review to let me know what you think ; )**_


	25. Chapter 25: Surprise Visitor

Chellie09 is the best! Thanks!

**Chapter 25**

**Surprise Visitor**

**EPOV**

It took every fiber of my monstrous being to tear myself away from her. I could tell from her breathing and heartbeat that she was asleep. If I had my way I would stay here with her until she woke again but I couldn't. I had made my theoretical bed, now I had to lay in it so to speak. Before I talked myself out of it, I gave Bella a light kiss on her forehead before I gently moved her off of me onto her soft pillow and stood up. After carefully covering her with her blanket and watching her readjust in the bed I slowly made my way out to the living room. As soon as the door was closed I heard Alice.

"You better get going Edward," Alice said.

"Alice," I said pinching the bridge of my nose out of frustration, "what am I supposed to do? What am I going to do? Have you seen anything?"

Jasper made his way over to Alice and wrapped his arms around her as she shook her head. I'm sure he was taking the brunt of the stress in the room.

"You haven't seen anything?" Jasper asked as he looked at her and gave her a kiss on her temple to try to calm her down. She shook her head no. I could tell it frustrated her as much as it did me but I didn't know what else to do.

"Damn it!" I said as I fisted my hands to my sides in frustration. "How could you do this Alice?"

"How could I do what?" she asked, now obviously frustrated and angry. "Bring you and Bella back together?"

"How could you cause this whole mess?" I said. "Between Bella and Samantha everybody seems to be getting hurt."

"Would you have listened to me otherwise Edward?" she asked, and before I could reply she answered, "I didn't think so. This is the only way I could get you back to Bella. And let's not forget Bella back to you."

"But damn it Alice!" I said irritated. "Do you see how difficult this is on her?"

"Did you see how difficult you leaving in the first place was for her?" Alice rebutted.

"That's not the point Alice!" I yelled softly, remembering my Bella sleeping in the next room.

"Yes it is Edward!" she yelled softly making her way closer to me. "You were so hard-headed! You were set on leaving her, and you did. How was it for you, huh? Was it everything you expected it to be?"

She looked at me with disgust in her eyes, "You moped around the world for months. You barely fed yourself, tried to get yourself killed and just about tore those who love you apart by pushing us away."

Alice picked up a leather bound book and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked with a sigh of frustration.

"I found it. It's Bella's. Look at the marked page," she replied.

I took the book and opened it to the barely bent down page. A human would never see it. As I opened to the page it looked like a poem.

"What is it?" I asked again.

Alice sighed, "Just read it. It's in Bella's words; I think you need to see it."

_There's a possibility  
There's a possibility  
All that I had was all I gon' get  
There's a possibility  
There's a possibility  
All I gon' get is gone with your step_

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,  
You're the only who knows  
Tell me when you hear my silence  
There's a possibility  
I wouldn't know

Know that when you leave  
Know that when you leave  
By blood and by mean  
You walk like a thieve  
By blood and by mean  
I fall when you leave

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,  
You're the only who knows  
Tell me when you hear my silence  
There's a possibility  
I wouldn't know

Tell me when my sigh is over  
You're the reason why I'm close  
Tell me if you hear me falling  
There's a possibility  
It wouldn't show

By blood and by mean  
I fall when you leave  
By blood and by mean  
I follow your lead

I read it again several times. I couldn't believe that I had put Bella through feeling like that. I would have to spend the rest of eternity knowing that and try to make up for it, though I know I never could.

I looked up at Alice and remembered those days in my own life. I wanted to die for good, to try to put myself out of my misery, never wanting to feel anything again.

"How fair was all of that to those you supposedly love Edward?" she asked then continued, "It wasn't just you and Bella that lost people they loved."

I hadn't thought about it in that light. When I returned to my family, they welcomed me with open arms and they had every right not to with the way that I behaved.

"You're right Alice," I said, dropping my head. If I could have cried tears of frustration at this moment I would have, "I don't know what to do." I looked at Jasper who I was sure could feel my helplessness. "I just don't know what to do."

I moved the short distance to my sister who had supported me through thick and thin since she joined the family and wrapped my arms around her.

"I just don't know what to do Alice," I said. "I can't lose Bella again."

"Edward," Alice said looking up at me, "I don't know why, but I have this feeling that it won't be as bad as you are expecting it to be."

I looked at her with a questioning look, not knowing what she meant.

"I know," she said as she closed her eyes and shook her head, "I don't understand it either. I don't _see_ anything, but I get this feeling that it's not going to be all that bad."

"I hope you're right," I said.

She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and said, "You better head out, or Samantha is going to wonder what happened to you."

I sighed and looked back at Bella's door as Alice said, "Don't worry; we'll keep an eye on her."

"Thank you Alice," I said giving her one last hug and then extended my hand to Jasper, "Thanks Jasper."

I then made my way out the door and back to Samantha.

**BPOV**

It was just after 3 AM when my eyes focused on my alarm clock. I quickly peeked around my room which was of course empty. I sighed and closed my eyes, remembering my night with Edward. Before too long I heard a noise what drew me out of my thoughts and my eyes moved to my bedroom door. Wondering what exactly it as that I was hearing, I got out of bed and made my way out into the living room.

Seeing what was happening, I asked, "What are you doing?"

Alice looked at me with a smile, "Well, I was a little bored while you slept, so I decided to rearrange your furniture." With her hands on her hips as she looked around the room with a smile on her face she asked, "What do you think?"

Still half asleep I just yawned and then shrugged my shoulders.

"You have to still be exhausted," Alice said as she made her way over to wrap her arms around me. "And I think Edward will kill me if he knows I woke you up. I'm sorry."

"You didn't wake me up Alice," I said with a smile, "no need to worry."

"Good! So are you up for a while? Can we have some girl time?" she asked as excited as ever.

"Ummmmmm," I said looking around, "I guess so. Where's Jasper?"

"Oh," Alice said, "he went hunting; he won't be back for a while."

I grabbed a blanket from the top of my sofa and curled up under it as Alice sat next to me.

"So what do you have in mind?" I asked.

"I have your night planned for you!" she said all excited. It took me a minute to register it all.

"Remember my Christmas present?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "I know I didn't! I told Edward I'm going to plan a nice night for the two of you for tomorrow night."

"I believe I just gave you the human Barbie gift," I told her.

"Did you honestly think I'd be able to stop there silly Bella?" she said with a laugh. I should have known better.

With a sign I conceded and listened to the few details of her plans that she would tell me. She figured that since we would be having our moment at an odd time for humans she would rent us a hotel room for us. She said that as _charming_ as my apartment was, it just wasn't what she had in mind. I decided to ignore her comment; I knew neither she nor her brother would ever approve of the way I currently lived. She didn't give many more details than that but a part of me figured that was for the best.

I looked on my coffee table and saw my journal.

"What's that doing out?" I asked protectively as I grabbed it.

"I found it when I was moving things," she said. "I hope you don't mind that I read through it."

I'm sure I was beet red by this point. This was a place that I wrote most of my deepest feelings and nobody had ever read it before. I had taken up writing poetry shortly after my 18th birthday, when I didn't have anywhere else to turn about my feelings. I never intended for anyone to ever read it all, but I guess it was too late now. I assume Alice could tell I wasn't very happy about it.

"I'm sorry," she said honestly, apologizing. "But I have to tell you Bella, it's all quite good."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes! The emotion you put into your writing, you should publish some of those," she said.

I shook my head no; I didn't want any more of the world to see my deepest, darkest days. "Thanks though."

Alice nodded and then her face went blank as she stared into space. It had been awhile, but I remembered that look.

"Alice?" I asked as I dropped the book back on the table. "Alice? What's wrong?"

She didn't answer me, just continued staring into space.

"Alice?" I asked again. "OhmyGod! Alice, what's wrong? Is it Edward?"

After a few moments of silence she looked back at me.

"Alice? What's wrong?" I asked once more.

"I...I...I don't know," she said.

"What did you see?" I asked. "I'm not stupid Alice, I know you saw something, just tell me. Who was it?"

"You," she said bluntly.

"Me?" I asked.

"Yes, you Bella," she said as she turned to look directly at me.

"Your future disappeared," Alice said as she stared at me with a worried look on her face.

"My future?" I asked, extremely confused. "Why?"

"I don't know," she said quietly as she looked at me with extreme worry. "This isn't good."

"Alice?" I said with worry in my voice.

A few moments later both of our heads turned towards the door as we heard a key being placed into the keyhole. The door quickly unlocked and then slowly opened. As it did, a familiar body slipped silently in the apartment, closing the door behind him. Alice stood up as if she was ready to attack as he locked the door behind him. When he turned around with his large duffel bag on his back he saw both Alice and I staring at him, my face with a friendlier look than Alice's.

"Jacob?" I asked in disbelief, "Jacob, what are you doing here?"

"Merry Christmas, Bella!" Jacob said. "I was hoping to slip in and just crash on your couch to surprise you when you woke up in the morning. Surprise!"

Jacob then stopped where he was and looked as if he was sniffing the air, "What is that stench?" Not a moment later his eyes focused on Alice. His face had a look of disgust on it as he looked directly at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm a friend of Bella's," Alice said as she looked directly at Jacob with a look of disgust.

"Well I'm a friend of Bella's, too," Jacob looked over at me and then looked back over at Alice. "Her best friend, as a matter of fact."

"Oh, really?" Alice said standing straight up.

"Yeah," Jacob said as he gently tossed his bags to the floor beside him after crossing his arms confidently over his chest and saying, "since you and the rest of your blood-sucker family left her behind I've been her best friend."

"That wasn't my...," Alice started.

"Stop!" I yelled. My neck was tired from bouncing back and forth between the two of them. "Would you two stop?" I couldn't help the tears from falling from my eyes at this point, it was all getting too much to handle.

"See what you did?" Alice said as she glared at Jacob and then made her way over to comfort me.

Just as her arms made their way around me Jacob squinted his eyes and then moved towards me saying "Get your hands off of her, you have no right being here, how dare you? After what your so-called brother did to her? Do you even know?"

"Both of you; stop!" I said as I moved away from both of them, bringing my hands to my face out of frustration.

"Jacob," I said as I looked over at him, seriously confused, "what are you doing here?"

As I looked over at Jacob he was still staring at Alice so I repeated myself, "Jake? What are you doing here?"

He finally moved his attention from Alice to me and sighed, "I figured I would surprise you. Your dad was talking today about how he missed you and was wondering how you were doing. He wishes you would come home." He sighed again and then looked at me in my eyes, "So I told him I would come down here and use the key you gave me to surprise you so you won't be alone for the holiday since he couldn't come down."

I took in a deep breath and then exhaled, "That's so sweet Jacob, but I wish you would have called to let me know you were coming."

"Yeah," he said as he looked back over at Alice, "I wish I would have now, too."

I stepped back and looked between Alice and Jacob. They were acting as if they knew each other, but I couldn't remember a time when they were ever together back in Forks. Alice never joined me when I went to La Push and Jacob always refused to hang around when Edward or any of the other Cullens were around. As I thought of this they were still staring each other down.

"Do you two know each other?" I finally asked. I was thoroughly confused.

"No," they both answered in unison.

"Then what is up with all this?" I asked, gesturing between the two of them.

I thought about what had happened so far and my eyes must have gotten huge when I realized that Jacob called Alice a blood-sucker. _He knows!_

"Jacob?" I asked as I grabbed his arm to get his attention. How do you know _The Cullens_?"

"I don't know them," Jacob said. "I just know of them."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Jacob looked directly at me and said, "Bella, I know."

"You know what?" I asked, nervously hoping that the answer wouldn't be what I thought it was.

"I know what they _are_," he said disgusted through his teeth.

"How?" I asked.

"Bella," Alice jumped in, "I don't think it's such a good idea for him to be here."

"Why not?" I asked, now highly annoyed.

"Because of what _he_ is," Alice said through her teeth.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"You don't know?" she asked with big eyes.

"Know what?" I asked yet again.

"She doesn't know?" Alice asked as she looked over at Jacob.

I looked over at Jacob who was now looking at the floor shaking his head.

"Bella," Alice said, "you sure do know how to pick friends."

"Would someone just tell me what's going on here?" I asked. I couldn't take it anymore.

"You might want to sit down for this," Jacob said as he walked over towards me.

"I'm going to leave you two alone," Alice said. "The smell of wet dog in here is starting to get to me."

"Good riddance," Jacob said to her.

Before she left she motioned for me to come over to her by the door, which I did as Jacob was visibly frustrated by it all. "Be careful Bella," she whispered to me. "Don't make him angry and please be careful." She paused for a moment and made sure I had my cell phone in my hand, "I programmed my number in there, call me if you need me and I'll be here in a second."

"Why would I need that?" I asked.

"Just be careful," she said again. "Edward would send me to the Volturi to be killed if anything happened to you while on my watch."

After she hugged me she left and I turned around to face Jacob who was standing across the living room looking straight at me with sadness in his eyes.

"What's going on Jacob?" I asked. "Just tell me please."

"Come sit down Bells," he said, patting the sofa as he sat down.

I walked over to him and sat as he put his arm around my shoulders and sat with me like he did every September.

"You're starting to scare me Jake," I said.

"I don't want to scare you Bells," he said and then inhaled a deep breath. "First, I need to know, is it her, or is the whole family back? Is _he _back?"

I didn't know what the big problem was between them and it kept me from being able to look him straight in his eyes while I answered, "Alice and Jasper are here, and Edward is too."

Jacob's hands formed fists and they shook for a moment as he inhaled another deep breath.

"Jacob," I said, "what's going on? Just tell me what's going on. I feel like I'm the only one out of the loop!"

"Fine," he said, "do you remember that first day we walked First Beach and I told you about our legends?"

**Sorry it's been so long, thanks for commenting!**


	26. Chapter 26: Legends

**Thanks as always to Chellie09...and Happy Holidays to all : ) **

**Chapter 26**

**Legends**

**BPOV**

"_Jacob," I said, "what's going on? Just tell me what's going on. I feel like I'm the only one out of the loop!"_

"_Fine," he said, "do you remember that first day we walked First Beach and I told you about our legends?"_

"Yeah," I said wondering where this was going, "it was cold and we were walking on the beach."

"Yeah," he said as he scooted closer to me. Now sitting next to me with our knees touching, he grabbed for my hands, "Do you remember what we talked about? Our legends?"

"Of course," I said looking directly at him. "You told me about _the cold ones._"

Jacob looked directly at me and then sighed as his head dropped. I heard him inhale another deep breath as if he was trying to calm himself before he returned his stare to me, obviously not happy about something, "Of course that is what you would remember."

"Jacob," I said obviously frustrate, "we're both adults now, can you just tell me what's going on?"

"I can't," Jacob said frustrated himself.

"And why not?" I said getting angry as I yanked my hands from his. "If you wanted to talk with me about something, how are we going to talk about it if you can't tell me what it is?"

"I can't tell you," Jacob said. "But if you really think about it then you'll get it." He grabbed my hands again and held them tighter in his, then looked at me straight in my eyes, "Bella, think about it. What else did we talk about during that walk on the beach? _Besides_ _the cold ones."_

"You told me about them and about your Quileute legends," I said, still confused about what he was after.

"Yes!" he said with a smile. "Now, what about them?"

I thought about it a minute and then continued as I stared down at our hands, "You told me about the legend about how your family is descended from wolves, to protect the pale faces from _the cold ones._"

I looked up at Jacob and the look on his face is one that you would have seen from a lottery millionaire, and I had no idea why so I had to ask, "What?"

"You guessed it!" he said with a smile that now covered his entire face.

"I guessed what?" I asked, still confused.

"The Quileute legend! I'm Quileute, and therefore I'm...," he said before I interrupted him.

"Descended from wolves?" I asked completing his sentence, still confused. As I continued to look at his face, I could tell I hit the nail on the head.

"Wait, wait, _wait_!" I said as I immediately stood up and took a step back. I couldn't help but bring my hands to my head as I tried to wrap my head around this all. Jacob stood up and attempted to walk towards me and I put both hands out to stop him as I took a few more steps backwards. "Whoa! Just give me a minute, alright?" Jacob stopped and just kept a watchful eye on me as I wondered around the room. _Could it be true? Could all of this be happening? Was the man I loved a vampire __and one of my oldest __best friends a wolf?_

After giving me a few minutes to process it all Jacob slowly started to walk towards me as he talked, "Do you remember back when I was sick with 'Mono' in high school?"

I looked over at him and nodded.

"That's when it happened," he said as he stopped walking as he remembered back. "I was wondering what was happening to Sam and the rest of the guys and then one day it just happened."

"What happened?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the whole answer.

"The change," he said. "It started with a fever when we were at the movies with that douche Mike and then I was _sick_ for a couple of weeks. That's why I couldn't return any of your calls, couldn't visit you, and you couldn't come to visit me. It wasn't safe."

"You're a wolf?" I asked as if I had no idea mythological creatures existed, but I knew better.

"Guilty as charged," he said with a smile, until he saw how uncomfortable I was, and then he stopped and dropped his head again.

"I just...just..." I still couldn't wrap my mind around it.

I could tell from his look that Jacob was getting frustrated, "So you're comfortable with a leech who left you for dead, but not your best friend who you just found out is a wolf? Am I just the wrong kind of monster for you Bella?"

"Jake," I said, "you have to give me a little bit of time to process this."

"Fine," he said, and then turned around and plopped down on the sofa, propping his feet up on the coffee table. "And its werewolf to be exact."

I stood there for a moment and looked over at my friend, one of my best friends in this world who has helped me more than I ever could repay him for who kept it a secret from me that he was a werewolf for years. I felt a little hurt by that, but then it hit me. Werewolves had natural enemies..._vampires._ As the realization hit me I knew why Jacob had such distaste for Alice earlier and I could only imagine how Edward was going to take the news.

"Shit!" I said as I started to feel lightheaded and found my balance with both hands on a nearby table. Before I knew it, Jacob had his arms around me for support, walking me over to the sofa.

"Here," he said, "lay down here Bella." He helped me lie down and then put a pillow under my head and covered me with a blanket. "I'm sorry," he said. "This isn't how I meant for this to come out."

"I just don't understand," I told him as he adjusted the blanket around me. "How could you keep something like this from me?"

He sighed and then looked at me with sadness in his eyes, "I couldn't. I'm bound by Sam as the Alpha that I couldn't tell anybody."

I understood then. I was bound to not tell anybody about Edward or the rest of the Cullen family, so I couldn't be angry with him. It was then that I started to cry. My whole world seemed to be changing around me in such a short amount of time and I just didn't know how to deal with it anymore.

"Shhhhh... shhhh..., Jacob said trying to calm me as he ran his palms down the sides of my face. "It's all right... I promise. I'm still the same old Jake."

"I'm sorry Jake," I said as the tears still fell down my face. "It's all just so much in such a short amount of time, and I'm exhausted... mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted."

"I'm sorry Bella," Jake said as he startled me by picking me up. "You need your rest; you need to go to bed." I was so exhausted that I couldn't protest him taking me to my bedroom. Before I knew it I was in my bed and he was again pulling the blankets up over me. "There," he said, "you need to get some sleep. I'll go sleep out on the sofa and you get some shut-eye in here. Do you need to call _her_ to let her know that you're alright?"

"I probably should," I said with a yawn. Jacob went and grabbed the cell phone for me and I quickly texted Alice.

_Alice- I'm fine, going to sleep. Jake's sleeping on the sofa. If you want to come back, come through my window. Thanks – Bella_

I closed the phone and put it on the table next to my bed as Jacob stood next to me. "You sure you're alright Bells?"

I nodded and adjusted my head back on my pillow, "Yeah. I think I just need some time to let it all settle, you know?"

Jacob nodded and then reassured me, "Bella, I'm still the same Jacob I've always been, remember that."

"Thanks Jake," I said. "You know where everything is if you need it. Good night."

"Night Bells," he said as he closed the door behind him and I turned my light off to go to sleep.

The next day I woke up to the sun shining brightly through my open window. I looked over at my alarm clock and it said it was 2:00 in the afternoon. All of this change in my sleep cycle must have really taken a toll on me; I couldn't believe I slept that late. After giving myself a moment to wake up I reached for my cell phone and checked to see if there were any messages, and of course there was a text.

_Bella- I'll come back when the dog's out. I'll keep watch outside just to be safe. - Alice_

I closed my eyes and part of me had hoped it was all a dream, but after reading that text I realized it wasn't. I pulled myself out of bed and shuffled my way out to the living room where I saw Jake fully dressed and lounging around as he flipped through the TV.

"You're alive!" he said when he noticed me and then made his way to the kitchen. "I hope you don't mind but I actually came in a few times to check on you to make sure."

"Very funny," I said as he grabbed a mug off of the counter and poured me a cup of coffee before handing it to me. "Thanks."

"You really need to watch keeping such late hours, Bella," he said in a warning tone. "It's not good for you. And Merry Christmas, Bells."

"Zip it Jake," I said just before I took my first sip of coffee. As I did it made me instantly feel a bit better. I wrapped my hands around the mug to gain some of its warmth since it seems the temperature had dropped a few degrees as I said, "And Merry Christmas to you, too."

"So what are we up to today?" he asked when he found his way back to the sofa.

At that moment I heard my cell phone beep signaling that I had just received a message.

_Bella- I'll need you starting around 5:00 to get you ready for tonight. -Alice_

After I read the message I closed the phone and put it back on the counter.

"Who was that?" Jacob asked. "Was it _him?_"

"No," I said. "It was Alice."

"What did _she_ want?" he scathed.

"She is coming over at 5:00 to get me ready for tonight," I replied.

"What's tonight?" Jacob asked as he stood up and walked over to me.

"I have a date with Edward," I said, unable to make eye contact with him.

"You what?" Jacob asked as he started breathing heavier and I could see the vein in his neck getting bigger.

"What Jake?" I asked, upset. "You don't want me to see him? I'm sorry. I love him."

"But he left you, told you he didn't love you and left you for dead," Jacob said, trying to convince me to not go out. "Bella, you can't go out with him. I came down to spend time with you, stay here with me."

"I can't Jake," I said as I put my coffee down. "You have to understand, I fell in love with him when we were together, and I think I fell deeper in love with him when we were apart."

"He's not even _alive_ Bella, can you understand that?" he yelled. "What can he give you that I can't? You know that I would do anything for you Bella; I have always let you know that. I'm better for you than he is. Love changes. People change. Circumstances change."

Looking at Jacob it was looking as if he was pleading with me and it was breaking a part of me. Yes I always knew that Jacob loved me and a part of me loves him too, but not in the same way.

"Jake. I'm sorry," I said simply. With those words he slammed his hand down on my kitchen counter and broke the corner off. "Go," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"Just go. Take your things and get out of here if you're going to act like that," I said.

"You don't mean that," he said looking at me with his arms crossed over his chest with a smirk on his face. "When the going gets tough who do you call? You call Jake!"

"Go!" I said pointing to the door. "You don't have to totally leave but I need some time to myself. Take your phone and I'll call you when you can come back."

"You're serious?" he said.

I just glared at him and pointed to the door and he knew I was deadly serious. With that look he raised his hands in surrender as he backed up to get his jacket and slipped his phone in his pocket.

"Fine," he said. "Call me when you're ready. I'm not leaving town." He walked the few steps to the door and slammed it shut. I made my way over and locked it, then turned around, slid my body down the door until I was sitting on the floor and closed my eyes trying to figure it all out.

After Jacob left I found my way to the living room and flipped through the journal of poems I had written after Edward left. Most of them sounded as if my heart had been ripped from my chest and then they started to get better, when I started spending more time with Jacob down at the reservation. If it wasn't for Jacob I don't know what I would have done. Then I found something in the fridge to eat because I was starving. I finished up my quiet time with a glass of wine while I soaked in the tub.

At exactly 5:00, there was a knock on my door from Alice. She entered with bags of items that I didn't even want to know what they were.

"He'll be here around 8:00," Alice said as she started blowing my hair dry. "So we have plenty of time."

We chatted a bit of girl talk while she helped me get ready but around 7:00 I texted Jacob to meet me back at the apartment around 7:45. She was obviously staying away from the topic of Jacob and Edward so we talked more about what was going on in the world and my work.

When 7:45 came I heard a knock at the door and went to answer it knowing exactly who it was. I hadn't had a chance to look at myself in a mirror yet but I went and opened the door which sent Alice into my bedroom.

Jacob just stood and stared at me for a moment then said, "Wow. Bells... you're looking good."

"Thanks Jake, come on in," I said as I tried to walk steadily in my heels.

"So why did you call me?" he asked as he closed the door behind him.

"I just wanted things to be good between us," I said. "I'm sorry this all isn't turning out how you hoped it would, but it's not exactly how I hoped my life would turn out either."

"And how did you want it to turn out?" he asked as he cocked his head to the side.

"When I was a junior in high school I expected I would have been married to Edward by now, and one of _the__m_," I said. "But when he left that all changed and I figured I would never have a chance at love again."

"Wait, back up a minute," he said. "You wanted to be one of _them_? Bella, what were you thinking?"

"I loved him Jacob, I _love_ him," I said.

"Wait," Jacob said, "are you still looking to be one of _them_?"

I sighed and looked down at the floor, "I don't know Jake. Back then I would have given anything for him to change me. I wanted to be changed on Prom night, but he refused. Now, I just don't know."

I could see the anger raging in Jacob when I looked up at him. He was continuing to try to control his breathing with his hands clenched at his sides. Unfortunately I didn't see him calming down at all. Jacob grabbed my wrists and pulled me towards him yelling, "No! I won't let you Bella! I won't let you become like _them_"

It must have been 8:00 because at that moment I heard my door being shoved open and before I knew it Edward had his hands on Jacob and pulled him away from me, being careful of my wrists. As I caught my breath and saw what was happening in front of me, Alice made her way out of my bedroom and stood with her arms around me for comfort as the two men closest to me were about to tear each other apart.

"STOP!" I yelled as I shrugged Alice off of me and made my way over to where Edward and Jacob were starting to fight. "Stop, stop, stop!"

They both stopped and looked at me, then glared at each other.

"Bella," Edward said, "get away. Now."

"Why?" I asked.

"He's dangerous. Werewolves can't be trusted, especially when they're angry," he said.

"And _leeches_ can be trusted?" Jake replied.

"More than you, you mutt," Edward said as they started to get wrapped up in each other again.

"STOP!" I yelled again. "The two of you stop!"

When I said that they stopped and looked at me again. Edward's eyes moved to my wrists where I was starting to slightly bruise from where Jacob had grabbed me.

"Bella," Edward said as he moved to my side, grabbing my wrists and kissing them. "He hurt you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said. "Except for the fact that you two are about ready to kill each other."

"He shouldn't be here," Jacob said, looking at me.

"Well neither should you," Edward said looking at Jacob and then he looked back at me. "You have no idea how worried I've been. I know Alice was here for you, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to you."

"I'm fine Edward," I said again. "Do you think that you two can _not_ kill each other for five minutes?"

Edward and Jacob looked at each other.

"For me?" I asked. With that they both nodded. I motioned for them to sit down on either end of the sofa.

**EPOV**

I sat on the opposite end of the sofa as Jacob and stared at my Bella actually taking the sight of her in for the first time. She looked stunning in the blue dress Alice had given her and she had obviously grown into wearing heels. Her hair was down and framed around her natural face with beautiful curls.

"Can you keep your thoughts to yourself?" I asked Jacob.

"You can read minds huh?" Jake said with a smile. "This should be fun."

"That's it," Bella said with her hands on her hips. She looked as if she was reprimanding the students in her class. "The two of you just get out."

"What?" Jake asked as he stood up.

"Out, you heard me. If you two can't play nice, then both of you can get out," Bella said.

"Bella," I said, "what..."

"Edward," she said as she walked directly to me. "Just go and wait in the hall please."

I couldn't refuse Bella so I quietly nodded and made my way out into the hall with Jacob. We stood there and looked at Bella who was standing in the doorway at us.

"I need a few minutes. Do you think that you two can stay here and not kill each other?" she asked.

"I'll do my best," Jacob said looking over at me. "But it won't be easy."

"I'll be fine," I said when she looked at me.

"Fine," she said. "I'll call you when I'm ready." With those words she closed the door. A few moments later, Alice walked out the door and sat beside me.

"She wanted space," Alice said. "And she didn't want me leading you onto anything."

I nodded fully understanding her. Bella needed her space and it was true that if Alice saw or heard something I would find out.

"She was doing fine before you got here," I heard Jacob say from my side.

"I see that," I said as I continued to face Bella's apartment door.

"She has a job, friends, everything she needed. Why did you have to come back?" Jacob asked.

"Believe it or not," I said, "it wasn't my choice. It kind of just happened."

"You should have found a way to make it not happen," Jacob said.

"I'm sorry Jacob," I said as I looked over at him. "I know that you helped her through rough times, mostly ones that I caused. For that I must say thank you."

"Whatever," Jacob said.

"I did it in her best interest you know," I said. "I thought it was best for her if I left."

"It was," Jacob said. "You should have just stayed gone."

"Well I'm not gone anymore and I won't leave again unless she tells me to leave," I said as politely as I could.

"_She's made a decisio__n,"_ Alice thought, and I nodded. Moments later Bella's door opened and she looked at the three of us sitting there on the floor.

"Jacob?" she asked. "Can you come in please?"

**Thanks for your reviews!**


	27. Chapter 27: What A Wonderful World

**As always, thank you to Chellie09!**

**Chapter 27**

**What a Wonderful World**

Jacob looked over at me, smirked, thought in his head _sucks to be you_, and had a vision of him and Bella hugging and kissing. But I didn't give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

I watched as Jacob stood up and looked at me one more time with that smug look before he walked over to Bella. I looked at her and she didn't give me any hint as to what was in her mind. This was another one of those times I wish I could read her mind like I could everybody else's. Before I knew it Bella had Jacob in her apartment and closed the door behind her.

I sat there with my eyes closed and head against the wall behind me. Alice put her hand on my shoulder, "You know she's going to pick you right?"

"Alice," I said, "I would be lying if I didn't say I'm hoping she does, but would I blame her if she didn't?"

"Edward," Alice said, "just listen." I hated to listen in on Bella's conversation with Jacob because I know how much she valued her privacy, but it was essentially impossible.

"_Jaco__b," __Bella said, "__have__ a seat."_

"_So, we're alon__e," __Jacob said. __I could see through his mind __as he sat on the sofa and grabbed her hand to pull her down beside him._

"_Jake, behav__e," __she told him._

"_So what's up Bells?" he asked._

"_Jacob, I know that you're worried about m__e __and thank you for tha__t," __she sai__d. __"But there's no need to worry about me."_

"_There's no need to worry about you?" he __repeated, __visibly upset. "I shouldn't worry that you may want to have the life sucked out of you by some leech?"_

I brought my hands to my forehead and gently rubbed as if it would relieve what I was feeling while hearing that.

"_Jacob," she said, "__it's__ not like that."_

"_It's not?" he asked standing u__p. __"You said you love him right?"_

_Bella sat there and shook her head._

"_You said it yourself that you wanted him to make you one of the__m," __he sai__d. __"What am I not understanding?"_

"_Jacob," Bella said, "I LOVE him and he loves me. I don't know what else there is to say."_

_Jacob pointed to the door as he started breathing heavy, "He. Can't. Love," he said. "He's not even alive Bella. He has no heart, so how can he love you?"_

As I saw what was going on I began to worry even more. He looked like he was beginning to lose control and Bella had no idea what that meant. I quickly stood to my feet and made my way to the door so I could be in there in an instant if anything should get out of hand.

"_Jak__e," __Bella sai__d. __"It's deeper than you could ever imagine."_

_Jacob was again breathing heavy with his hands clenched at his sides. He grabbed Bella by the wrists again and pulled her towards him saying, "But he hasn't loved you as long as I have." He brought one of her hands to his chest, placing it over his heart, "This has always belonged to you Bella. I know you don't want to hear it, but it's true." Jacob then pulled her even closer to him and placed his lips upon hers._

I pushed the door to the apartment open and ran in with Alice standing by the door. I carefully grabbed Bella and pulled her out of his arms placing her safely on the sofa behind me. Then, I turned to Jacob, placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed him to the other side of the room, accidentally breaking a picture frame on the wall across the room. Before I knew it Jacob was back over by me and had his hands around my neck, as if he could do some damage to me.

"STOP!" we heard Bella yell.

"Bella," I said, "you don't know how dangerous werewolves can be. Especially when they get angry. I need to protect you."

"STOP!" she yelled again.

We both instinctively stopped and turned to Bella.

"Jacob," she said, "this is going to hurt me as much as it's going to hurt you, but if you can't support my relationship with Edward, then leave. Leave now."

"But Bella...," he protested.

"No Jacob, that's it," she said as she looked at me, walked over and grabbed my hand. "Edward is my life. I know it's not an easy relationship and it's going to be really hard. We're going to have to work at it every day but I want to do it because I love him."

"After he left you and put you through all that pain?" Jacob asked.

"After he left me and put me through all that pain," she repeated in agreement as she squeezed my hand. "I wouldn't be who I am today without it, Jacob."

Jacob looked at us for a minute and showed me through his thoughts how devastated Bella was when I had left her.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," I said. "No words will ever be able to say how sorry I am. But thank you."

"For what?" he asked angry.

"For taking care of her when I couldn't," I said, and truly meant it.

"You're sure?" Jacob asked her and Bella just nodded before he said. "Fine."

"You're more than welcome to stay Jake," she said. "I know it's a long trip back."

"I'd rather be dead," Jacob said and walked towards the door after he gathered his things. When he got to the doorway Alice moved and he turned around to Bella and said, "Don't come crying back to me when he hurts you again Bella."

With those words he walked out the door and Bella started to cry. I crushed her to my chest as her tears soaked into my dress shirt. I ran my fingers through her hair being careful not to mess it up too much saying, "I love you Bella, I'm sorry it had to go like this."

After about five minutes of crying she looked up and stepped back from me as she wiped her eyes. Even with her red puffy eyes she looked absolutely stunning.

"I'm sorry," she said as she placed her hand on the spot where her tears fell on my shirt.

"It's alright," I said. "Are you alright? Do you want to cancel this evening?"

"No," she said, "I don't want to cancel. I think I need to get my mind off of things."

I grabbed Bella's hand in mine and brought it to my lips, "Merry Christmas, my Isabella."

"Merry Christmas, Edward," she said. "Let me just get my coat and we can be on our way."

I watched her slowly walk to her closet and grab her coat. I made my way over quickly and helped her put it on and then she grabbed my hand as we made our way towards the door where Alice still stood.

"I'll keep everything safe here," she said. "Jazz will be back soon."

"Thanks Alice," I said giving her a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks Alice," Bella said as she wrapped her arms around her in a hug. "I'm sorry I messed up everything you did," she said motioning to her make-up.

"You didn't mess anything up," I said pulling her from Alice. "Come on, let's go."

It was late and I grabbed Bella's arm as we walked down the stairs of her apartment building. Finding the rental car, I helped her into her side and then raced to my side so I could get the heater going to get her warm.

Before I was able to put the car in reverse Bella turned to me and put her hand on mine saying, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked as I pushed some hair behind her ear.

"For all of that," she said starting to cry again. "Jake means well, he really does."

"You have to realize Bella," I said, "werewolves have trouble controlling themselves when they're angry. Jacob isn't safe to be around."

Bella shook her head, "I don't believe that, but I do believe that it will take him a long time to accept you and me."

I didn't have the heart to tell her that he probably never would. Instead I repeated something she said earlier, "You are my life. I know it's not an easy relationship and it's going to be really hard. We're going to have to work at it every day but I want to do it because I love you. I want you. I want all of you for however long you will have me."

She didn't say much after that so put the car in reverse and made my way through the town to where we were going to have our evening together.

"I'm not sure what I want," she said quietly as she squeezed my hand but looked towards the floor.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Before all I wanted was for you to change me," she said. "But now I'm not sure."

I knew she was having those feelings, "I've always wanted you to have a long, fulfilling human life Bella, you know that."

"I know," she said. "But if I love you, shouldn't I want it to be forever?"

At this point we were in the parking lot of the hotel we were expected at. I put the car in park, turned it off and turned to Bella, "I'll take you for however long you will let me have you Isabella. I love you now. I'll love you when you're forty, I'll love you when you have gray hair in your 80's."

"I don't see how that's possible," she said quietly.

"You don't understand how deep my love for you goes," I said quietly as I grabbed her hands and brought her wrists up to my nose and sniffed. "It's more than just this Bella." I then brought her hand to where my heart should be beating, "I love you with everything that I have here, whether it beats or not."

Bella's closed eyes and had a few stray tears falling from them which made my heart break even more. Her eyes then opened and she brought her hands to either side of my face and pulled herself towards me as she gently placed a kiss on my lips. The warmth of her soft lips felt amazing but all too soon she pulled away and all I could see was a smile on her face as she said, "Come on, let's go."

I made my way around to her side of the car, helped her out, and then lead her to the hotel. I easily checked us in and we found our way upstairs to the room Alice had reserved for us. When we walked in there was classic Christmas music playing on the radio. I grabbed Bella's coat and placed it on a hanger in the closet near the entry way, then grabbed Bella's hand and took her into the living room where there were candles lit all around.

"Have I told you yet how absolutely stunning you look?" I asked her.

She smiled and the blush that I love rose to her cheeks and she took both of my hands into hers and said, "I know I haven't told you how amazing you look. You look amazing Edward." She ran her hands up and down my arms that were exposed from my blue dress shirt that were rolled up. The warmth of her skin felt amazing and I realized how much I missed it.

The next thing I knew one of my favorite songs from 1968 started playing. By that time I had been a vampire for 50 years and never thought I would feel the way I did at this moment. To her surprise, I grabbed my Bella in my arms, pulled her feet on mine so she had nothing to protest against, and moved us slowly to the music.

_I see trees of green, red roses too  
I see them bloom, for me and you  
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world._

I pulled Bella closer to me and held her firm against me where I would love her to always be, realizing how stupid I was to let her go in the first place and how damn lucky I was what she took me back so easily.__

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white  
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night  
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

Bella placed her head on my chest and tightened her hold on me. I lowered my head and placed a kiss upon the top of her head. Then I turned my face and rested my cheek there with my eyes closed. I inhaled her familiar scent of strawberry. Even when I was a world away, if I closed my eyes and thought about it enough I could smell it. __

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky  
Are also on the faces, of people going by  
I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do  
_They're really saying, I love you._

As we moved around the room holding each other tight, I lowered my head and whispered right by her ear with the lyrics, "I love you."__

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow  
They'll learn much more, than I'll never know  
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

My lips found her ear and I kissed it gently, then my lips found their way down her neck to her collar bone as she tilted her head to the side for easier access.__

Yes I think to myself, what a wonderful world.  
Oh yeah...

"You are, and always will be what makes my world wonderful," I whispered to her. When the music finally stopped she looked up at me with tears in her eyes again and pulled me in for another kiss which was interrupted by a knock at the door.

**So, who do you think it is? Let me know what you think, thanks!**


	28. Chapter 28: If I Had You

**Thanks to Chellie09 for helping me with the pain that this was : )**

**Chapter 28**

**If I Had You**

**BPOV**

That moment with Edward was one that I had dreamed of for years. It was one of those moments that made me realize exactly how much I missed him while we were apart. Just as we seemed to be getting intimate as the song from the stereo ended there was a knock on the door. I held onto Edward not wanting to let him go as he went to answer it.

"I have to get that," he whispered in my ear. I could feel his lips pulling to a smile on his face.

"I don't care who it is," I said as I wrapped my arms around him tighter with my face pressed against his chest and my stomach growled, "They'll get the hint when we don't answer the door."

The knocking came from the door again and he carefully unwrapped my arms from around him and gently pulled me from the top of his feet, carefully placing me on the ground.

"I think that you are going to like this," he said. "And even if you don't like it my human, you need it."

Edward gently kissed my cheek before he walked off towards the door. As he did he also pulled out some bills from his pocket then pulled the door open. As he did so a cart was wheeled in with several platters covered in silver domes and Edward told them to take it into the dining area. As I smelled the lovely aromas coming from whatever was under those domes my stomach growled again. Edward looked at me and raised his eyebrow and now I knew what he meant about being human and needing it.

"Thank you for your service," Edward said as he slipped a few bills into the man's hand. The man smiled and replied by telling him it was no problem and if he needed anything else to call and ask for him. Edward agreed with a nod and then closed and locked the door when we were alone again.

"Who else is coming?" I asked with a chuckle as I walked curiously towards the dining area.

"What do you mean?" he replied with a questioning look on his face as he closed the gap between us.

"All this food," I said as I gestured to the table. "It looks as if you're expecting a lot of company."

"I certainly hope not," he said as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and sat his head on my right shoulder before slightly turning in so that hecould place a few kisses on my neck. I closed my eyes in response to the attention so I could enjoy every single minute of it.

"I certainly hope not too," I said as I felt his lips leave my skin as my stomach growled yet again.

"Time to feed the human," he said with a small smile on his face as he grabbed my hand and walked me over to one of the chairs around the small yet elegant table. Always being the gentleman, he pulled the chair out for me and then helped to push me closer to the table after I was comfortably seated.

"So what do we have here?" I asked as my stomach continued to growl. "It all smells so good."

To be honest it all smelled incredible. On my teaching salary I couldn't afford to eat like this very often at all. The only times I would usually eat anything like this would be if I went out on the extremely rare date or if someone sent me a gift card to a restaurant for a holiday. Charlie did that every so often because he knows how I detest gifts but I know that he has always been concerned about me living on my own. He knows what it is like to live on his salary and mine is a lot less than his at the moment.

"I think that Alice ordered you a bit of everything," Edward said as he started taking the domes off of the platters. He wasn't kidding! There was a chicken Caesar salad, Chicken Marsala, Veal Piccata, Lobster, and Filet Mignon along with the sides to accompany each of them. "We weren't sure if your taste in food had changed since before so we figured we would cover all bases," he said. "I hope there is something to your liking." Edward's face was one that showed me he was concerned that there was nothing there to my liking or he had done something wrong.

"Wow," I said. There was seriously enough food there to probably last me two weeks and I had no idea where to start, but I was seriously starving now.

"I know I should have the salad," I said, "but I think I'm going to have the chicken." Edward smiled as he brought the plate over to where I was sitting and placed it in front of me being careful to keep the warm plate a safe distance from me so I wasn't burned. After the plate was in front of me, I looked up at him and he sat down in a chair next to me.

"Go ahead," he motioned towards the plate with his head and a smile on his face.

I smiled back at him feeling a bit bad about digging in but it smelled so good. I picked up my fork and ate away at the chicken, roasted potatoes and vegetables on the plate in front of me. As I did so I looked up and noticed Edward staring at me. As self conscious as ever I stopped, put my fork down and blushed.

"What?" he asked as he brought his hand to the side of my face with a bit of worry on his face. "What's wrong? Is it not satisfying to you?""No," I chuckled, "It's delicious. I just feel self conscious with you watching me."

"I'm sorry," he said starting to stand up. "Would you prefer if I went and sat in the other room?"

"NO!" I said probably too loud. "No. It's just something I have to get used to again I guess."

I could see a bit of a frown start to form on Edward's face which made me feel bad.

"Did Alice order anything to drink?" I asked not imagining that something like that would escape her mind.

"Of course," Edward said as he stood up and moved towards the cart. He wrapped his hand around a bottle of what looked like a red wine and brought it over towards me. He held the bottle in front of me to examine.

"Anything is fine," I said with a smile. Edward looked at the bottle and smiled, he must have been happy with his sister's choice and I'm sure it was better than anything I would buy myself. Carefully he opened the bottle and poured me a glass as I continued to eat and as I glanced up at Edward he seemed to be a bit more pleased with himself than he was a few moments ago. As I finished up eating I wiped my mouth with my napkin and placed it on the table next to me. I hadn't been this full in ages, especially with something that tasted so lovely. A small part of me wondered what everything else tasted like and wished I had room to try it all.

"Are you full?" Edward asked me as he grabbed my hand.

"I am," I said. "I haven't eaten like that in ages."

"And was it all to your liking?" he asked wanting to honestly know.

"It was," I said taking another sip of wine from my glass. "Thank you. Thank you so much for remembering your human and taking such good care of her."

"Dessert?" he asked as he gestured to the cart that seemed to have everything from simple cake to what looked like more sophisticated desserts.

I held my hands up in a symbol of surrender which seemed to make him laugh before I said, "I can't, or I might explode…at least now.""Then shall we take this to the next room?" he asked with an extended hand. I nodded and he stepped behind me, pulled out my chair and then grabbed my hand to help me out of the chair. He wrapped my arm around his on our way back into the living area. When we got there I could hear the classical Christmas music playing in the background as we sat on the sofa.

Once I was sitting on the sofa Edward quickly ran into the other room and brought in the bottle of wine he had opened for me and topped off my glass before sitting next to me.

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

"Anything," he replied.

I couldn't help but smile. It had been years that I had imagined what it would be like for Edward and I to be together. I placed my glass on the cherry stained coffee table in front of us and curled my legs up under me after kicking my shoes off onto the floor, and then leaned into Edward. I couldn't help but shudder from a sudden onset of chills as I curled up next to his cold body, but in a way I had never felt so warm before. Knowing that I was cold Edward grabbed a throw that was on the back of the sofa and wrapped it around me.

"No," I said.

"Yes Bella," he said, "I don't want you to get sick."

"I meant no, not just around me. It can be wrapped around us both," I said. "I don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me Bella," he said kissing the top of my head. "As long as you want me, I promise I'll be yours."

His words stung a little. I had believed that when we were back and high school and he said them to me, but then everything changed. How was I to believe him again? Especially when things are as they are now?

He must have heard my heartbeat change a bit as those thoughts moved through my head.

"I know how things seem right now Bella," he said. "I'm not quite sure how to proceed either to be quite honest."With those words of absolute honesty I pulled myself up from him and looked at him in his eyes. "I don't know either Edward, and to be quite honest that scares me."

The all too familiar look of pain and regret was in Edward's eyes.

"But I know if we want it to, it will work out," I said and then asked "Do you think we could trust Sam with your secret?"

"No," Edward said as he shook his head, "I hate the thought of dragging another human into this secret, and the Volturi wouldn't allow it anyway."

I nodded in agreement. Years ago he had told me about the Volturi and their rules and laws, and those were things I would never forget. We sat there in silence for a few moments as we just stared into each others eyes as if we expected to find the answer there.

Breaking us out of our trance I put my hands up on either side of Edward's face and brought him down to me and placed my forehead against his as I confessed, "I missed you so much."

I felt the tear on my cheek and within a fraction of a second his lips were at that precise spot with a kiss.

"I know," he said as his cheek was now against mine as I felt him inhale next to my ear. "And I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am."

The tears were falling more freely now, probably due to exhaustion that had come over me more frequently these days and the way my life has changed so much in just a single day.

"Please don't," I said closing my eyes and shaking my head. "I can't hear that anymore." I brought my hands up to the back of his head and played with his hair a bit as I continued, "I just feel like I'm all over the place right now. I don't know what to think, I don't know what to do."

Edward pulled his face from mine and was now looking at me with that worried look on his face not more than an inch from my face."You have to understand," I said, "I thought I had my life finally on a track you know? Then you come back... with Samantha... and now Jacob and the wolf thing." I couldn't help but shake my head.

"It's not just a wolf thing," Edward said quietly. "It's more than just a wolf thing."

"Then why don't you fill me in?" I asked probably a bit more annoyed than I should. "I mean, all of this was thrown on me today; I don't even know what's going on in my own life anymore."

The tears started back again and I brought my hands to my face, not wanting Edward to see me like that. He brought his hands to mine and even though he could have easily ripped them from my face, he granted me the privacy I was requesting. I could tell that he had stopped breathing and was just sitting right next to me waiting.

Once I had settled myself down, I removed my hands from over my eyes and took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry for that," I said. "It's just been a lot for me to take."

"I understand Bella," he said quietly as he ran the back of his hand down the side of my face. "What do you want to know exactly?"

"The whole wolf thing," I said. "My best friend is a werewolf, who ever thinks they are going to mutter those words?"

"Vampires and werewolves Bella," he said, "that's the world you live in." He sighed and looked down at the ground as if thinking of what he wanted to say before he spoke, then looked up at me straight in my eyes, "From what we know, Jacob must be a fairly young wolf. When was it that Jacob went through the change?"

I looked at him not understanding what he was asking.

"He told you it was when he was supposedly sick with mono," Edward said. "When did that happen?"

I looked down and messed with the hem of my dress, "Shortly after you left."Edward sighed and then continued, "You are lucky Bella," he said. "Young werewolves are very unstable. You're actually very lucky you were never hurt."

"Jake would never hurt me," I said, shaking my head.

"Not on purpose, I'm sure he wouldn't," Edward said. "But when they get angry, they get very unpredictable."

"Jake would never hurt me," I reiterated again. "On purpose or otherwise."

Edward closed his eyes as if he was concentrating incredibly on something.

"You can't see him anymore Bella," he said. "It's too risky."

"You're over reacting Edward," I said looking at him. "Like you always do."

"You don't understand Bella," he said closing his eyes again to calm himself. "It's too dangerous. I just got you back, I can't run the risk of anything happening to you."

"Well I survived for how many years without you?" I asked with anger pumping through my veins. "I think I know how to take care of myself."

EPOV

I knew that there was no way that I was going to win this argument, at least not now.

"Fine," I said as I wrapped her in my arms, "I don't want to wedge anything else between us."

"But what do you mean?" she asked me as she allowed me to hold her again.

"About what?" I asked.

"That wolves... Jacob is dangerous?" she asked in a quiet voice. I'm not sure if she really wanted me to answer her or not."They have trouble controlling their emotions," I told her. "If they get angry in their human form, they can shift into their wolf form without you realizing it and hurt you by accident."

Bella seemed to think about that.

"That must have been what happened to Emily," she whispered quietly to herself.

"Hmmmm?" I asked.

"That must have been what happened to Emily," she said louder as I sat with her, running my hands up an down the side of her body, nuzzling her neck enjoying the smell I had missed. I could only imagine what strawberries would smell like as a human, and how delectable they would taste.

"What must have been what happened to Emily?" I asked.

I positioned myself so that she knew I was paying close attention to her as she continued, "Emily is Sam's girlfriend, well, fiancé technically," she said nervously, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

"Who is Sam?" I asked.

"One of Jake's friends," she said. "But knowing what I know now, he must be a wolf too."

I nodded, following Bella so far but edged her to continue, "So what happened with Emily?"

"She has these scars," Bella said quietly as she ran her hand down her right cheek. I brought my hand up to meet hers on that soft part of her face and she looked at me, "They look like claw marks on her cheek."

I closed my eyes. It did indeed sound like this Emily had had a run-in with one of the mutts.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I whispered to her. "But in a way I'm glad you did."

"Excuse me?" she said quietly. "You're happy that a woman had to endure that so I could see it?""You know that's not what I meant," I said. "I'm sorry anyone would have to deal with one of those mongrels. But it's an example of how you could get hurt around them."

"They're not mongrels," she said coldly. "They're my friends."

I nodded trying to show her I understood, but I would do anything in my power to make sure they weren't anymore. When I looked at her I saw the sadness in her eyes. When I had been selfish, they were her friends and I had to live with that no matter what happened.

"So," I said standing up extending my hand to her, "may I have another dance?" Bella bit at her lower lip before extending her hand to me and then I walked her over as I pressed a button on the iPod deck which was playing the music for us all evening. Before I knew it the familiar tune was playing around the room.

I could tell that she was a bit surprised by the old music playing from the modern device from the questioning look on her face, but soon enough she curled against my chest with one warm arm around my body and the other in my hand.

_I never envied the rich millionaires,_

_I never wanted to have what was theirs;_

_I never bother about their affairs, as the others do._

I took the hand that I held on the small of her back and gently caressed that soft part of her warm body as I moved her around the room.

_All that I want is a chance to be glad;_

_I've grown so tired of being so sad;_

_There's only one thing I wish that I had, that's you, just you. _

"Where did you find this song?" she asked as she looked up at me.

"It's one of those human memories of mine that seemed to appear since you arrived in my life," I said placing a kiss on the top of her head before using the hand from her back to place her head again softly against my chest selfish of the connection we lost. I could tell she wanted to continue the conversation but decided to listen to the music instead.

_If I had you, to just be around when I'm blue;_

_A "Four by Two" would be like a mansion on Fifth Avenue._

_I wouldn't change places with Carnegie! And that goes for Rock'feller too!_

_They could keep all their troubles and "Automobubbles" If I had you._

"You'd let them keep your Volvo?" she chuckled softly.

"Absolutely," I whispered back. "I'd even drive an old red 1963 Chevy pick-up." I couldn't help but smile when she chuckled against my chest at that comment.

"And a four by two?" she asked. "I couldn't imagine a Cullen living like that."

"I would if it's what you wanted," I replied honestly.

_I never envied those rich millionaires,_

_Who sit around in their silk-covered chairs;_

_Any old sofa with someone who cares it would more than do._

_Just you and me and I'd want nothing more;_

"So you remembered this from your human memories huh?" she asked me, and I nodded.

"I do," I said. "I remember my mother and father dancing around our living room to this song." I thought for a moment, "It came out in 1914 when I was 13 years old, and I remember them so vividly when I hear this song."

_Maybe a baby to play on the floor;_

_I'd have a whole lot to be thankful for if I had you. _

The mention of a baby always hurt me a bit. I had come to the realization that that would never be a part of my life, but I wondered if Bella had changed her mind since she was a teenager, and that was yet another thing I couldn't provide for her.

_If I had you, to just be around when I'm blue;_

_A "Four by Two" would be like a mansion on Fifth Avenue._

_I wouldn't change places with Carnegie! And that goes for Rock'feller too!_

_They could keep all their troubles and "Automobubbles" If I had you._

"I want to share everything I can with you Bella," I whispered as my face moved down to place a kiss on her neck behind her ear.

When my eyes found hers she had a bit of a look of fear on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked wondering what I said or did wrong as I heard her heartbeat quicken.

It was then that the tears started again, "I'm not sure I can share everything with you Edward." She brought her hands to her face and then I heard the material of her dress as she ran into the bathroom. I was at a loss and had no idea what to do.

As I heard the bathroom door lock I also heard my cell phone ring. When I picked it up I looked at the caller ID and answered, "Alice? What's going on?"

**Thanks as always, and don't forget that little comment button to share your human thoughts :-)**


	29. Chapter 29: Piano Man

As always, thanks to Chellie09!

**Chapter 29**

**Piano Man**

**EPOV**

"What's wrong?" I asked wondering what I said or did wrong as I heard her heartbeat quicken.

It was then that the tears started again, "I'm not sure I can share everything with you Edward." She brought her hands to her face and then I heard the material of her dress as she ran into the bathroom. I was at a loss and had no idea what to do.

As I heard the bathroom door lock I also heard my cell phone ring. When I picked it up I looked at the caller ID and answered, "Alice? What's going on?"

"What happened, Edward?" Alice asked.

"I don't know," I said squeezing the hand not holding my phone into a fist, feeling the need to hit something to try to relieve some of the frustration, "I figured you were calling me to let me know."

"Why, what did you do?" she asked.

"I must have said something, I don't know what," I told her as I walked closer to the bathroom hearing the quiet sobs from behind the door, honestly not knowing, "Bella ran into the bathroom crying."

"I think you have bigger problems Edward," she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Bella's future disappeared," she said. "I don't see her anywhere."

I closed my eyes and sighed. I eyed an vase across the way that I know would help relieve some of my stress by smashing it.

"Don't you dare," she said. "Do you really think that will make her feel any better?"

Of course I knew it wouldn't so I let the thought escape me.

"I know," I said quietly. "I just don't know what to do. Things seemed to have been going so good and then it all just stopped."

"She just needs time Edward," Alice said. "And while you're giving her time I'll try and figure out why her future disappeared."

As soon as Alice said that I heard the bathroom door unlock, feet scamper across the room, a drawer open and close and then the door was locked again. I looked in that direction and thanked Alice before hanging up. I made my way over to the bathroom door and placed both of my hands upon it.

"Bella," I said, "are you alright in there?"

I noticed the crying had stopped and I could hear a sound I couldn't quite place.

"Bella," I pleaded again as I placed my forehead against the door, "Please unlock the door so we can talk. Please?" I could have very easily opened the door but I knew I needed to give her space.

A little while longer, a piece of paper slid under the door. I bent down and carefully picked it up, then let my eyes scan over her script.

_Edward,_

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ran. I'm sorry I'm hiding. I'm sorry I'm not the girl I was so many years ago. A lot has changed since we were together before. I had to learn to live my life without you and I was actually making progress until you showed up in my life again. It's not that I'm not happy that you're here, but you have to understand that it has totally turned my life upside down. Everything is different now in so many ways, I'm feeling very confused, hurt, loved...I'm a mixed bag of emotions._

_When I saw you standing at my door with Samantha, my heart skipped a beat because I never thought I would see you again. But then when reality set in and I realized you were with somebody else, and not just anybody else, but my cousin, it hurt. It still hurts to be quite honest, a lot. I understand that you still love me but that you moved on with another human makes me doubt what I thought we had, even_

_Then learning that my best friend is a werewolf and you don't want me to see him anymore, you can only imagine how that has my mind racing. He was there for me when you weren't, Edward. Jacob helped me through losing you and losing Alice, not to mention losing myself. He was there at my high school graduation to cheer me on and helped me mail out my college applications, even forcing me to mail an application to Dartmouth against my will because he heard me talk about it once. Jacob helped me move into my dorm and visited me during spring breaks, then of course came with Charlie to cheer me on yet again at my graduation from college. He knows that you left me and broke me, he worked hard to help put me back together and I can never forget that. I don't want to forget that._

_I'm sorry that I'm not sure what I want from my life anymore, I'm feeling very confused. Years ago I would have had no doubt that I wanted to spend eternity with you as a vampire, but now I'm not so sure. I hope you can understand Edward. I'll always love you but I'm just not sure if that's enough anymore. It's going to take a lot of time and rebuilding our relationship to see what happens between us. If you have to get back to Sam before I'm ready to come out I truly understand, I'll call and get a ride home from someone. And if you never want to see me again, I'd understand that too, but if you do leave please, PLEASE keep your original promise. I don't think my heart could take it again. I'm sorry..._

_All my love,_

_Isabella_

My eyes scanned over the page several times and it broke my un-beating heart more and more each time. My original promise? Suddenly my words that day came back to me: "It will be as if I never existed". I scanned around the room and my eye caught the piano. I grabbed my bag that I brought with me and pulled out the music composition book that Bella had given me for Christmas. I pulled out the two pages that I had already filled out, wrote a quick note on the top and back and then carefully slid it under the door. After that I made my way over to the piano and carefully sat on the bench and began to play.

**BPOV**

I felt like a child hiding in the bathroom but I didn't know what else to do. I sat with my back against the huge tub after I pushed my note under the door. I heard it being picked up and then heard Edward walk away. I figured that he was going to leave but moments later I heard his footsteps come back to the door and paper slide underneath towards me.

I stood up and carefully walked over to the door and picked up the paper. I looked at it and saw that it was sheet music with beautiful notes handwritten on the lines. I noticed it as paper from the notebook I gave him for Christmas. Not understanding, I saw words written at the top:

Bella's Lullaby

Then as I looked through the music I saw a note written to me after the last note:

Isabella, I love you. I have since the moment I saw you, while I was being selfish and keeping myself away from you, and even more now. I wrote this for you when we first met and I have played it in my mind and in my heart every single day. Both the song and my heart are yours and always will be – Edward

After I read the last line I heard the music coming from the other side of the door. I would know it anywhere no matter how old I was, it was my lullaby. As I listened to it being played over and over the tears started falling from my eyes yet again as I thought that he was right. That song he was playing would always be mine, and my heart would always be his. I had some important decisions to make. I tried to think of myself growing old with an 17 year old Edward by my side. Then I tried to think of myself as I am now for eternity. I would always look older than him because my human body would be older than his even if I was changed today. It was a hard decision but one I would have to make if we were going to stay together.

I would also have to figure out what to tell Samantha and the rest of my family...and Jacob. I saw how Jacob and Edward were together at my apartment and I could imagine how news of either scenario would go over with Jacob. It seemed like no matter what I did I was going to lose at least one person I loved, and that stung.

As I was racing through my thoughts I heard my lullaby come to a close, but this time it didn't start again. Worried that Edward was going to leave, I quickly stood up making sure to keep the copy of my lullaby safely in my hands as I made my way over to the door. I carefully unlocked it and opened it as I saw Edward sitting at the piano with his eyes closed.

**EPOV**

When I heard the bathroom door lock unclick I closed my eyes, not wanting to do anymore damage to Bella than I apparently already have done. When I felt her presence in the same room as me I slowly opened my eyes and met hers across the room. She was still standing in the doorway looking at me with red, puffy eyes from crying.

"Please," she quietly said, "keep playing?"

I looked at her with a questioning look as I asked myself if I heard her correctly.

"Do you need this?" she asked, holding up the sheet music.

I couldn't help but smile as I shook my head, "No. I don't need that. It's in here." I then put my hand over my heart. She continued to stand there in the doorway and I did as my love asked and continued playing her lullaby. Before I knew it she was slowly making her way over to the piano and stood at the opposite end of it just staring at me as I played. My eyes didn't need to be focused on the keys since the song was engraved in my heart so I moved my eyes to meet hers. We were like that for about two rounds through the song and then she kept one hand on the piano as she made her way around to the piano bench where I was sitting. She stood beside me, close enough that I could smell her wonderful scent but not close enough for my liking.

"Sit with me?" I asked as I continued playing.

"Not right now," she said hugging herself. Even with the smudged make-up she looked beautiful. I nodded at her response and continued playing until she stopped me with a question.

"Do you hate me?" she asked.

I immediately stopped playing, looked directly at her and asked, "Excuse me?"

"Do you hate me?" she repeated.

"Bella," I continued, "why would I hate you?"

"Because I'm not sure," she said with a few tears starting to fall. "Before...I wanted to be changed to be with you forever. Now I'm not sure. It's incredibly selfish of me, I know. I'm sorry."

I couldn't believe she was thinking that she was the selfish one. I immediately stood up from the piano and took the step towards her before wrapping her in my arms. With her head pressed against my chest I could feel the warm dampness against my skin from her tears.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Bella," I said. "And you're not being selfish. I'm the selfish one for ever wanting you to be with me. I'm the one who's sorry."

It was then that I concentrated on my favorite song in the world...the beating of my dearest Isabella's heart. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her tighter because she could have no idea how long I've waited for her to be in my arms like this again. The same question was rolling around in my head, I was wondering if she was still mine. I so desperately wanted her, but if she made the decision that she couldn't do this then I would have to find the strength to let her go; but I couldn't think about that right now while she was in my arms. I needed her love, I needed it always and forever but I can't say that to her anymore because she's unsure of what she wants. I wondered what I would do if she said no and I had to wonder the rest of my existence as lonely as I was for years. I would have to go to the Volturi and have it taken care of, there is no other way around it. I then realized that Bella wrapped her arms around me and it appeared that her crying had stopped. Feeling her wrap her arms around me, I couldn't resist bending down and placing a kiss upon the top of her head.

I felt like I was home. With my Bella in my arms home could be anywhere, all I needed was her. As her heartbeat steadied as she calmed, I kept my arms wrapped around my love and continued to ask myself if she was still mine. It was incredibly maddening not being able to read her thoughts, but I had a feeling that was a good thing.

**BPOV**

I felt as if I could stay in Edward's arms forever, but it was an emotional day and it was starting to wear on me.

"Edward?" I asked, breaking away from him slightly to look up at him.

"Yes my love?" he asked with a look of worry on his face as our eyes met.

"I'm starting to get tired," I said with a yawn, as if to prove my point. "I'm sorry."

Edward just smiled at me and picked me up in his arms as he said, "I understand, sometimes I forget about my human's needs. I apologize."

"No need to apologize," I said as he sat me on the edge of the huge, king-sized bed, "Shouldn't we just go back to my place?" I figured Edward would have to leave soon to head back to Sam and it only made sense to me that he would drop me off on the way.

"No," he said, "I'm going to stay here with you until..." he paused and looked at me again with sad eyes until I nodded for him to continue, understanding what he meant, "and then Alice will come stay with you. She said she'd bring you clothes to change into and then drive you home."

Realizing that I didn't have a lot longer with Edward I smiled and carefully kicked the shoes off of my feet as I curled up on the bed. Once there with my back against the pillows I looked up at Edward and patted the bed beside me.

"Isn't that dress going to be uncomfortable to sleep in?" he asked.

I hadn't really thought about it, I was so tired at the moment I didn't think it would make a difference. "I don't have anything else, so I don't really have a choice."

With that, Edward slipped off his jacket and quickly exited the bedroom and returned with a bag. After placing the bag on the bed he pulled out a blue t-shirt and asked, "This may be a bit more comfortable?"

After looking at him and the shirt for a moment I got off the bed and walked over to Edward and placed a kiss on his cheek. As he raised his hand to hand me the shirt he carefully caressed my cheek with the back of his hand before handing me the shirt. I went into the bathroom and changed. As I looked in the mirror I saw that the shirt was just long enough to cover my panties and figured it would have to do. Edward hadn't seen me like that in years and I hoped he wouldn't notice any changes in me, though I knew he would.

Once I opened the door I saw Edward sitting on the edge of the bed. When he saw me he stood up and watched me as I walked to the other side of the bed and pulled the covers back so that I could get comfortable under them. With another yawn I patted spot on the bed next to me for Edward to come join me. Very slowly and nervously Edward joined me in the bed. Once I was under the covers I looked over at him with a smile, then I saw him return that gorgeous crooked smile I always loved and saw in my dreams. I scooted over to him, placing my head on his chest and before I knew it his arms were wrapped around me. He hummed my lullaby and just before sleep overtook me I had to say what I was thinking and as I wrapped my arms around him I whispered, "I love you. I always have and I always will."

I know that put a full smile on his face as he pulled me even closer, but was always the cautious vampire that I loved.

The next morning I woke to the sun shining through the window and a note on the bed next to me. Once my eyes were able to focus I picked up the note and smiled when I saw the lovely script on it.

_My Dearest Isabella,_

_You have no idea what those words you said to me last night mean. I will call you later today. I love you too._

_Love,_

_Edward_

Then I heard noise coming from the living area. Both voices seemed familiar but I couldn't place both of them at that time in the morning. One was definitely Alice but I still couldn't place the other one. After a quick human moment in the bathroom, I grabbed one of the soft white robes on the back of the door and tied the belt around my waist as I opened the bedroom door to see what all the noise was.

"Just leave, please," I heard Alice say.

"No!" the other voice said. "I have just as much right to be here as you do. I want to see her."

"It's not in her best interest, Mutt," Alice said. "Just leave before someone gets hurt."

"You should be happy you're not on the reservation, Leech, or I'd take care of you so fast..." the other voice threatened.

As I turned the corner I saw who Alice was arguing with and I gasped. When they heard my gasp they both turned.

"Bella!" Jacob yelled as he made his way over to me. "Are you alright?"

I backed up from Jacob and he stayed in place with a look of sadness in his eyes.

"Bella, are you alright?" Alice repeated as she moved towards me too, but I continued to move away from them.

"Look what you did!" Alice told Jacob.

"Me?" he asked. "She was fine until you and your brother showed up!"

"Stop! Both of you!" I yelled as I ran my hand over my face and then back through my hair. "Just stop arguing and give me a minute!"

They both looked at me like I had three heads. Then after giving me a moment to calm myself Jacob looked at me and said, "I brought a peace offering."

I looked at him like he was insane as he walked over towards the kitchen area, then walked back with two white cups with lids in his hands.

"Peace, love and coffee," he said with a smirk on his face as he offered me one of the cups as a peace offering.

"Is it my favorite?" I asked.

"Of course," he said with a smile. I couldn't help but return the smile as I walked over to Jacob and grabbed the coffee from his hand and took a sip from it, causing my smile to grow.

"See," he said with a bigger smile, "I know how to treat my Bella."

**Thanks! Drop me a note to let me know what you think!**


	30. Chapter 30: Jacob's Surprise

_Sorry about the delay and the short update…_

**Chapter 30**

**Jacob's Surprise**

_"Peace, love and coffee," he said with a smirk on his face as he offered me one of the cups as a peace offering._

_"Is it my favorite?" I asked._

_"Of course," he said with a smile. I couldn't help but return the smile as I walked over to Jacob and grabbed the coffee from his hand and took a sip from it, causing my smile to grow._

_"See," he said with a bigger smile, "I know how to treat my Bella."_

**BPOV**

With my coffee in hand I walked over to the sofa and sat down before closing my eyes and taking a long sip from the warm cup moaning, "Ohmygod, this is the best!"

Jacob sat next to me and took a sip from his and leaned back right next to me, "Yep, this is the best."

I heard Alice huffing behind me as I sat there with my eyes closed, then I continued talking to Jacob.

"So a werewolf huh?" I asked with my eyes still closed, a bit afraid of the reaction I would get from both Jacob and Alice.

"Yep," he said and I heard him chuckle under his breath as I felt him shift beside me. "You afraid of the big bad wolf?"

I couldn't help but open my eyes and look over at Jacob. He was sitting there looking at me with a sly grin on his face. I laughed and shook my head as I sat my coffee on the coffee table in front of me, "I keep hearing I should be, but I'm not. I still see my Jacob."

Jacob turned around and looked at Alice with a scowl on his face and Alice just shrugged her shoulders as she sat on one of the chairs in the kitchen.

"Is that what she told you?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

My silence apparently told him all he needed to know and he reached his arm out and pulled me over to rest my head on his shoulder.

"I'm the same old Jacob you've always known," he said as he ran his hand up and down my arm, "you just know more secrets now."

"Bella, it's time for us to go," Alice said coming from behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders, being careful to keep her touch away from Jacob.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I just got up."

"It's time for us to go Bella," she said again. "We need to get you home."

"Why?" I asked again. "Why does this beautiful moment need to be ruined, Alice? I'm sure the room is paid for until at least noon."

"It is Bella," Alice said. "But just trust me, we need to get you home." From the way she was rolling her eyes and her body language I could tell something was up.

"Hold on a second Jacob," I said standing up. "I'll be right back."

I walked over to Alice to where we weren't so close to Jacob. I saw him turn around and watch us but didn't start talking to Alice until he turned around, continuing to sip on his coffee.

"Alice, what's going on?" I whispered.

"It's Edward," she said. "And Samantha."

"What about them?" I asked extremely confused.

"They're going to be at your apartment tonight," she said. "Something about a fight with her father?"

"And they're coming back to see me?" I asked.

"That's what I see," Alice said staring at me with an apologetic look in her eyes. It was a few moments later that my phone rang. I walked over to pick it up to see from the caller ID that it was Sam.

I glanced over at Alice in disbelief and then answered the phone, "Hello?"

All I could hear on the other end were sobs, "Izzy... ohmygod... Izzy?"

"Yes?" is all I could say as I tried to hold the phone closer to my ear to try to hear her better.

"Izzy, I'm on my way back to your place, I can't stand him any longer!"

"Can't stand who?"

"Dad!"

I knew they had their issues in the past but I wasn't sure what would happen with the holidays, "What happened?"

All I could hear again were sobs from the phone and then I heard Edward, "Bell-Izzy... this is Edw-Eddy... we're on our way to your place, I hope that's aright."

"What happened?" I asked while I found a place to sit down again next to Jacob.

"She can discuss it with you when we get there," he said. "Will it be fine if we're there in about two hours?"

"Of course," I said. "I'll meet you there."

"Thanks," he said before whispering into the phone. "And Bella, I know he's there."

I let that comment slide because I wasn't going to get into it with him about me spending time with Jacob on the phone.

"I'll see you in a few hours," I said politely before hanging up the phone.

"So what's up?" Jacob asked.

"We have to get going," I said as I stood up to go get ready to go home. Alice grabbed a bag and brought it over to me with a pair of my jeans in it and a shirt I didn't seem to recognize, so I imagined Alice had been shopping. I gave her a quick smile of appreciation and then made my way into the bedroom to get dressed.

It didn't take me long to get myself ready to go. I tossed everything into a bag, including the beautiful dress I had worn the night before and it's matching shoes and walked out into the living room.

"So are we ready to go?" Alice asked.

"I have my bike," Jacob said with a sly smile.

I made my way over to Alice and handed her the bag with all of my personal belongings in it.

"Alice, you have to trust me here."

"Bella, I can't see your future when he's involved," she said. "It's just not safe. Edward would rip me apart and burn me if anything happened to you on my watch."

"First of all, I don't need to be on anybody's watch and second of all I will be fine. I promise."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Isabella Marie Swan, I think you got more stubborn as you got older."

I couldn't help but smile at that comment because it was probably true.

"Is that our cue to leave?" Jacob said standing up from the sofa making his way over to us.

"I promise Alice," I said as I slipped my jacket on, "everything will be fine."

I could still hear Alice huffing in defeat as Jacob opened the door for me and we made our way out to his motorcycle.

"Safety for the human first," he said with a smile as he handed me the helmet.

After he made sure it was properly adjusted to fit me he started the bike and made our way back to my apartment.

"I'm staying," he said as he parked the bike and helped me get my helmet off.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"Why?" I asked. "To torture yourself? To torture Edward?"

"I kinda like the sound of that last one," he said with his sly smile. I couldn't help but elbow him in the ribs with that comment then I quickly pulled my arm back.

"Ouch!" I yelled. "What the hell?"

"Sorry Bells," he said. "It's a wolf thing. I guess I should have warned you."

"Ya think?" I asked, laughing. "Get me some ice for it when we get upstairs."

With us both chuckling we made our way upstairs and once we were safely in the apartment Jacob was true to his word and got me some ice from the freezer for my elbow.

It didn't seem like it was too much longer until there was a knock at the door. I froze and stared at Jacob.

"Promise me you'll be good," I begged.

"I'll be good," he promised. With that I grabbed the ice off my arm and walked over to the door to open it, knowing exactly who was going to be on the other side.

"Izzy!" Sam cried as she walked through the door and straight into my arms. While she was crying as I hugged her I looked at Edward wondering what had happened to cause so much drama with her. He wasn't much help, especially when his eyes landed on Jacob.

"I'm sorry," he said. "We didn't know you had company."

"Ohmygod!" Sam yelled when she heard that comment. She pulled her head up turning towards the door and attempted to fix her face and hair saying, "Izzy, I had no idea you had company. I'm so sorry!"

"Sam," I said pulling her back in for a hug, "no need to worry, it's just Jacob."

"Just Jacob?" I heard Jacob say as he stood up and made his way over to us, placing his hand over his heart. "I'm hurt!"

Sam looked up at Jacob and when their eyes met I saw something in both of them.

"Jacob?" she asked as she looked him over, "Jacob Black?"

"Samantha?" he asked. "Is that really you? It's been so long. You look so grown up!"

She smiled and blushed like I always did as they looked at each other.

"I'm a senior this year," she said adjusting her hair and shirt.

"College?"

Sam just nodded in agreement. I didn't know what was going on but something weird was happening between them.

Edward cleared his throat to gather the attention of the crowd, "Well if it is alright for Samantha to stay here with you, I'll go get a room at the hotel I stayed at last time. Is that suitable?" He asked this as he looked at both Sam and I.

I nodded and Sam agreed. She gave him a quick hug and found her way to the sofa with Jacob.

"What happened to you?" he asked quietly by the door as he saw the icepack I was still holding onto.

"Stupid Bella moment," I said. "I tried to hit a werewolf."

"You what?" he asked with a ferocious whisper.

"I'm fine," I said holding my elbow up for him to inspect. "See?"

He eyed it carefully but it's not as if he would be able to do anything about it anyway. He then whispered, "I'll check it tonight. That is, if you will leave your window open?"

"Of course," I whispered. "I'll text you when I go to bed."

"Enjoy your time with Izzy." Edward yelled to the living room. Samantha told him that he was more than welcome to stay with us but Edward just glanced at me with a smile once more before he left while Samantha continued her conversation with Jacob.

I figured Edward hadn't had the time to hunt like he should with everything going on, so I figured that was where he was going to spend his time for the rest of the day. I had no idea where Alice was but I imagined she would be meeting up with Edward somewhere since she was supposed to be gone already.

Walking over to the sofa I overheard Jacob and Sam talking about just about everything, and Jacob seemed to be genuinely interested in everything Sam was saying. In all honesty I was happy that they were there to keep each other company because I really wasn't in the mood to deal with either one of them. I loved them both more than just about anyone in this world, but I wasn't really in the mood to entertain them at the moment.

After getting myself a glass of juice from the fridge I made my way over to them and sat down, vaguely listening to their conversation. They didn't seem to even notice I was there so I closed my eyes and at some point fell asleep.

**Thanks for reading, any comments are welcome!**


	31. Chapter 31: Protector, Lover, Friend

**Thanks to Chellie09 for her editing **

**Chapter 31**

**Protector, Lover, Friend**

**BPOV**

At some point Sam and Jacob fell asleep together on the sofa, because when I woke up Jacob was propped up on the end of the sofa with his arms around Sam asleep at his side with her head on his shoulder. I stood up and gently draped a blanket over the two of them before heading to the bathroom and then into my room.

When I entered my room I immediately sensed his presence.

"Edward?" I asked, unable to keep the yawn from my mouth with the words.

"Yes?" he asked as I noticed him in the corner of my room looking through an old photo album. I looked over at the alarm clock next to my bed and saw that it was past 1:30 in the morning before asking, "Why didn't you wake me up?"

He had that all familiar sad look on his face, "You have been looking so exhausted, I didn't want to disturb your sleep anymore than I already have." With those words he looked down at the photo album and showed me that crooked smile I have always loved and asked, "It looks like you had some fun in college."

I yawned again and then plopped on the edge of my bed with my hands over my face, wondering which embarrassing album he had taken from my shelf, "Which album is that?"

"This one is your senior year," he said. "It by far looks like the most fun of your four years."

"Yeah," I said with a chuckle, "we had some fun."

Edward gently closed the photo album and placed it on the shelf precisely where it was before and then made his way over to where I was sitting.

"May I?" he asked gesturing to the spot next to me.

"You didn't wait for permission to slip into my room," I said, "so why ask permission now?"

"I'm sorry Bella, you're absolutely correct," he said. "I never got your specific permission to enter your bedroom. If you would like me to leave I will."

"No, no," I said shaking my head as I fought another yawn. "I'm sorry. I told you before I would see you tonight. I'm just exhausted and it's catching up with me."

Edward sat next to me on the end of the bed and gestured towards the bedroom door, "Can you believe what happened between them?"

"Yeah, it's weird huh?" I said. "I don't understand it but it's as if Jake has fallen head over heels! They wouldn't stop talking!"

Edward chuckled beside me and shook his head, "You don't get it do you?"

"Get what?" I asked, totally confused by the situation.

"Your friend, Jacob, he's imprinted."

I was still confused, "Jacob? Imprinted? What are you talking about?"

"Imprinting. Werewolves imprint. I can sense it now through Jacob and I've heard about it before," he said. "They say it's not like love at first sight really. It's more like gravity moves suddenly. It's not the earth holding him here anymore, she does. He'll become whatever she needs him to be, whether that's a protector, a lover, or a friend."

That was deep and a lot to take in. I sat there thinking about it while I could feel Edward studying my face.

"Bella?" he asked. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, trying to not only convince him but myself. "Yeah. It's just... wow. Jacob and Samantha?"

"Apparently," he said.

So now it hit me. If Jacob and Samantha were going to be together, what would that mean for Edward and I? My main reservation about trying to be with Edward again was how it would devastate Samantha, but if that isn't a problem anymore would it be fine for Edward and I to be together, or to at least try again?

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked as I felt his cool finger push some hair behind my ear.

"What all that means?" I said staring straight ahead.

"What do you think it means?" he asked me.

After a moment of thinking I answered him because I know he was desperate to hear my response. I brought both of my legs up on the bed and sat facing him as I thought aloud for his benefit. "If they're together now, what does that mean for us? Do we have the all clear to try again?" I couldn't help but notice a small smile on his face as he moved his body to be facing mine on the bed. "And trying again leads to more questions. How do we explain it? Charlie and Jacob want to kill you and how will we explain it to Samantha? There's an age difference now Edward. We didn't have that before. For god's sake I'd be considered a cougar!"

I had managed to be staring out into space as I talked and Edward's chuckle brought me out of it as he grabbed my hands into his. "I much prefer mountain lions," he said, "but I have nothing against cougars."

"Be serious Edward!" I yelled in a whispered tone as to not wake up the human and shape-shifter in the other room. "It's a serious issue!"

"To you maybe, but I'm really over 100 years old," he said. "So your issue doesn't sound as bad now does it?

**EPOV**

I could see that my attempts to find humor in the situation Bella was having so much trouble with wasn't helping, so I crawled back and laid in her bed with my head on the pillow and invited her back with me. A bit hesitantly she moved back and laid with me, placing her head on my chest and I realized how much I missed this; her warmth, the smell of strawberries radiating from her, the scent of her blood, and most of all the feeling in my unbeating heart that seemed to be filled again.

"Let's let the issues fall as they may," I said, "we'll make it work if it was meant to be."

"And another issue," she said as if her mind was racing and she heard nothing I said, "I'm not sure if I want to be changed or not. I mean yes, I love you. I always have loved you and I will always love you, but I'm still broken Edward. You have to realize that I'm still broken. And if I decide not to be changed, would that matter to you? What would people say? What kind of life would we lead because we would have to constantly be moving right? And if I decide to be changed, then I lose my family. Edward, there are no easy answers."

"I know," I said as I rubbed my hand up and down her arm to try to settle her down. "No matter what you choose we'll figure it out. I'll discuss it with Carlisle and he'll be able to guide us. And Bella, I'll do whatever I have to in order to fix you. I broke you and it's my job to fix you."

As I said that Bella looked up at me and I noticed tears starting to form in her eyes. "It's just going to be so hard either way."

"I know," I said, "and I'm sorry for that. If I would have just stayed away from here and my family this would have never happened."

"Don't say that," she said turning more on her side and wrapping her arms around me. "Don't ever say that. You have no idea how much you being back means. It means everything, and nothing can be harder than the past few years have been, nothing!"

We laid there for a few minutes with our arms around each other and I placed a few kisses atop of her head. When I heard her heart and breaths steady out I carefully pulled up a blanket to cover her so that she would stay warm. Knowing that there was no true obstical in our way anymore made me want to stay exactly where I was.

Through the night Bella talked in her sleep. I only heard a few words and saw a few actions but even without being able to read her thoughts I think I figured out what she was dreaming about. Between the words "Edward, mad, leave, mate, change, and sorry" along with a bit of thrashing, and a few tears, it was pretty obvious. I didn't want to wake her up but when she seemed to be really upset I would simply hum her lullaby quietly and she would settle down again for a bit.

When she woke up in the morning she was quite beautiful when she stetched and yawned. I couldn't help by smile at the sight in front of me while she woke from her slumber.

"Good morning," I said with a smile.

She pulled the hair away from her face and smiled before she opened her eyes and looked at me saying, "Good morning."

We just seemed to stare at each other for a bit before I heard her stomach growl.

"Breakfast time for the human?" I asked.

She laughed a bit at that so I was happy to see that even with her wrestless sleep she was in a good mood.

"Let me get up and have a human moment, and then I'll see what the human and wolf situation is. I'll be right back."

As she got up out of bed I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. Her recent hesitation with being changed was disheartening to me, but I could understand her concerns. If I had been given the choice of this life I know that I would have refused under the circumstances I was changed, but knowing that my perfect mate would be with me for eternity would make it an awfully tempting offer to refuse. But my Bella is a different creature and that is one of the many things I love about her.

She looked in her closet and pulled out a pair of jeans and a simple blue sweater, then went over to her drawer and pulled out her underwear before looking over at me with blush flooding her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Um," she said, "If they're waking up I can't exactly go out and change in the bathroom now."

"Oh," I said, the thought not even entering my mind, "I'll leave and give you – "

"No," she said, "Why don't you just turn around and give me a minute?"

"Sure," I said and turned to face the wall. I heard the sound of cloth against Bella's skin as it fell to the floor and then again as she pulled it up on her body. It didn't take very long and then she said I was safe to turn around.

"Thanks," she said with the blush still in her face.

I stood up, handed her the mug of coffee from the nightstand and we made our way out into the living room and kitchen.

**Thanks again for reading **** Leave me a something to let me know what you think! I'm thinking about 3 chapters left…**


	32. Chapter 32: The Disconnect

**Thanks as always to Chellie09!**

**Chapter 32**

**The Disconnect**

**EPOV**

When we made our way though the living room to the kitchen we couldn't help but notice Samantha and Jacob together. Samantha seemed as content as ever and there was something I could just sense around them. Jacob of course was dreaming of he and Samantha and from the glimpses of her late dreams I could see that she was dreaming of him. They had imprinted, I was correct in my thinking and I couldn't help but smile at the thought. Maybe things were really going to work out, and I couldn't help be feel a bit of the weight on my shoulders alleviate.

"Breakfast?" I asked Bella.

"It's alright," she said with a smile, "I'll grab it."

I made my way to one of the stools by the counter and sat down following her eyes over to her cousin and friend, and then my eyes returned to her. She must have sensed my attention on her because her eyes immediately found their way to mine and she smiled.

"What are you looking at?" she asked.

"You," I said simply, unable to contain the smile on my face.

"What?" she said with another smile of her own and then she winked. "You want to watch me hunt?"

After she said that she turned to the cupboard and pulled down a box of cereal, poured some in a bowl she grabbed from the drying rack and then retrieved some milk from the fridge to pour on top of it. After she returned the milk she joined me on a stool at the counter.

"Good?" I asked.

"It's not Pop-Tarts," she said, "but it'll do."

We sat there for a few minutes while she ate and sipped from her coffee. She was quiet and seemed to be thinking which made me desperately want to know what was going on in that mind of hers. It was then that we heard someone get up followed by footsteps and the bathroom door closing. A few minutes later Jacob made his way over to the kitchen as he wiped his eyes and still seemed to be a bit groggy.

"Good morning," Bella said to him.

"Morning," he mumbled, cautiously eyed me and then practically stumbled to a cabinet.

"Coffee's hot," Bella said as she finished up eating her cereal.

"Thanks," he replied.

After he poured his coffee he took a long drink from the mug and looked directly at us, his gaze bouncing between Bella and I.

"Have a seat," Bella said. "Grab some breakfast."

Jacob looked directly at me, took another drink of his coffee and said, "I think it will take a few more gallons of this stuff until I'm ready to do that. Sorry Bells."

After saying that he moved back into the living room, obviously waiting for Samantha as he turned on the TV to the sports channel. His comment obviously hit Bella because she was sitting beside me with her coffee mug between her hands as her eyes looked at her mug, I could sense the hurt from her. I inhaled a deep breath as my hands formed into fists at my side ready to hurt the mutt like he hurt her.

"Stop," she said without even looking at me. "I'm fine. It's something I'll just have to learn to live with if we're going to do this."

"He didn't need to..."

"Whatever," she said. "We all deal with our feelings in different ways, right?"

I sat beside her and nodded, then unfisted my hands and grabbed her hand into mine, squeezing it gently.

**BPOV**

"So your flight leaves tomorrow, right?" I heard Jacob say to Samantha as they sat and watched TV.

"Yes," she said, and I could hear the sadness in her voice.

I could tell at that moment she truly had something for him. I turned to Edward who gave me a small smile and grabbed my hand to give it a comforting squeeze. I couldn't help but wonder how we were going to get everything to work out.

"Are you hungry?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she said, "I really am."

Jacob then offered to take her out to breakfast. She looked over at Edward and I and we both nodded to let her know that was fine with us. I was actually happy because it would give Edward and I a bit more time together alone to try to discuss some things. It wasn't long until Samantha had quickly dressed and made her way over to the kitchen. She came over to me and wrapped her arms around me in a happy embrace. She then looked at Edward and I could tell she was feeling uneasy. She planted a kiss on his cheek and announced that they would be back later. She seemed to be totally over Edward at this point.

When we heard the door close, Edward picked up my bowl and spoon, taking them to the sink to quickly wash them up.

"You don't have to do that," I said as I walked over and refilled my coffee. "But thank you."

I placed my hand atop of his and it was then that I first really felt remnants of the connection we once had. We looked into each others eyes and not being able to read each others minds, we could tell that the other had felt it too. He grabbed my free hand and started to lead me over towards the sofa, but then he abruptly changed course towards my bedroom.

Sitting on the edge of my bed and having me sit right next to him, he grabbed my hot coffee and placed it on the nightstand.

"Bella," he said, "I know that we still have a lot to talk about, things to sort through, but I want you to know I'm willing to do anything." The look in his eyes was a pleading one. I could tell he was apologizing yet again for the choice he made so many years ago, and the choice he had most recently made, with the help of Alice.

"I know," I said.

The way he looked at me, my whole body grew warm. My breaths started to halt in my throat and I wondered to myself how we were going to make this all work, and if I would ever get used to being with him again; his smooth, hard skin; his messy bronze hair; perfect face and body. He was the opposite of me in so many ways.

"I love you Bella."

"I always have," I said, "and I always will."

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he pulled me closer.

He leaned in to kiss me as all of my doubts left my mind. I was pushed back against the pillows on my bed as he carefully covered my body with his. Suddenly his lips were by my ear as he whispered, "If I hurt you, or you want me to stop let me know."

His fingers snaked under my top, sliding along my stomach to the edge of my bra as I closed my eyes and whispered, "I love you." I hadn't said those words for so long and it felt so good go be able to tell him again. As he released the clasp of my bra I heard a soft muffled groan from him that made me want more. Every move he made was so graceful, yet seemed foreign.

"What's wrong?" he asked as I gently pushed him away. His breath was coming in short gaps as his eyes found mine.

"Nothing," I said as I turned on my back to adjust my shirt.

He sighed and moved away, pulling the touch of his skin away from mine. Before I knew it he was up, pacing the room in front of me. He stopped and sat back down next to me as I found my way again to the edge of the bed and faced me.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what overcame me."

I looked down at the ground, not exactly knowing what to say. In high school it would have been second nature to be like that with him, but it was all different now. We had to learn how to be with each other again, and I had to decide, and decide fast on the choice I wanted to make for the rest of my life; continue to age and spend my lifetime with the man I love or be changed to be like him so we could be together or an eternity. It wasn't an easy decision either way.

He must have sensed my insecurity and nervousness because I exhaled in relief when he lifted his fingers to my face and ran his fingers along the curve of my jaw as he leaned in a hot kiss to me, his lips making a series of stops from my forehead, to my nose, to my mouth. Just when I think he's about to kiss me again, he squeezes my hand and waits patiently for me.

His hand returns to my cheek before I realized he was catching the warm tears falling from my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked with that pained look on his face again.

"I'm just so confused," I said as I reached over to grab a tissue to wipe my face. "It's not an easy decision to make."

"I hope you don't feel as if I'm rushing you," he said. "I've been waiting over 100 years. I can wait more."

That comment made me feel even more guilty. I have been around only a bit over 2 decades and yet the man beside me had been waiting much longer than that.

"You're not," I said not wanting to give away too much of how I felt.

"I'll be with you forever," he said. "As long as you want me, I'll be with you through whichever forever you choose."

We sat and just held hands for a few minutes before he sensed that Jacob and Samantha were on their way upstairs. We made our way to the living room where we sat and waited for them with the TV on.

EPOV

As soon as Jacob walked in the apartment I could hear his thoughts. He was truly loving Samantha but still wanting to protect Bella. They made their way into the living room with us and sat on the opposite end of the sofa as Bella. I could sense from Samantha's thoughts that she was trying to figure out how to break up with me, and I tried to figure out how I could best help the situation.

"Samantha," I said, "I got a call from my mother while you were out and she and my dad are going to meet me out here to look at a few colleges before we have to go back to school. Will you be alright flying back yourself?"

She looked at Jacob and then back at me saying, "I'll be fine. Thanks."

That little story would allow me more time with Bella and more time for us to talk. The rest of the day we didn't do much. It was easy to see how uneasy Jacob was with me there, especially with his thoughts screaming at me. Even with the drama, we ended up spending the rest of the day watching movies and relaxing as much as possible.

When the evening came, Samantha pulled me to the side.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Um, I don't quite know how to say this," she said, extremely nervous. "But I'm not sure that we're such a good thing anymore."

I looked up at her, relieved with the turn of events, though unhappy about how upset and afraid she was feeling.

"It's not you Edward, seriously. It's me."

"It's alright Samantha, really it is. I was sensing the same thing."

"Really?" she asked, almost seeming excited. "Because you really are a wonderful guy, I just don't think we we meant to be together."

"That's fine Samantha. You're a wonderful girl and any guy will be happy to have you."

She smiled. I gave her a hug and she made her way back to Jacob. Bella made her way over to me and had overheard the entire short conversation as she sat reading from her book.

I told everyone good night when it was late and Samantha assured me that she would not need a ride to the airport, that Jacob had said he could give her a ride. With that cleared up, I excused myself and then found my way back to Bella's room as I waited for her to come in for the evening.

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